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“Bad Girls” Recaps: Episode 3.12 “Tough Love”

THIS WEEK’S RAP SHEET:

The con: A new inmate cons Nikki with a kiss.

The caretaker: Helen’s still looking out for Nikki, even when it seems like she’s not. The cheater: Julie S. is emotionally unfaithful to Julie J.

A bad omen – When the episode’s called “Tough Love,” we know we’re in for a tough night. Is that what Helen thinks she’s been doing lately – offering Nikki some sort of tough love? Because it seems like she hasn’t been giving her much of anything, except the cold shoulder.

Still rioting – So yeah, the riot is still going strong. A rather butch inmate (where are all the Larkhall butches, anyway?) is keeping watch near the wing office as Maxi comes by for a status update.

Maxi: How is it? Butch con: Sod-all going on. Maxi: Well, shout if they try anything, yeah? [heads for the wing office] Butch con: Hey! Nikki said not to go in there. Maxi: Nikki who?
Brat. What kind of a name is Maxi, anyway? I’m resisting the easy joke here.

Her, that’s who – Nikki is still top dog to me, especially when she’s washing her face and wearing her bra. The blonde newbie is also happy to find Ms. Wade so scantily clad – she is waltzing into Nikki’s cell to bring her a morning cuppa. She apologizes for barging in while Nikki is in a state of undress, but she doesn’t exactly avert her gaze. They drink their tea and try not to look at each other too fondly.

Rifling – Maxi goes right to the filing cabinet in the wing office. Clearly she has some sort of nefarious plan, and apparently it involves prisoner records. Shouldn’t those filing cabinets be locked? Or – just an idea – shouldn’t sensitive information be in some sort of records storage area, rather than in the tea-making break-taking area? Next thing you know, they’ll be giving the prisoners access to pool cues and heavy furniture.

Clothes on, bets off – Nikki and her new admirer (her name is Caroline, and I’m telling you that because I’m too impatient to wait for it to come up organically) have settled onto Nikki’s bunk to enjoy their tea. The inevitable question follows:

Nikki: So, what you in for? Caroline: Embezzlement. Nikki: [waits patiently for details] Caroline: The guy I was with needed money for his software firm. Stop it going under. [nervously, as Nikki continues to wait] I was working for a big travel agent’s … I had access to the accounts, and …
Nikki’s pretty smart, isn’t she? People will fill a void with nonsense rather than sit in silence, so the best thing to do if you want information is just wait. But I guess she’s warming up to Caroline now, or so it seems.

Nikki: What did you get? Caroline: Minus what I did on remand, I’ve got 18 months to go. Nikki: And what about him? Caroline: Did a bunk, didn’t he? Not seen him since I went down. [bitterly] We’d been together five years. Nikki: [ruefully] The things we do for love, eh? Caroline: Both in for the same reason, then. Nikki: What? Caroline: You killed a copper, didn’t you? For trying to rape your girlfriend? Nikki: Who told you that?! Caroline: Everyone knows about you. You got a big following in here. Nikki: Well, first I’ve heard of it.
Nikki is both embarrassed and chuffed. It’s adorable.

Caroline: Modest and smart! [getting serious] Not much you haven’t got, really, is there? Nikki: I wouldn’t get too close.You might be disappointed. Caroline: How close will you let me come?
Nikki doesn’t say anything; she just holds her gaze. So Caroline goes in for the kiss. Nikki jumps to her feet faster than you can say “Acting Governor.”
Nikki: I’m spoken for.
Not that Helen’s done much speaking up for you lately, Nikki!
Caroline: Not what I heard. Nikki: I said you’d be disappointed. Caroline: Not what I’ve seen, either. Nikki: Yeah, well. It’s no one in here. Caroline: I’m a big girl, you know. If this is your way of letting me down gently, I … Nikki: No! I should be out of here soon, with any luck, and then we’ll be together.
And here I thought she was giving up hope. I love Nikki’s ability to keep believing against all odds. (I just wish we could occasionally see some of her other qualities as well.)
Caroline: Soon can be a long time in a place like this.
If you know what I mean. Nikki neither confirms nor denies that she gets the hint, but I’m pretty sure she’s a big girl too.

