TV

Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (Sept. 14, 2007)

As faithful BLWE readers are well aware, it’s usually a struggle to find enough lesbian/bi entertainment news to write about in this column each week. But this week there’s almost too much to cover: Cashmere Mafia scoop! Leisha Hailey goodness! Sarah Paulson news! Tila Tequila‘s bisexual train wreck dating show! Plus Ellen‘s talk show gets gayer, there’s L Word casting news, Iyari Limon resurfaces, HBO features a cute lesbian couple, Sarah Bettens speaks out, and the AfterElton.com guys do a funny riff on Jodie Foster. There are even fun new lesbian books!

It’s an embarrassment of riches, so please forgive the length of this week’s column as I revel in it. Rest assured, we’ll no doubt return to our regularly scheduled dearth of lesbian entertainment news next week.

CASHMERE MAFIA INFILTRATED BY THE LESBIAN MAFIA There are still two months to go until ABC’s Cashmere Mafia debuts on Nov. 27th … and I’ve got some news that will make the wait seem even longer! An AfterEllen.com. reader connected to the show sent me a rundown of the retooled pilot, which recently finished filming, and the good news is **spoiler alert** not only does the lesbian story line remain, it’s actually getting fleshed out even more to provide some back story.

Creator Kevin Wade told us he was going to do this when we spoke with him at the TCA Summer Press Tour in August, but I’ll admit, I was skeptical. It’s just so unlike broadcast network television to upsize a lesbian character’s role – we’re usually lucky just to escape without getting killed off. But so far, Kevin appears to be a man of his word.

Here are a few screencaps of the first kiss between Caitlin (Bonnie Somerville) and Alicia (Lourdes Benedicto) in the pilot: Cashmere Insider (as I have now nicknamed our in-the-know AE reader) sent us even more good news **spoiler alert again**: The second episode, which is being filmed now, is chock full of “Calicia” (as I am now nicknaming the Caitlin-Alicia pairing – you heard it here first!), including dirty dancing, more kissing and the requisite coming-out angst when Caitlin runs into an old boyfriend while she’s out on a date with Alicia.

Plus, Caitlin comes out to her three friends (played by Frances O’Connor, Miranda Otto and Lucy Liu), and two of the three admit to having had same-sex dalliances of their own. I won’t tell you which ones, but I will quote what one of the women says when confessing to a previous lesbian experience (note: this may get cut or changed when they’re shooting): “I went to Wellesley; it’s practically part of the curriculum.” As a Wellesley grad myself, I should protest that overgeneralization – but I won’t. It’s too funny. And a tiny, little bit true.

Think you know which character said that? Leave your guesses in the comments, and I’ll put the answer in the comments on Monday. And stay tuned for more Cashmere info as we get it.

DIVA ALERT! Leisha Hailey graces the cover of the October issue of U.K. lesbian magazine Diva with an in-depth interview about her role on The L Word, her new band, Uh Huh Her, and her personal life. And there are hot new photos of her! Best photo caption? The one on the bottom right corner, below, saying that Leisha “topped AfterEllen.com’s 100 Hottest Lesbian Pin-Ups,” which must be the British translation of “Hot 100 List.” I like it! You know what they say: Everything sounds better with a British accent. Best quote from Leisha in the interview? “Being with my girlfriend [Nina] is like being with a hot Willy Wonka, and I’m Charlie walking through her world.” That’s a pretty great way to describe your girlfriend after seven years together. Hell, after any years together.

But I can do her one better. After nine years together, being with my girlfriend [Lori] is like wandering through fields of candy-coated grass, falling into the chocolate river, and then getting fished out by an Oompa Loompa just before being sucked through a narrow pipe … OK, somehow this analogy went terribly awry. But Leisha made it look so easy…

AND THEY DON’T MEAN “SISTER” IN A TRASHY LESBIAN MOVIE KIND OF WAY. UNFORTUNATELY. AE reader feclicityhfan alerted me to the news that out actress Sarah Paulson will guest-star as the sister of Felicity Huffman‘s character on the upcoming season of Desperate Housewives. Good casting choice: Sarah and Felicity certainly look like they could be related, and their real-life friendship should help, because they clearly have a lot of chemistry. A lot. I know they’re just friends, but it’s really hard not to read into that body language.

Damn, now I’ll have to start watching that show again.

