“The Walking Dead” recap (5.3): Four Walls and a Roof


Two words, guys: Tainted meat. (A new ‘80s Walking Dead cover band?) Anyway, when we begin this episode, we see Bob’s still kicking it around the fire with one-leg and a band of cannibals. The leader is telling him why they kill and roast body parts. Bob watches on as they chew their Bob jerky. Gareth, the leader, is like, “Be glad you’re alive” as he describes the stellar job they did on amputating his leg. That’s when Bob erupts into laughter. He shows them he was bitten. This explains why he was so eager to escape the church and give Sasha one last kiss—maybe he truly was going to end his life to avoid turning and putting anyone in danger. The Terminus leftovers see Bob’s wound and freak out—throwing up their meat, turning on Gareth because he didn’t check Bob. Also, that dude that Tyreese beat is still alive, which is a truly terrible realization. Here I’d thought he’d killed him. That’s another mistake we can now tack on to Rick’s original intention to kill everyone left inside of Terminus. Then, maybe we wouldn’t be here.

Back at Fr. Gabriel’s church, Sasha is out looking for Bob when some walkers sneak up on her. Rick and the others emerge, and help clear the spot. But when they get back inside, Sasha attacks Fr. Gabriel, asking him if he knows what’s going on. It’s time he come clean with his secrets. What was the writing on the wall outside of his church all about? He begins to cry and explains that when everything fell to pieces, his congregation came looking for sanctuary at his church, but he always locked the doors at night, and he locked them out. He buried their bones, but he’s forever damned. Just then, someone notices something outside, someone laying on the ground. It’s Bob! The people of Terminus didn’t kill Bob, even though he told them he’s infected. They dropped him back off like they just took him out on a date for some reason—but why? He’s going to tell everyone about what happened. And he does. The look on Sasha’s face is enough to make me cry—she knows she’s about to lose her Bob, he’ll turn any day now.

That’s when Sgt. Abraham steps in to explain that he needs to “extract” Dr. Porter’s “ass” to Washington, D.C. as soon as possible because there’s a major threat here now. Rick says they can’t leave because Daryl and Carol (why am I just now laughing about how perfectly they rhyme together?) will be back. Abraham has his best angry voice on and he’s like, “NO!” Everyone starts fighting, but Glenn breaks it up because Glenn is the best. Tara offers she’ll go with them if they wait another day.


Abraham raises the stakes and says the deal’s on if Glenn and Maggie go with, too. But Rick is like, “NO!” And that’s when Abraham decides he’s not about this game anymore, so he tells Dr. Porter it’s to time hit the road, and Dr. Porter sits there wounding his achy breaky heart, with his mullet looking the finest it’s looked in days, saying he doesn’t want to go.


Well, someone make a decision? Get Bob that couch to sleep on and maybe discuss what you think the best method is here for getting those Terminus mother fuckers. My worry is that Rick is ready to go over the river and through the woods to the pretty little elementary school where they were last spotted, only to be lured into their trap. These are hunters! They’ve already shown their weapon. We know they are freaky. They have a hankering for human meat, and they’ll stop at nothing to make sure that even though this little Terminus gig of theirs started out totally differently, that they don’t dare turn back into rational, compassionate human beings.