Governing – At Riot Control HQ, Helen is still pacing and plotting. She wants to resolve the crisis peacefully, not “go in hard” as Hollamby suggests.

Helen: The fact is, they have a genuine grievance. They’re not out for themselves.
If it’s so genuine, why didn’t you just give Nikki a status report when she asked for one?

Gina points out that some of the inmates don’t care about Femi at all and are just rioting for rioting’s sake.

Helen: I’m well aware of it. And as soon as it’s sorted out, they’re gonna pay for it. Don’t you worry.
So Helen makes an announcement over the prison P.A. system. I forget that even exists; they so rarely use it. I’d be on there all the time, saying things like, “Top o’ the morning, everyone! Don’t forget the pool tournament today on the Lido deck.” Or, “If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.”

Helen says she’s willing to negotiate and asks everyone to go to the prison atrium. The atrium? Is that what the big open area is called? Can I get some blueprints, please, so I can make sense of this place?

The inmates file in, looking like they’re more interested in rumbling than negotiating. Through the bars, Helen and Nikki lock eyes again. How many more gazes-through-the-gates must we endure?

Helen: [calmly] OK. I’ve thought about all you’ve said, and I understand your grievance. Nikki: [loudly, in top dog mode] So what you gonna do about it? Helen: I’ve spoken to Allocation. We’ve made arrangements to transfer another Nigerian prisoner with a similar background to Femi. She’ll be here tomorrow. She speaks good English. She and Femi can share a cell on E Wing. Nikki: Well, that’s something. Helen: So would you like to call off your little protest now? Nikki: [eagerly] It’s off.
But Maxi disagrees. She wants her grievances to be heard – they’re mostly about prison conditions, because, well, it’s prison – so she quickly whips everyone into a frenzy again.
Nikki: [to Helen] It just needs time to sink in. That’s all. They’re a bit fired up. Helen: And who fired them up, Nikki?
Oooh. Nikki looks stunned. It’s a low blow, and an unfair one; when did Helen stop loving Nikki for wanting justice above all else? But Helen just gives her a stern look and walks away. Nikki tries to get Maxi and the others to simmer down, but Maxi doesn’t think Nikki deserves to be top dog anyway.
Maxi: [to the crowd] Just ’cause she topped a pig about 50 years ago.
As Nikki and Maxi stare each other down, Yvonne watches from above. Nikki soon takes issue with that – after she scoffs at Maxi and walks away, conceding for now.
Nikki: [to Yvonne] Thanks for all your help. Yvonne: I told you; I’m sick of fighting other people’s battles. Nikki: There’s some things you’ve gotta make a stand for. Yvonne: Look. I already go to sleep at night with one eye open because of those three little tarts. I’m getting too old for this, Nikki. I just want a quiet life. Nikki: Well, you’re not gonna get that with Maxi Purvis in charge, are ya? [walks away]
Moms! I hate it when you two fight!

Yvonne quickly reconsiders and calls after Nikki. She’s almost gleeful, as if she has suddenly figured out how to minimize Maxi.

A little light reading – In the Peckham Boot Gang’s cell, Maxi is reading her file, as well as Al’s and Tina’s. They all glory in their criminality. They’re so busy preening, they don’t notice that Nikki is right outside their door – and she’s pulling it shut. “It’s lockup time,” says Nikki. Heh. Out of options – Helen is preparing her officers to go in and take control because the inmates still refuse to stand down. As she stresses the importance of professionalism and safety, Gina interrupts.

Gina: Nikki Wade wants to see you. She says it’s all over.

Helen and her posse clomp back to the atrium. The prisoners are a little shocked to see all the screws in riot gear.

Helen: Well? Nikki: We’ve called it off. Helen: Where’s the Purvis sisters? Nikki: Let’s just say the were banged up early.
As Nikki says this, smirking, Caroline looks on, smiling. See what happens when you neglect your bird, Helen? Without a word of thanks or encouragement, Helen orders them all back to their cells. This doesn’t sit too well; everyone sort of scowls and shifts on their feet.
Nikki: Do as she says. Helen: What are you waiting for, Wade? I said get back to your cell.
Nikki does as she’s told, but as she shuffles off with the others, she looks back over her shoulder as if to make sure Helen can see how much it hurts. Would a simple grunt of gratitude really have been so difficult, Miss Stewart?