MAYBE SHE SHOULD JUST STICK TO BOXING Dutch boxer-turned-actress Lucia Rijker, who appeared briefly in The L Word‘s second season as Dana’s trainer, has been cast in six episodes of the new season as Dusty, a potential love interest for Helena (Rachel Shelley), according to a new interview with Rijker in Dutch newspaper Algemeen Dagblad. Here’s what Ms. Rijker had to say about the role (thanks to AfterEllen.com readers Juanita and Nynke for the tips, and Juanita for the translation!):

I didn’t have to do auditions, but was asked. And for such a popular show. So that’s something you just do. Even though I was scared doing it. Especially the romantic scenes with another woman. In the beginning you think: Oh hell no, don’t bother. But I always want to shift my boundaries, experience everything. So I just do it.
Hey Lucia, do you hear that? That’s the sound of a million lesbians going “Oh hell no!” to you saying “Oh hell no!”. And not because they all fancy Helena, but because it’s 2007, and we don’t have to put up with that crap anymore.

There are plenty of straight actresses who would kill to play that part and not consider it such a sacrifice. If you actually said this (and it wasn’t just made up by the newspaper), you’re not going to gain any lesbian fans by playing this role and badmouthing it at the same time – you can’t have your Helena cake and eat it too.

SARAH BETTENS MEETS THE DARK SIDE OF SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY Musician Sarah Bettens recently hosted Logo’s music show NewNowNext, and we snagged a few clips of her talking about coming out and being openly gay in the South. If it’s any consolation, Sarah, I’d let my kid play at your house any day (if I had one).

MTV’S BISEXUAL DATING SHOW IS TRASHY? I’M SHOCKED. SHOCKED! The news about MTV’s new bisexual dating show A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila was revealed after BLWE went to press last Friday, so Karman wrote a (very funny) blog post about it on Friday afternoon instead.

The gist of it is this: MTV fooled a bunch of lesbians and straight men into competing against each other Bachelor-style to win the affections of one Miss Tila Tequila (real name: Tila Nguyen), the bisexual queen of MySpace (with over 2 million “friends”) who is also a singer, model, fashion designer, online casino owner and soon-to-be reality TV star (more background on her here).

I can’t bring any more snark to this news than Karman already did, so I thought I’d just highlight some of your responses to the post, which were almost as amusing as Karman’s commentary:

WILL I BE STRAIGHT OR LESBIAN IN THE END? Yes… because THAT’S what bisexuality is all about. (Sparkfire)

…her fake last name is Tequila! How could you not want to watch the show knowing that? (dypole)

Eww…I feel like I just caught a disease just looking at her picture! I can’t even picture the reject level of the lesbians that would try to date this skank. I hope the entire lot of them walk off the show the minute they are introduced to their blow up doll of a potential paramour. (KineticStillness)

ooo this sounds majorly skantastic and horrible. so you know what that means? i’m gonna watch it. for the same reason i watch flavor of love and i love new york because it’s the most entertaining garbage that i can’t stop watching. someone…please help me stop, it’s like a disease that has taken over my body that i cant find the cure for…but i don’t really want to either. *sits and waits for i love new york 2* (Shiznortizny)

I’m already embarrassed for everyone involved. (Nea)

This is an ultimate straight male’s fantasy of a bisexual woman: a skanky blow-up doll. I think this show is gonna perpetuate the bi stereotype as much as mainstream movies with psycho/suicidal lesbians. (Betty)

I don’t know anything you don’t about this girl. I like her personality though. I am all for skanks. They are needed in this world to counteract the prudes…If she was a full blown lesbian would she still get bashed the way she is? And please don’t tell me no lesbians go around looking like Tila Tequila because all one has to do is take a trip down to West Hollywood on a Friday night and you will see them live and in person. Wholesome girls are boring, IMO. (Koo)

Tila Tequila isn’t ugly but the fact that everything about her screams I’ve been around the block way too many times makes her unattractive and her comments about her show aren’t saying much for her personality as well. I duno but personally I like a girl with just a lil bit of I don’t know. ~naturalness~ about her, and that she is lacking dearly (XxMuahzxX)

I’ll eat a whole scotch-bonnet pepper if she ends up with a woman. Mustn’t pop the delicate egos of the straight male audience, after all. And colour me a tad suspicious of the “freshly out of the closet” designator as anything other than a marketing ploy, or a fashion-statement. She’ll end up with a guy, if not now, but whenever she realises the reality of being queer …. The person that came up with the idea for this show should be taken out back and shot. Repeatedly. (Sarah in Chicago)

I don’t know about being taken out back and shot, but the show at least deserves the AfterEllen.com recap treatment. Karman will be recapping the show, and Malinda’s going to vlog about it in her new women-of-color video blog that will launch at the end of this month (because yes, Tila’s Asian – and I’m sure Malinda will have lots to say about that, too).

