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“The Fosters” recap (2.9): Toot My Own Horn

Previously on The Fosters, Brandon and Lou debated whether love is utter codswallop and nearly sealed their disagreement with a kiss. Stef got a letter from Ana and generally tried not to screw everything up while Lena was camping in the woods with the Judicorn Scouts. Mariana and Hayley cooked dinner for Mat and Jesus and then bickered over the soup course like they were already in-laws. Callie took a weekend trip to Girls United and helped Rosie pull Becca from a burning building because she’s a freaking superhero (and hadn’t crossed “surviving a house fire” off her “Worst Things That Can Happen To You” bingo board).

Mariana flips through all of the clothes she owns while Callie looks on wearing her one pair of jeans, jacket, and one of three shirts. She wants to look good but not slutty, comfortable but not sloppy, like she cares but, you know, not too much. Being a girl is hard, yo.

Down in the kitchen, Stef is getting ready to go to her extra shift as a security guard. Lena’s not around so what’s the point of staying home? She offers to stick around if Callie is still a little shaken from that inferno at Girls United. Callie’s good though because she has therapy and what’s one more tragic life event in the grand scheme of things. Jesus is keen to know just exactly how long Stef and the gang will be out of the house because he has a paper to write and we all know how serious he is about his academics. Stef asks if he is planning on having another rager. After Brandon picks his jaw off the table he says he is going to a thing with Lou and Stef suggests he takes Callie. Dates are always better with your almost adopted foster sister who you made out with a few months ago.

Mariana bounces in and asks when Lena and Jude will be back. Stef tells them that Lena is doing better after her time in the bush (not a euphemism) but that they all need to be extra sweet when she comes home because losing a baby is hard. Well, she heard it’s hard because she’s certainly not hiding any feelings beneath her uniform and her extra shift. Before she leaves she tells Brandon to take a dish back to Mike’s. The kids all wonder how Mike is doing after his break-up with Dani which was so sudden and unexpected. Brandon mumbles something before sprinting for the door with the tainted lasagna pan.

Brandon hands Mike the dish and Mike is like, “Well I’d invite you in but right now I have Ana hiding in the back room.” Brandon says, “Cool, I actually would like to be anywhere but here.” After he leaves, Ana pops out of the back room like some sort of horrible jack in the box. She and Mike are doing AA the homeschooled way. They are making a list and checking it twice for all the folks they need to make amends to.

Mariana and Mat are strolling along and Mariana is playing “guess that date” instead of waiting seven seconds to see where they’re going. They end up at a Mexican festival and Mariana does not look pleased. Callie is chatting with her therapist about her panic attacks. The therapist tells her maybe she doesn’t really trust herself because she misjudged Liam. She tells Callie to trust her instincts, no not the one that told you it was a good idea to kiss Brandon or run away or ask Vico to make you a fake ID or take the fall for Brandon or… nevermind.

Back at home, Jesus leads Hayley to the garage in hopes that returning to the disgusting site of their first hook-up will show her that he really, truly cares. She thought she was getting wined and dined not treated to the strains of Ginuwine and some Yankee Candle remnants Jesus pilfered from his moms. Stef saunters in with a smirk on her face and reminds Jesus that there’s a rule against being alone with girls behind closed doors. He claims it’s not fair because what if he were gay? Well, Jesus, if you were gay, it would be okay. He grumbles and leaves with Hayley. No worries, Sparky, your mom will get the rest of the candles, you pyro.

Brandon meets Lou at the festival and Callie apologizes for crashing. No worries, the hair model appears to make this a double date. Callie challenges Wyatt to see who can eat the most. Wyatt, you are not going to meet another girl this great. I sure hope you don’t screw it up (you know, by the end of the episode).

Mat asks Mariana if she likes Frida Kahlo and she says, “Fried calamari isn’t really my thing.” When he tries to explain that Frida Kahlo is an internationally known artist Mariana snaps that she didn’t grow up in a latin household. But you grew up with lesbians, you should know about Kahlo.

Callie can’t find Wyatt for his next round of “Stuff Your Face.” When she can’t find him she starts to panic. He shows up and she explains about her panic attacks. He’s glad that she trust him, but not so glad that he won’t trash talk about their food challenge. They go meatball to meatball and chase it with a tamale. God I hope this doesn’t end like the pie eating contest in Stand By Me. When they walk away we catch our first glimpse of Liam lurking in the crowd.

Stef is sitting on her bed, Skyping with Lena (but not in a sexy way). Lena gives Stef permission to grieve for Frankie instead of just looking out for everyone else. Instead, Stef walks into the bathroom and decides to fix something tangible, like a leaky pipe. She can see where that’s broken.

Hayley and Jesus are walking around the fair and she can hardly believe how thoughtful she is. Trust your gut, lady. Lou is wowing Brandon with her knowledge of mariachi music and flirts with him. He can’t handle the flirting so he eats a taco (an actual taco, you pervs!)

Mike and Ana are making their list of amends and simultaneously writing their acceptance speeches for their parent of the year awards. Ana laments the fact that she can’t make amends to Jesus and Mariana because Stef and Lena won’t let her within a thousand feet of their kids. According to Mike’s flawless judgment, the moms are making a mistake.

