“The Fosters” recap (2.2): “My milkshake brings all the dads to the yard”


Previously on The Fosters, Brandon lost his ability to do that thing that makes him who he is. And sadly, that didn’t mean mooning over his foster sister and making terrible choices. Callie lost another round of roulette with the foster system and was required to find her deadbeat father before she could join the ranks of the Adams Fosters. Stef’s spidey sense tingled and she ended up finding out that maybe it was her ex-husband who made Jesus and Mariana’s ex-mom and their ex-extortionist disappear forever. Jack McPhee stopped by the Ice House for a milkshake and a little casual stalking of the daughter he gave up (p.s. Jen would be so mad at you).

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Brandon is sitting in the dark staring at the piano with a look he once reserved for Callie. Stef plops down on the couch and reminisces about the time when Brandon used to crawl in bed with her when he couldn’t sleep. As is her way, she wraps her love in sarcasm and teases him about how he used to kick her in the head and elbow Lena in the ribs all night long. He apologizes for his nighttime karate but Stef smiles warmly and says, “I miss the time when we could make you feel safe so easily.” You know, before you spiralled from being annoyingly infatuated with your foster sister to full on felonies. He tells her that his hand is still numb and worries what will happen if he can never play again. She tells him not to give up on his dream ever. I imagine they cut the scene where she calls him Stump and takes him down to the river club to introduce him to Eva Bates’ three-legged dog.

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The next morning, Lena glides down the stairs and finds Stef and Brandon asleep on the couch. Brandon, 16 and still cockblocking like a five-year-old. Lena gives the loveliest smile. I can’t blame her. There isn’t much better than seeing your wife be an incredible mother (it almost makes up for all the clitorference).

It’s a free for all in the Adams Foster dream kitchen and there’s a run on oranges. Jesus is indignant, and Mariana says, “Orange you sad you slept in?” Jesus compares his life to The Hunger Games and Mariana goes all Hermione Granger on his ass with an epic eye roll and says, “Haven’t you read those? They aren’t about produce.” In important news, everyone can make it home for family dinner except for Jude who has a playdate/real date/something confusing with Connor. They are going to the batting cages. Everyone tries not to laugh at the thought of Jude being a secret baseball savant and wish him luck not getting knocked out.

Brandon tells Stef that he is not going to give up on his dreams of being a pianist (go on, you know you giggled last week when Lena called him a pianist) so he wants the risky surgery that might fix his hand or render it totally useless. He’s shown the ability to make excellent choices so why not let him make this one?

Stef is at Mike’s house talking to Mike and Dani. Mike gets up to take a shower and Stef tells Dani she has a question for her. Dani goes, “Oh shit” because she committed a felony involving Brandon. But no, Stef just wants to know about Mike getting bombed and maybe killing Ana. Dani says, “Yeah, he was only sorta drunk and only had the tiniest bit of blood on his hands. But really, if you think he killed someone you should ask Mike. I have my own illegal acts to cover up.”

Fosters 2023

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