Meanwhile, Tila’s would-be suitors may want to watch this music video first:  

I’ll say one thing for the woman – she’s got spirit!

The show will make its first drunken pass at us on Oct. 9th.

WHAT, NO SARAHS ON THE LIST? OUTRAGEOUS! The Advocate‘s current issue celebrates “40 Years, 40 Heroes,” with a cover that asks, “Who’s number 1?” Hmm, I wonder … (Hint: Our website is not called AfterEllen.com for nothing.) Other entertainment-related lesbian and bi women who made the list include all the usual first-namers: Rosie, Martina, Billie Jean, Melissa, etc.

Speaking of Ellen, something must be in the water at her studio. Last week, she kicked off the new season of The Ellen DeGeneres Show by challenging Hillary Clinton on her gay marriage stance, and this week, in one episode she brought up the Larry Craig controversy and went into the audience to get opinions.

In another episode, Ellen mentioned getting an iPhone from Steve Jobs, and then Portia taking it from her right away because Ellen doesn’t know how to use anything that’s technical. Ellen then went on to list everything that now comes to bed with them: the dogs, the cats, the iPhone and mama. I hope by “mama” she’s referring to herself or Portia, not Betty, because the kissing-lesbian-sisters stereotype is bad enough. (Thanks to AE reader Pyewacket for the rundown!)

Then yesterday, Ellen and guest Neil Patrick Harris had a discussion about bringing dates to award shows, and AfterElton.com kindly let me crib the transcript:

Ellen: And who are you going with? Neil Patrick Harris: My boyfriend, David. Ellen: That’s great, this is the first time that you can actually … did you go together before and walk in separately? Or how did you do that? NPH: [grimaces] Yeeeeeeeah, I don’t know. Yeah. We would arrive together and he went ahead and I did the photos. It wasn’t this [makes head movement as if dodging] sneaky thing that we were trying to play. He’s an actor in his own right. I like to be there for work and am not really as a political kind of guy. But now we can smile together. Ellen: That’s great. I think that’s great. [Audience cheers, NPH smiles] NPH: How did you do that? Was that weird for you? Ellen: I don’t look at it as a political thing. Because … and I also didn’t hide it as well. But I would go and my girlfriend would go in separately and I would be taking pictures alone. I look at it as, whoever you go with … you go with your spouse or your husband or your wife, or your boyfriend or your girlfriend. So for me, I’m just happy I get to walk down with Portia and take pictures and not look at it as anything to be ashamed of. NPH: Absolutely. Ellen: It’s still about work. I’m taking someone that – NPH: Your date. Ellen: … I’m with.
Hmm, it’s almost like Ellen’s stepping up to fill the gap Rosie left when she departed The View, minus the arguments with Elisabeth Hasselbeck. I like it!

ITTY BITTY OPENING WEEKEND Itty Bitty Titty Committee opens in a single theater in Los Angeles on Sept. 28 – Laemmle’s Sunset 5 on Sunset Blvd. in West Hollywood – and tickets are only available online. Here’s the full schedule for opening weekend, complete with the name of the cast member or director who will be attending, so you can choose the woman time you like best:

Friday, Sept. 28 – 12:45 p.m., TBD; 3 p.m. and 5:20 p.m., Nicole Vicius; 7:40 p.m. and 10 p.m., Carly Pope Saturday, Sept. 29 – 12:45 p.m., Jamie Babbit and Nicole Vicius; 3 p.m. and 5:20 p.m., Leslie Grossman (Mary Cherry, people!); 7:40 p.m. and 10 p.m., Jenny Shimizu and Daniela Sea Sunday, Sept. 30 – 12:45 p.m. and 3 p.m., Jamie Babbit; 5:20 p.m. and 7:40 p.m., Guinevere Turner and Lauren Mollica; 10 p.m., Guinevere Turner

Los Angeles readers: You need to buy a ticket for opening weekend so the movie will get broader distribution across the country. Consider it your lesbian civic duty!