Mariana and Mat run into Callie and Wyatt. Surprise! the gang’s all here and meeting up at the concert if Wyatt doesn’t toss his cookies first.

Back home, Stef is wearing a toolbelt and fixing that pipe. She is so pleased with herself she videos the pipe, her toolbelt, and her ass while asking Lena if she wants to come home and play with some power tools, too. In the middle of her HGTV peep show, the pipe starts leaking. Stef, let’s hope you’re handier in the bedroom.

Wyatt is hunting down something sweet at the fair when he spots Liam and decides to give chase. Lou and Brandon watch some guy getting a tattoo and Lou takes the opportunity to show Brandon the one on her boob and to mention another one she can’t show him on ABC Family. He says, “How about them Padres, eh?” Either he isn’t into her or he’s clueless. I like to use the term “dumbass” but Lou you say whatever works for you. Before he can explain to Lou the complicated thoughts in his teenage brain, Wyatt shows up and tells Brandon they are going Liam hunting.

Mat is getting antsy so he and Mariana leave Callie to wait for Wyatt so they can go to the concert. Callie looks like she’s going to hurl but maybe it’s just the food this time. Brandon and Wyatt run around trying to find Lima and knocking over the elderly pushing aside small children. They run into Jesus and Hayley and Brandon says “you knew I was coming here, I told you this morning,” and Hayley realizes she should have trusted her gut. He asks what he can do to make her believe he’s a good guy. Watch out, buddy because she knows exactly what to ask you to do.

Back home, Stef is trying to fix the pipe again and instead she knocks a hole through the wall.

On her way back from the bathroom Mariana runs into Mike and Ana. Ana starts telling her that she is clean and that she wrote Stef and Lena but that the moms wouldn’t let her see Jesus and Mariana. Mike tries to get Mariana to come talk with them but Mariana isn’t having any of it. She storms off right past Mat and then yells at him for bringing her to a Mexican street festival just because she’s Mexican. She says this isn’t her culture, she didn’t grow up this way (in spite of the ultra expensive quinceanera).

Wyatt confronts Liam and tells him to leave the festival. Liam says Callie should leave after all she put him through. Then he sings a couple bars of “Blurred Lines” and says he knows Callie wanted it. Wyatt decks him. Brandon tries to break up the fight but when Liam elbows him in the face he loses it and starts pounding on Liam (who needs those piano playing hands after all?). Security breaks it up but Liam takes one look at Callie and says he doesn’t want them to call the cops. Wyatt chases after Callie while Lou talks to Brandon. He tells her that Liam did some bad stuff and she tries to take his hand. He pulls away and tells her that he’s in a bad place and it’s not her fault. Callie tells Wyatt that she needed him to be by her side, not going all rock ’em, sock ’em robots on Liam. Maybe he doesn’t know how to take care of her, after all.

Back in the bathroom Stef is getting hosed by the water until she find the shut off valve. She reaches for some towels and out springs a kiddie towel, the kind with a hood that looks like a lion. The sight of the towel is all it takes to break her apart. The phone rings, it’s Lena who saw the video and called a plumber. Even miles away, Lena knows Stef well enough to know that she’s fixing a pipe because she can’t fix her heart.

It’s funny how you can miss someone even if you’ve never met. It’s strange that our hearts can feel loss for something we never had. Dreams are like that. Maybe you grew up dreaming of being a musician. Until you figure out that you can’t carry a tune to save your life, that dream was delicious, the potential is intoxicating. The same goes for babies. Babies can be the purest form of hope that we ever know. Before they are even born they crack your heart open and allow you to imagine that anything is possible. They can be anything and we, as parents, can be anything too. We never lose our tempers or snap when we should offer kindness. We all start with a clean slate. Stef wasn’t willing to trade Lena for that dream but she was so focused on keeping Lena healthy she forgot to mourn Frankie and the possibilities she took with her. Mourning the loss of something you never really had sounds foolish to the logical mind. But Frankie stole a piece of Stef and no amount of banging and crashing and smart remarks can cover it.

Mike is talking to Stef when Brandon comes home. Mike tends to Brandon’s cut up face and they talk about how being a family means making amends over and over. Stef walks into Callie’s room to talk. Callie says she’s okay but that what good did Wyatt fighting Liam do? Stef tells her, “I got into a fight with a bathroom wall. I know a thing or two about picking fights.” Stef climbs on the bed with her and tells her that they are two peas in a pod, running around trying to be tough when really they need to give themselves the space to fall apart sometimes.

Jesus walks in but quickly scurries away to work on his paper. Stef shakes her head and wonders what she’s going to do with him. He walks into the bathroom and reveals a “Hayley” tattoo on his side. Oh lord, that girl manipulated him into branding himself

Back at the festival Mariana explains to Mat that she doesn’t hate being latin, but that her only connection to being Mexican in through Ana. She hates Ana so much that she couldn’t enjoy the festival because it reminded her of all the things Ana did to hurt her family. Mat tells her about how his dad has never called or written and he would give anything to hear him apologize. Mariana goes back home and tells Stef she wants to meet Ana.

Only one more episode in season 2A!

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