“South of Nowhere” Recaps: Episode 3.8 “Gay Pride”


Double coupons — Spencer and Paula are loading up the family truckster with groceries when Spence spies a flyer on their car. No, it’s not for Mercury Car Insurance or Chico’s Bail Bonds, it’s for the gay pride parade in West Hollywood. She reads it aloud to Paula who simultaneously purses her lips and grits her teeth in response–which just looks painful.

Spencer says, “We should go.” Paula laughs like it’s a joke, but it’s no joke. And dear, sweet little Spencer pushes back, saying, “Yeah, I want my mom to come to pride with me” and smiles angelically.

She works hard for the money — Paula and Spencer enter their home loaded down with grocery bags and in full squabble mode. Arthur has that pained dad-caught-between-a-mother-and-daughter-at-war expression on his face, the one that just screams, “I’ll rent a single somewhere downtown. Three hots and cot, that’s all I need. Just get me out of here!”

Paula is offended, deeply offended, that after all they’ve “been through” Spencer would accuse her of homophobia.

What they’ve been through? Let’s review: Paula tried to set her up with a guy even though Spencer told her she was gay, she dragged Spencer’s girlfriend out of her bedroom by her hair, and she hired some weird religious wing nut to try to make Spencer straight again. Homophobic? Well I never!

Paula reminds Spencer that she has been oh so “tolerant” of her lesbianism, and Spencer rightly flips out.

Spencer: I don’t’ want to be tolerated. I want to be loved and accepted, which means you need to find a way to go to pride. But how convenient, you have to work!”

Spencer storms out and Paula tries to enlist Arthur to be on her side. But he snaps at her, “We both know this is bigger than some scheduling conflict!” Paula looks wounded and bats her lashes. What have they done to my Mother Superior? Would someone please return her huevos and her weaponry?

When you’re hot, you’re hot — At the loft, Kyla is freaking out (which seems to be the new norm for her) about the big party they are planning to promote the tribute album for her and Ashley’s dad. Oh yeah, and the party that celebrates Madison becoming one of Justin Timberlake‘s new dancers (which is so totally cooler than the stupid album).

Kyla is worried about the masses that are about to descend on them at Ego, and Creepy Sex Blogger Jake tells her smarmily (is that a word?), “That’s the price of being white hot baby, you gotta enjoy it. Just wait til after the press conference and we will get you something to help you mellow out.” Something tells me that he ain’t talking about chamomile tea. Maybe there is an actual reason (aside from lack of continuity) for Kyla’s recent behavioral weirdness.

Glen is on the phone with Clive Davis (whose idea was that?) and Jake quickly takes the phone away from him and begins schmoozing. Glen, always thinking, wants to know if Clive Davis has any “hot, rich daughters that might want to sugar mama me.” And I have newfound love for Glen because he just used the term “sugar mama” as a verb.

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