KATIE AND BROOKE TELL ME YOU LOVE ME As a way to promote their new drama Tell Me You Love Me, which co-stars Profiler‘s Ally Walker and explores three couples at various stages in their relationship, HBO has filmed several real-life couples talking about the episode, including a lesbian couple named Katie and Brooke (thanks to AE reader Platinum for the tip!).

It’s a brilliant marketing tactic, and it’s interesting to watch the real-life couples talk about their own relationship while dissecting the episode. Watch Katie and Brooke here:

I like these two; they’re very cute together! But I wonder: Who’s the Willy Wonka in their relationship, and who’s the Charlie Bucket?

IYARI’S ENGAGEMENT Openly bisexual actress Iyari Limon, who played vampire slayer Kennedy in Buffy, co-stars in the horror film Death by Engagement, about a cursed engagement ring that brings death to any woman who wears it. No, I’m not making that up. I’m not a horror movie fan, but I love the poster, which unintentionally reads like a parody of a lesbian recruiting ad: Engagement writer/director Phil Creager tells me: “During shooting Iyari was giving and real, and even helped us out of a jam when we fell behind schedule. I adore her.” I’m not surprised – Iyari was a class act every time I talked to her, both when she was playing a lesbian on TV, and then when she came out as bisexual in real life. You can check out her new movie on DVD on Oct. 2nd.

Oh, and Iyari has some news on the personal front, too: She and her boyfriend are expecting a baby any day now (she split with girlfriend Sandra last year).

Back to Death by Engagement: This is just begging to be Photoshopped into a lesbian movie poster. OK, AfterEllen.com readers, who’s gonna take it on? Send us your best efforts ([email protected]) and if we get at least two or three good ones, we’ll put them up on the blog, just for fun.

NO, IT’S NOT A LINDSAY LOHAN BIOGRAPHY Rosie’s book Celebrity Detox (The Fame Game) isn’t coming out until Oct. 2, but it’s already getting a lot of press.

Here’s the publisher’s official description:

CELEBRITY DETOX is Rosie’s story of the years after she walked away from her top-rated TV show in 2002, and her reasons for going back on the air in 2006. In it, she takes you inside the world of talk show TV, speaking candidly about the conflicts and challenges she faced as co-host on ABC’s The View. Along the way Rosie shows us how fame becomes addiction and explores whether or not it’s possible for an addict to safely, and sanely, return to the spotlight.

Chronicling the ups and downs of “the fame game,” Rosie O’Donnell illuminates not only what it’s like to be a celebrity, but also what it’s like to be a mother, a daughter, a leader, a friend, a sister, a wife…in short, a human being.

But Rosie recently complained about the book on her blog: “So i just got my first hard copy of my new book CELEBRITY DETOX there on the front flap in print ‘when rosie odonnells (sic) mother was diagnosed with cancer in 1968, ten year old rosie thought fame could cure her,’ i was born in 1962 my mother was diagnosed in 1973 WTF!” (There’s also some controversy over her comments about Barbara Walters in the book, though Barbara insists they’re still good friends.)

Rosie’s already at work on her next book: Celebrity Haiku (WTF!).

IT’S LIKE A FUNNY HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK, BUT WITH ITALIAN-AMERICAN LESBIANS AND NO AGE DIFFERENCE Recently I picked up the lesbian novel Greetings from Jamaica, Wish You Were Queer, by Mari Sangiovanni, and was immediately annoyed when the book jacket warned, “this book may make you laugh out loud in public.” I’m always suspicious of books that say something like that, but damn if I didn’t actually laugh out loud while reading it – several times, in fact. I hate it when the anonymous book blurb writers are right!

The gist of the plot is this: An Italian-American lesbian named Marie, who’s just coming off a bad relationship with a cheating ex, inherits millions from her grandmother, takes her family to Jamaica to celebrate, and falls in love with a well-known American actress who’s also vacationing there.

Much drama and comedic misunderstanding ensues when the actress mistakes Marie for a stalker, and Marie’s family meddles in her affairs (when they’re not trying to get their hands on her money). My favorite character is actually her brother and staunchest ally, Vince, who constantly tries to come up with new and different lesbian jokes to tease her with. If you’re looking for a funny, well-written novel to help you forget that summer’s over already, definitely give this a try!

