“Orange is the New Black” recap (2.3): Hugs Can Be Deceiving

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It’s lights out in Chapman and Soso’s bunk and Soso is sobbing while everyone tries to sleep. Piper reluctantly gets up and attempts to comfort her. Soso, as she is wont to do, starts talking and doesn’t shut up. She rambles about her best friend Meadow, working on an organic farm, and something else. Truthfully, I zoned out the same time Piper did. Piper tells Soso that she cried her first night too, and she’ll get used to the weirdness of prison life soon enough. “Everything ends Brook, even prison,” Piper tells her. “Focus on that.” Brook grabs hold of Piper for a hug, mistaking Piper’s kindness for friendship.

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Larry’s out on an awkward date with a pretty lady, but they are both bored and probably a little tipsy. She asks about Piper, and he’s surprised that he knows about her. Google, Larry. Google. Apparently his father set them up, and gave her the scoop. She’s a pediatric neurosurgeon, and tired of dating guys who are actually accomplishing things. She likes that Larry is kind of lumping it about town. Run Larry! My spidey senses tell me a boat load of control issues await.

We interrupt this date to bring you a gratuitous scene of Nicky fingerbanging a girl with actual bangs in the showers.

Suzanne makes her way into the maintenance room where she tries to get into the outlet where Vee has something stashed. She electrocutes herself at first using her hands so she tries another tactic. She runs the buffing machine right into the outlet and voila! She finds a pack of cigarettes.

In Daya’s bunk, Bennett leaves her a bag of raw spinach under her mattress. What a prince! Daya is like, “I am not a rabbit, you meathead. Get me some vitamins, poppa.” He asks to meet in their special spot later, and she softens.

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Suzanne walks into Vee’s cell but freaks when she sees Piper, so she tosses a toothbrush and runs out. Vee follows her and finds Suzanne hitting herself on the head. When she collects herself, Suzanne tells Vee that Piper hates her, and that Piper is a dangerous person. Kind of like herself. Vee is surprised to hear that Piper intimidates Suzanne. “In my day, the black women ran this place,” Vee tells her. “I say ‘women’ because that’s what we were: Women. Not a bunch of little girls, running around here with bad attitudes.” She tells Suzanne that she sees her, which to a person who wants nothing more than to be seen, is like being given the moon. Suzanne pulls the cigarettes out of her pants, and makes quite the impression on Vee. Vee instructs Suzanne to hold her head up and not let anyone underestimate her again. Even Piper.

We cut again to Nicky doing another lady, this one with a pot leaf on her ass, in the bathroom. Big Boo is standing by, commenting on Nicky’s technique. She suggests one perhaps…in the…never mind. Nicky takes her suggestions with grace, but continues banging in her own style.

Vee wanders into the kitchen to find Gloria, who is in no mood for bullshit. Well, that’s kind of like Gloria’s default. Good thing Vee is only carrying compliments. She tells Gloria that her salsa is the shit, so Gloria decides to listen to what Vee has to say. Vee flashes the cigarettes and inquires about a trade. Gloria nearly salivates at the thought of one of those smokes.

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