The cleanup – The screws start to remove all the things that were transgressively placed on the safety netting. And in their cell, the two Julies think about how they’ll soon restore order to their own lives:

Julie J. [dreamily] One day we’ll have a place of our own. Cottage in the country’d be nice. Little stream … and no men to spoil it.
Julie S. feigns support, but she looks a little uncertain about that last part. There’s more uncertainty in the hallway on G-3:
Nikki: This wasn’t about you. Helen: I don’t wanna hear it!
Yow! Maybe it’s just because my headphones are accentuating Helen’s vehemence, but that seemed unnecessarily harsh. On the other hand, it does bring to mind fond memories of “SIT IN THAT CHAIR!”
Nikki: It was about the system. Helen: I am the system while I’m in charge. You betrayed me tonight. Nikki: I thought you wanted to change things in here. Helen: Not by violence. Nikki: That was the Peckham Gang wanting a free-for-all. They don’t care about Femi. Helen: It’s over, Nikki. Nikki: What? Helen: You and me. I don’t want anything more to do with you. And do you know something? I don’t even feel sad about it.
Um. With or without headphones, that was just plain nasty. As Helen orders Nikki back into her cell and locks the door, Nikki seems to be literally holding herself together. I can’t say I’m liking this episode very much so far. Helen, what has come over you?! All Nikki did was what you’ve come to expect of her: She spoke her mind and refused to accept the inequities of life behind bars. I thought that was the sort of high moral character that made you let her in when she showed up on your doorstep that fateful eve. Maybe that was more about hormones than morals.

The next morning – Miss Stewart is on the P.A. again, telling everyone they’ll be locked in their cells until further notice. Hollamby smirks with approval.

Nikki doesn’t much care to go anywhere anyway. She’s in her bed, crying.

Tina’s crying too, but … well, it’s complicated. A squad of screws are searching Tina and Maxi’s cell, apparently as part of the cleanup. The Peckham sisters managed to flush most of the evidence, but one file was still in plain sight, so Maxi has stuffed it under Tina’s mattress. Tina’s now sobbing, and on Maxi’s order, she’s also peeing – as if she’s “having a fit” of fright, as Maxi says, but really to keep the screws away from the evidence.

Gross. Not quite as bad as that hot tub thing on Nip/Tuck, but very icky. Quite a nifty skill, though, peeing on command.

And despite all that, it seems Helen didn’t even know there were any files missing – in the wing office, she orders Hollamby to sift through the cabinets and make sure all the records are in order. Hollamby looks like she’s ready to wet herself too, at the magnitude of the task.

There’s one bright spot in all of it: The new Nigerian inmate arrives and is immediately a great comfort to Femi.

From bad to worse – Helen and Dr. Waugh are having coffee. She says she’s looking forward to the conference. Oh, you mean the weekend away with academics and aperitifs?

Thomas: It’ll be my turn to be bricking it. Helen: Not quite the same scale.
Yeah, Thomas: In what universe is presenting your stupid little paper even half as difficult as quelling a prison riot? You ass. Helen says as much, which almost makes me like her again, but then she says this:
Helen: Anyway, you’ll have me to hold your hand.
No. Incorrect! Wrong wrong wrong! Dammit. Fine, Helen, go have a romantic weekend with your puppy-dog-eyed sycophant. I won’t even feel sad about it.

A long exterior shot – It seems like we’re getting more exterior shots than usual in this episode – almost as if they ran out of time and had to replace cut scenes with stock footage. Let’s hope the deleted stuff was Helen/Thomas rather than Helen/Nikki.

(Oh, wait – Helen Thomas? Funny.)

A letter – Julie S. has a letter from her son – or maybe it’s from someone else; she hides it before Julie J. can be sure. But Julie J. is sure David will be happy to get “his mum and his Aunti Ju” back tomorrow. Oh, Julie S., why won’t you just tell her (and us) whatever your little secret is? Your squinched-up concerned face is getting tiresome.

