The Duggar Family of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting has a lofty purpose in life: to make millions selling the idea of a conservative Christian family—and to keep procreating so the franchise can continue to grace us with sequels indefinitely like a God-fearing, LGBT-rights-hating, pablum version of Nightmare on Elm Street. Recently, the Duggars have brought yet another fellow into the sheepfold. Daughter Jessa Duggar tied the knot with Ben Seewald last week, and the two celebrated by Instagramming their first kiss to their followers.
“First kiss?” you ask. Wouldn’t it make more sense to Instagram the kiss at the altar? For those not in the know, this is the Duggar Family, known for imposing restrictive dating rules on their daughters. Among them is “No kissing (or any other hanky panky)” until one’s wedding day. That’s right, no spit swapping or any other type of fluid swapping until the exchange of vows. Also, no chest-to-chest hugs–only side hugs, and no holding hands until engagement. Well, one thing is for sure–not only will the single Duggar daughters not get Ebola, they will also not get cooties.
The two did not even kiss during the ceremony, because it would be too much for everyone present. As expected, after the ceremony, Jessa and Ben were eager to get to first base. (And if rumors are to be believed, they couldn’t wait to hit a home run and did the deed in an empty room of their church.) If true, I don’t blame them. That’s a lot of waiting in the dugout, and the natural light that comes through church windows is pretty sexy.
But their fans found the Instagram to be a little too racy, and a few of them complained. Because, come on, won’t you think of the children!? Scandaleux! The outcry prompted mommy and daddy Duggar to recreate The Instagram That Shocked The Flock.
Wait, now. What does that last sentence say? “We challenge all married couples to take a happily married picture and post it here.” As written, it is directed to ALL married couples. Not just couples with small ears. Not just couples who are Red Sox fans. Not just Christian reality show stars with an aversion to birth control and limiting their carbon footprints. ALL couples.
This did not go unnoticed among gay bloggers. After all, we fought long and hard for the right to marry, and so in more than 30 states we, too, can post our legally-married selves on social media. First a trickle, and then a stream of rainbow married kisses flooded the official Duggar Facebook kiss thread. But then the photos of happy gay couples started being selectively removed, and the posters of the same-sex kisses were banned.
Now that’s not very nice! A positive note is that most of the comments prior to removal under the same sex couples’ photos have been overwhelmingly supportive. It should be noted that the photo of a lesbian butch-femme couple which FOX cluelessly used to illustrate traditional gender roles in marriage has continued to fly under the radar of the moderators at the time of the publication of this article.
So, ladies. Let’s show them that nothing will win a war against love–and especially if lesbians are on the front lines. Even if all 19 Duggar children are at work taking down photos of gay and lesbian married couples it won’t be a match for us. Again, here is the link to the thread on the official Duggar Facebook page. Have fun!