According to Mari, there are three production companies looking at turning the book into a movie, which she’s pitching as “a My Big Fat Greek Wedding, only with Italians, set in Jamaica, with a couple of lesbians thrown in!”

Gotta love Hollywood and their fondness for how something is just like something else, but different! Read more about the author and the book at greetingsfromjamaica.com.

THE MUCH-HYPED ONE Scribe Grrrl’s review of Jodie Foster‘s new movie, The Brave One, is up today (which means Scribe’s Bad Girls recap will be posted on Monday), and Lori and I will be posting our vlog review of The Brave One on Sunday evening as this week’s edition of She Made Me Watch This, along with a discussion of our other favorite (and least favorite) moments in Jodie’s cinematic career.

But if you want even more on the topic, our friends Brent and Michael over at AfterElton.com have done a very funny Jodie Foster/closeted gay celebrities edition of their weekly video blog, Two Gay Guys, that I’m putting here for your viewing enjoyment: “You still wake up sometimes, don’t you Jodie? You still wake sometimes and hear the screaming of the fans.” Hee. I love those guys.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! The Miami Herald has more about the recent anti-gay attack on Top Chef‘s Josie Smith-Malave.

Ani DiFranco released a new album this week.

Attention Torchwood fans: AfterElton.com has a new weekly vlog of the show called Torchwood Talk. No lesbians in it (the show or the vlog), but there is a nice discussion of LGBT characters in sci-fi shows in general. And attention bad machine fans: Our hilarious recapper and We’re Getting Nowhere co-host is currently recapping Torchwood for AfterElton.com, too.

The Gossip has announced that they will cancel their fall tour with the Long Blondes, due to a push back of their live album and DVD, originally scheduled to be released Nov. 16 on Columbia.

Attention Japanese lesbians! The website TokyoWrestling.com is the first (and currently only) international lesbian editorial website in Japan, offering articles and interviews on lesbian and bi-themed movies, books, comics and more in both English and Japanese (including some AfterEllen.com articles translated into Japanese).

Lesley Gore and Jill “I Kissed a Girl” Sobule will be playing in New York’s Central Park on Wednesday, Sept. 19; go to joespub.com for details and tickets.

The Sex and the City movie, co-starring Cynthia Nixon, finally has a release date: May 30, 2008.

The 59th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards Show is this Sunday evening on Fox. There aren’t any lesbians or lesbian characters nominated for anything (save for Ellen’s nod for hosting the Oscars), but there will (probably) be pictures of Ellen and Portia at the event. Look for those, and our live blog of the awards show itself, on the blog Sunday night.

Jennifer Howd and the Princeton Review have just released the Gay and Lesbian Guide to College Life.

A unnamed New York TV production company is looking for gay, lesbian, bi or trans couples about to introduce their significant other to their parents for an upcoming documentary about parents and relationships.

A new season of America’s Next Top Model starts next week, and while we don’t know yet if there are any lesbian or bi contestants, the We’re Getting Nowhere gang is going to vlog the show every week, just in case. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. Look for their first Top Model vlog the Monday after the debut.

Also, two AE readers answered my call for video blogs, and will be vlogging the Showtime series Weeds weekly, complete with cute re-enactments. Look for their first vlog on the blog tonight!

Logo’s group of websites (which includes AfterEllen.com) is now the largest LGBT destination on the web, according to Media Metrix (which is like the Nielsen ratings of the internet), and AfterEllen.com is also now officially the largest lesbian site on the internet according to someone besides my mom (yes, she created an account on AfterEllen.com awhile back to show her support, and so she can PM me when she catches spelling errors in my columns).

As much energy as I, my staff, our freelance writers/bloggers, and our wonderful volunteer moderators put into bringing you the best entertainment news and content we can, the success of our site is largely because of all of you – because you tip us off to people to interview and movies and shows to watch; you suggest new directions for us to go; you let us experiment with new stuff and give us honest feedback; and you (mostly) refrain from flame wars. AfterEllen.com is not the same Little Lesbian Site That Could that it was when I started it over five years ago, but somehow, through all of our combined efforts, we’ve managed to grow it in the right way, and that makes me very happy (and mushy, apparently). So thanks, and keep it up!

That’s it for this week! Check back next week for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

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