Meanwhile, it seems Nikki has just told Barbara what Helen said. They’re discussing it as they walk to breakfast. I wish we could have heard Nikki’s description of Helen’s tone and mean face.

Barbara: Well, she’ll have said that in the heat of the moment, won’t she? Nikki: Seemed pretty final to me. Maybe she’s just come to her senses. I mean … it is a bit unlikely, when you think about it, me and her together. Barbara: Well, not if you win your appeals.
As they arrive at the breakfast queue, they’re interrupted by a hello from Caroline. It’s been a while since “Hi, Nikki” sounded that much like “Please kiss me.” And Nikki seems pretty happy to see Caroline too. Barbara looks surprised; she’s no doubt aware how difficult it is for anyone to get Nikki’s attention when she’s got Helen on the brain. Barbara makes herself scarce as Nikki and Caroline chat about how well they slept. No matter how I feel about Helen (when I’m not disappointed in her like I have been lately), this flirty stuff is cute. It’s nice to see Nikki be on the receiving end of the wooing for a change.

From a nearby table, Maxi find the flirting interesting too, though presumably for entirely different reasons.

The wing office – Barbara’s such a romantic. As she cleans the office, she tells Helen how great Nikki is.

Barbara: It’s a good job Nikki was in control the other night. Helen: [scowling] I’m sorry?
Gah, more unnecessary harshness! The way she said that, it sounded more like, “How dare you speak to me?!” This temporary authority is going to your head, Helen. Temporarily, I hope.

Barbara: Otherwise we might have had a full-blown riot on our hands. It’s just … I heard some of the officers talking as if she were the ringleader, when actually she did everything she could to contain it. Helen: Did she tell you to say all this? Barbara: Oh, no no, you mustn’t think that. Helen: In case you’ve forgotten, it was Nikki who instigated the whole thing. Barbara: Yes, but it started peacefully. Helen: [seething] Barbara. We are lucky no one was killed. Now, if Nikki hadn’t kept a lid on things, she’d have been out of here at the speed of light. If she thinks she was badly treated, you can tell her from me she doesn’t know she was born!
As Helen stomps out, Barbara’s face says what we’re all thinking: What the hell crawled up her ass?!

Leather jacket aside, these mean faces do nothing for Helen’s appearance. She’s just scary in this episode.

A tale of two Julies – Yvonne asks Babs to help her get some of the communion wine so they can have a send-off for the two Julies. Barbara says that’s locked up, but she might be able to get something better.

Meanwhile, in a private visiting room, Julie S. tells her son David that she has begun to reconcile with his father, Trevor. So this is the big secret she’s been keeping from Julie J. – is there a more lesbian non-lesbian couple in the world than the two Julies?

Julie says she’s so glad David will finally get to have two parents.

David: I’ve always had two parents. Auntie Julie’s been like a second mum.
So gay!

Julie S. says they’ll be living with Julie J. anyway, and always will, no matter what happens with Trevor.

Julie S.: I’ve told him straight: We come as a package.
Straight. Package. Oh, I can’t even make the jokes.

The potting shed – Caroline is in the garden, sketching the potting shed. Right on cue, Nikki emerges from the shed.

Nikki: What you doing here? Caroline: Art class. Nikki: [taking a seat next to Caroline, close enough for their shoulders to touch] I didn’t know you had a talent. Caroline: Didn’t you? We’re doing a project called inside/outside. So I thought I’d do your shed. Sort of like an inside space … but outside. [glancing at the high prison walls] But still inside, if you know what I mean.
Wow, check out the rather smoldering look on Nikki’s face. I think she knows exactly what Caroline means, if you know what I mean.

Caroline: So I’ll need to do the inside as well, won’t I? If you let me.

Nikki: Come on.

As they go into the shed, Helen watches from inside the prison. Her face doesn’t look nasty now – just anguished. Kind of interesting for Helen to be gazing out through bars, isn’t it? It harks back to that time Nikki peered down from her cell to see Helen and Dominic chatting.

