“Defiance” recap (2.02): Hellbug Piñata


Previously on Defiance, Stahma Tarr came out of the closet as the brains behind every delightfully hard-ass thing the Tarr family has done over the years to secure their place as Defiance’s number one top crime family, a revelation that ended with Alak kissing the ring of the queen and Skeever getting his eyeball beaten out of his face. Amanda wore the most form-fitting mourning clothes around town in honor of Kenya while insisting that Kenya is not dead. Also she has taken on two jobs: Chief of Staff to the new mayor (who very much wants her on his staff if you know what I mean and I think you do) and proprietor of the Need/Want. Irisa and Nolan reunited and she got stabby, both for real and for pretend. And Doc Yewell concocted a plan to escape E-Rep jail with Datak, whose main thing these days is he just wants a damn hand job.

Irisia really wants to get back to Defiance. Like really, really. When she and Nolan roll up toward the town and discover that the stasis net is back up and the perimeter is crawling with E-Rep soldiers, she smashes her foot to the gas pedal and nearly gets them gunned down. They survive the shake down at the gate, but Irisia definitely gets tossed in jail for getting mouthy with the E-Rep chief of police called Berlin.

When Nolan swaggers into Mayor Pottinger’s office to demand the release of his daughter, Amanda smiles like Christmas morning. (Back before the nuclear holocaust destroyed all the Christmas trees and the Votan collective shot Santa Claus out of the sky with a long range thermal modulator.) She practically crawls onto his back like a spider-monkey to introduce him to Pottinger, but they’re interrupted by the sound of a shrill bomb going off down in the market. Hilariously, the bomb is stashed inside a pinata that looks like one of those plush Hellbugs Syfy was using to market the show last season. All bright red smiles and cartoon crab claws. Anyway, Nolan and Amanda and Pottinger run down there and it’s a gross mess of exploded people getting eaten up by alien centipedes.

Amanda convinces Pottinger to let Nolan lead the investigation into the bombing and Pottingers says if Nolan can catch the bad guy in 24 hours, Irisa can get out of jail for free.

Also, I should mention the conversation Nolan and Amanda have about her outfit:

Nolan: Holy shtako!

Well said, sir.

defiance202-5GIF from michaelaconlin’s Tumblr

And plus:

Amanda: I’m going to be honest with you. There was always like a 20 percent chance I was going to have the sexes with you, but that chance rocketed up to 100 percent when you showed back up, because my sister is gone and I’ve lost my mayorship and your face is friendly and Stahma is making me feel a lot of confusing things.

Nolan: I just don’t know if I have what it takes to be lawkeeper anymore.

Amanda: We will have the sex after you solve this bomb mystery and are reinstated as lawkeeper.

Nolan: I will be lawkeeper again by sundown.

Nolan bebops on down to the mines to look for shrill and it turns out that one of the miners has been harvesting them and selling them to — you guessed it! — good ol’ One-Eyed Skeever. So Nolan goes over and smashes his face through a window and discovers that a second shrill bomb is hiding out under Stahma’s car.

Yeah, Stahama is not having a very good week. First, Alak gets pouty in the bath because Stahma tells him his business about how he needs to make sure his records are delivered to so-and-so at such-and-such time, because obviously there’s drugs up in there. Stahama’s crawling all over Christie ’cause that’s just how Stahma does it, and Christie is weirded out — which is RIDICULOUS; if Jaime Murray wants to get up next to you in a bath, you don’t push back, ya’ dumbass — so Alak tells her to please chill out, boob-wise. She’s all, “LOL, you kids are so particular about having people in your personal business. Probably comes from not spending 5,000 years on a spaceship.”



GIFs from Swedish Fish Rule

Then, Mayor Pottinger shows up and says he’s shutting down her blue devil business and when she pushes back, he takes her bribe and still tells her to drop off all the blue devil at his office that afternoon. Unless, of course, she wants him to let Datak out of jail. Which is interesting because obviously Stahma wants Datak in jail, but how tricksy that Pottinger also knows.

THEN, she’s just driving down the road and there’s a shrill bomb under her car! It’s supposed to be so suspenseful, but, like, I am so sure they’re ever going to do anything to mess with Jaime Murray’s face. They’ve already dialed back the Castithan makeup like a zillion notches because it’s less “hiding your light under a bushel” and more “hiding the sun under a bushel.” So Nolan pulls her out of the car and disarms the bomb and she gives him to head-curtsies and starts a round of applause for him.

After which Alak comes running home to check on her and she’s like, “Here’s the deal, Sparky, you caused this mess and so you clean it up WITH MURDER.” And so he does. Unlike his dad, who can slit a throat without blinking, Alak pukes so hard once it’s done.

Datak, meanwhile, tries to work his plan of escape which involves goading a religious nut into trying to stab the mayor and then saving the mayor’s life. But it doesn’t work because nothing’s going Datak’s way these days. But while the mayor’s visiting the prison, he does have a little chat with Doc Yewell about: a) her work with biological weapons during the Pale Wars, 2) cutting open Irisa to find out if she has messiah mush inside her, 3) what’s in that locked safe in her office. She demures on all three things, but he knows that she knows stuff, so she can’t be long for this prison camp.

The episode ends with like a straight-up slow-mo ’80s soap opera sex montage for Amanda and Nolan (the camera is way more interested in that cat clock than it is in schtumping) and a slow-mo rage montage of Irisa discovering that Tommy is doing it with E-Rep copper Berlin.

And so now the stage is fully set for season two! (KEEEENNNNYAAAAA, WHHHHEEERE ARRRREEEE YOOOOUUUU?)

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