Except Helen has nobody to blame for her incarceration (or her thwarted desires) but herself.

Lunch – The Peckham Boot Gang sit next to Nikki and Caroline. They ask Caroline what she’s in for.

Maxi: Must be something real cool, if Nikki is giving you the time of day.
Caroline tells her embezzlement story. Maxi says she can believe Caroline knows how to be deceptive. What? The other Peckham girls don’t get it either.

The library – I guess it’s nighttime now (there was another exterior shot to help us pass the time). Nikki is finding a book for Caroline. It’s Blake – Nikki knows that poetry is the way to get the girls – but Caroline is distracted.

Nikki: You all right? Caroline: It’s that Maxi. Nikki: Don’t let her get to you. It’s exactly what she wants. Caroline: I know. Nikki: She’s a creep. They all are. Don’t let them wind you up. Caroline: I feel safe when I’m with you. Nikki: You’re the one that got that knife off them. Caroline: I only did it to get your attention.
That’s all the encouragement Nikki needs: She puts down the book and leans in for a kiss. What is about the library? So much lesbionic energy there. But it gets interrupted as usual: The door opens. Guess who it is? It’s just like Thomas bursting in on Helen and Nikki, only there was no actual kissing that time. (But there was way more chemistry.) Nikki and Caroline pull away from each other and try to look nonchalant. Actually, Nikki looks half embarrassed, half amused.
Helen: Nikki, can I have a word, please.
Oh, like she can say no to the Governor! I doubt she wants to get Rule 43 thrown at her again.

The two Julies’ cell – Yvonne wants to know where the party is. The Julies say there isn’t one, but Yvonne opens the door again to reveal that she has brought the party along with her: friends, a cake and Fenner’s secret bottle of whisky (that was Babs’ contribution). Awww.

The library of angst – Caroline has left the library so that Nikki and Helen can have a chat among the romantic poets.

Helen: What is going on? Nikki: I’d have thought that was blindingly obvious. Helen: Nikki, you should be concentrating on your appeal, not fooling around like this. It could get you into seerrrious trouble. Nikki: And fooling around with you wouldn’t?
Woo, nice one!
Helen: I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.
Snicker. It’s like she’s the high school principal – a petty tyrant.
Nikki: Sorry if I’m being a bit thick here, Miss, but I thought you said you didn’t want any more to do with me? Helen: I’m still in charge of your welfare, whether I like it or not. Nikki: We wouldn’t be just a teeny bit jealous, would we, by any chance? Helen: Is that why you’re doing this? Nikki: Oh, yeah. Quick snog in an empty library. Just the way to flaunt it. If anything’s going on, it’s you stalking me. Helen: Don’t be ridiculous.
I know you are, but what is she?
Nikki: Look, you’ve made it clear you don’t give a s— about me. Fine. So how I feel has nothing to do with you anymore.
Helen looks genuinely sad. I think she probably still gives more than a s—.

Nikki asks to be dismissed and Helen lets her go. But then she stops her.

Helen: Nikki. Nikki: [as Helen just stares] Well? Helen: Be careful. Nikki: What? Helen: You heard.
The music and the mood and the looks on their faces … for a moment, it all seems possible again. Even though Helen is being cryptic and frustrating. The minute Nikki gets back to the common area, Caroline wants an update. Nikki plays it off as some generic concerns about prisoner hanky-panky.
Caroline: So am I in trouble? Nikki: No, no, it’s me who gets my knuckles rapped for leading you astray. If only she knew. Anyway. Let’s forget about her. I’ve heard there’s a party tonight. Do you fancy it? Caroline: Yeah. That’d be great.
Maxi watches all of this with that carnivorous look on her face.

But the faces of the partygoers in the two Julies’ cell are welcoming and friendly. Everyone teases them when Nikki says she just had to “pop down the library with Caroline.” And after the party, the two Julies ask Nikki about her new friend and encourage her. They’re such sweethearts.

Elsewhere, Helen stops Hollamby and goes over some “reallocations” with her – she’s planning to transfer a few people off G Wing in order to reduce workload. Yeah, right. Guess who’s on the list? One Caroline Lewis.

Heartache – Julie S. finally tells Julie J. about her plans to explore the prospect of reuniting with Trevor. Julie J. doesn’t take it very well.

Julie J.: But what about all our plans? Cottage in the country! No men!
We all have our dreams, Ju.

More heartache – Nikki is flirting with Caroline again.

Nikki: You coming to do another drawing of my bedding plants today? [noticing Caroline’s sad face] What’s wrong? Caroline: I’m being shipped out. Nikki: What?! Caroline: Something to do with overcrowding. Miss Stewart’s orders.
So Nikki goes right to Miss Stewart. Since when can an inmate waltz up to the Governing Gov’s office?
Nikki: You just can’t bear to see me happy, can you? Helen: You are way off. Nikki: Why can’t you just admit you’re jealous? Helen: I don’t have to explain myself. Nikki: ‘Cause you haven’t got the balls, that’s why. You’re like a big kid. You don’t want the toy, and you don’t want anyone else to have it either. Is this how it’s gonna be? Every time I meet someone I like, they get moved out? Helen: I won’t be responsible for that when your wing governor gets back. Nikki: Betts wouldn’t have done this. Helen: Look, Nikki. I’ve got no more to say on the matter. Nikki: And that’s what you always do, Helen, isn’t it? You play the power game on me. Have you ever considered therapy? Christ knows you need it!
Whoa. If they’re both going to insist on being this nasty, who am I supposed to root for? Wait up, Caroline!

After Nikki leaves, Helen sighs and leans back in her chair, shaking her head. Yep, that Wade still gets to ya, doesn’t she?

Wrapping things up – The two Julies are glum and silent as Hollamby and Gina process them for departure. Hollamby says they look like they’re going to prison, not leaving it. It doesn’t exactly get better when Julie S. claims the last of her possessions – a bunch of condoms. Julie J. is a lot better at expressing her jealousy than Helen is – and the Julies aren’t even a couple!

Speaking of couples, Thomas and Helen are getting ready to go to the conference. The sensitive doctor suggests that they stop for a bite to eat on the way, at a “pub along the river.” Retch.

Inside, Josh tells Caroline to pack her things. Maxi overhears and goes right to Nikki.

Maxi: So, it’s goodbye to your girlfriend then, Wade? That’s a shame, innit? Nikki: You know, you really are gettin’ on my tits. Maxi: It’ll be more of a shame when everyone knows she’s a nonce.
Nikki grabs Maxi and slams her down against a nearby table, but it doesn’t stop Maxi.

Maxi: Does it turn you on, screwin’ a child molester? ‘Cause that’s what she is, isn’t she? Nikki: What? Maxi: Didn’t you know? [to the gathering crowd] Big Queen Nikki here has been shagging a nonce. That’s what Caroline Lewis is in for. Her and her bloke took pictures of kids having sex and sold ’em on the Net. All that embezzlement crap is a load of bollocks to protect her.
And she offers Caroline’s file as proof. As Nikki reads it, the easily provoked prisoners start chanting, “Nonce! Nonce! Kill the nonce!” They all march toward Caroline, so Josh pushes her back into her cell for her own safety and presses the emergency call button. Nikki looks both worried and disgusted. She turns around to see Helen watching too, looking just plain sad and sorry. Wow. That was quite a revelation. I don’t quite understand why it would have meant Nikki’s downfall – it’s not like she knew Caroline was a nonce – but then again, all I know about prison I learned from this show. Which is pretty much the same as not knowing anything, I’ll bet.

A lame ending – The two Julies are on their way to life after Larkhall. Or are they? As Julie S. embraces her son and Julie J. tries to go her own way, some detectives show up. They’re investigating some thefts and a call girl ring, and they’re putting the two Julies right back under arrest. Silly.

NOTE: There will be no Bad Girls recap next week. The next new episode will air Nov. 29 on Logo, with the recap to follow Dec. 3.

NEXT TIME ON BAD GIRLS: Yet another newbie arrives; Al continues to pick on Shaz; Di Barker is back.

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