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“Orphan Black” recap (2.06): Best Worst Road Trip Ever

Previously on Orphan Black, Leekie agreed to treat Cosima against Rachel’s wishes, Prolethean Gracie tried to kill Helena but Helena escaped, Felix was framed for murder, and Sarah found out Rachel’s father was still alive.

We open in a tent with Sarah and Helena-a sestra camping trip. Helena is eating beans from a can and Sarah is trying to get more information out of her about Cold River, the Place of Screams. Helena won’t give it up, though, because she’s afraid Sarah will abandon her as soon as she doesn’t need her anymore, and Helena will always need her sestra. When it’s Helena’s turn to ask questions, she asks if Sarah thinks she can have babies, like she had Kira. This prompts Sarah to ask her what the Proletheans did to her, a gentleness to her voice she hasn’t had with Helena yet. Helena avoids the question and tells Sarah she’s a good mother. She then seeks to escape the serious conversation the way a child (and I) would and pretends to hear someone outside, only to make shadow puppets. Sarah tries to keep a straight face but can’t help but giggle, and Helena laughs her animalistic laugh. They fall asleep head to toe, mirrors of each other. It turns out Helena very well could have heard someone outside the tent, because Paul is lurking around the campsite. He snoops around Sarah’s truck and finds the picture of “SwanMan.” Remember when Paul was on our side? I miss those days. Dammit, Paul!

The next morning, the Sestra Road Trip continues with a little sing-a-long. Helena loves the song “Sugar Sugar,” because of course she does. Once again, Sarah tries to keep it serious, but falls prey to Helena’s charms as she sings, “You are my candy girl. And you’ve got me wanting you.”

At the DYAD, Delphine checks out Cosima’s injection, and things are looking good. When this news didn’t elicit a single hand motion from Cosima, she asks her science girlfriend what’s wrong. What’s wrong is that Cosima is worried that Sarah is worried about her now, and worried about getting sick herself, or Kira gettings sick, when she had enough to worry about. This is why Cosima is the heart of this operation; she is dying of something they can’t identify that they have no cure for that Sarah, having had a child, is unlikely to get, but Cosima’s still concerned about Sarah’s feelings. Delphine looks at her like she’s more worried about how Cosima navigates this world with her heart so precariously placed on her sleeve and gives her an injection, saying “pauvre petit chiot” (“poor little puppy”) and Cosima responds, “You’re the puppy.” Delphine’s phone rings and Cosima answers it, impersonating Doctor Cormier. Someone is out front to see them, and for reasons I will never understand, when Cosima saw him, she did not say, “Great Scott!” Because standing before them is Scott himself, her lab buddy from school. Doctor Leekie approved his application to be the new sequencing tech, but Cosima certainly did not. She pulls Delphine aside and said they can’t involve him, but Delphine points out that he’s already involved. Cosima still says no and tells Scott she’s sorry, but they’re not hiring. She starts to walk away, and Delphine tries to stop her, but Scott stops them both in their tracks by saying, “I know about the clones.” Meanwhile, poor Alison is still in rehab, stubbornly not participating in group therapy. She says she’s only here for her kids, and that she’s sorry she ruined the play, but that she’s not a real drunk. She’s interrupted by someone coming in late, and that someone is Vic. He spots Alison and she tries, unsuccessfully, to hide her very familiar face. After Group is over, Vic goes up to her and Alison tells him that she’s not Sarah. Vic remembers her from when she maced him in the parking lot and asks if they’re twins or something. Alison tells him that they’re clones, because she is so beyond Over It, but Vic of course thinks she’s just being sassy. He tells her that he thinks the “godhead” sent him to her, that their being together is a sign. Alison does not seem to see things that way.

On the road again, Helena leads Sarah to the church the SwanMan photo was taken at, the last place Duncan was seen. Sarah tells Helena to wait in the car while she goes to have a look. And guess who’s watching this all go down? Dammit, Paul!

Sarah goes into the church and asks the woman lurking there about a picture on the wall that she remembers seeing in Helena’s locker. The woman tells her that it was the Cold River Institute, which was shut down in the ’70s. Sarah shows the woman the picture of Duncan and she recognizes him as Mr. Peckham, who comes by to see the archives. Sarah tells her that she, too, will need to see these archives, because she’s his student. For her thesis! The woman falls for it and leads her down to the bowels of the church.

Outside, Helena gets bored waiting in the car and gets out, Paul’s watchful eye following her to the local bar. She has the bartender line up a bunch of drinks in front of her, because she’s on vacation. With no clones to kill, no Proletheans to marry, she’s free to do as she pleases. A large gentleman tells her to pace herself, so she calls him a goat. He calls her a skank, so she twists his finger. He starts to yell and she tells him, “Don’t be baby.” A guy named Jesse steps in before Helena can tear this man limb from limb and gets the goat man to calm down and go away. Jesse orders some pork rinds and Helena offers him some White Russian in exchange. She probably hadn’t even realized she could order food here. While she’s adorably chomping down, Prolethean Mark slithers in.

At the church across the street, the woman tells Sarah that she wishes they had burned the records, because the contents are beyond disturbing. She leaves her with the pictures, and Sarah soon understands why Helena called it the Place of Screams.

At the DYAD, Scott sciences all over the place, explaining how he figured out that there must be clones. Proud of himself, he asks if he can see a clone. I can’t imagine how this makes Cosima feel. One, surprised he hadn’t figured that out (it’s hard to remember things that are the most obvious to you aren’t so to outsiders) but it was probably another one of those moments she feels more like a science experiment than a human. But also probably a little amused, because she’s Cosima, and asking a clone to see a clone is pretty hilarious. Before Cosima can think of a sassy response, Delphine tells Scott that they need to take things slow. Donnie goes to visit Alison in rehab, and she’s pissed he’s there without the kids. So pissed, she threatens to cut off his balls if she comes back. When did Alison become more terrifying than Helena? Vic approaches the two of them and tells Donnie he should be honored she’s releasing her anger on him, because it’s a sign of healing. Alison is not amused in the slightest.

Back at the Loft, Felix is drinking straight from the bottle and angst-painting when Art shows up. Felix tells him to leave, he’s tired of being used. He says he went from babysitter to bargaining chip and he doesn’t need Sarah sending Art to watch out for him. Art tucks Felix in for a nap on the couch and sets up a Murderboard using all the clues he found in Helena’s locker. Maybe Felix has finally found his place.

At rehab, Alison finds Vic doing yoga and purposefully interrupts by playing some one-handed basketball. She tells Vic that Felix told her all about him, and she doesn’t appreciate the fact that he was abusive to Sarah. Vic admits his faults and says he’s trying to heal and Alison admits she is a bottle hider. They bond in their brokenness and start up a game of basketball.

At the bar, Helena tells Jesse that she was a detective, a brilliant scientist, divorced after rehab drinking problem, and is now with her sestra having adventures. When she started out saying she was a detective hunting bad guys, I thought she was just trying to downplay the “hitman” job, but by the time she got to “scientist” I realized she was weaving together the stories of all her sestras. He asks her how to keep such a complicated creature in a place like this, and she tells him he would have to be strong. So they arm-wrestle. Sarah calls Cosima to fill her in on what she’s learning in the basement of the church, about the failed experiments and how horrible it all is. Cosima says no scientists know what they’re doing, really, they’re just poking at things with sticks. Or needles, as the case may be. Sarah laughs, grateful for Cosima’s comedic relief, then gets serious: “Are you gonna be alright?” Cosima takes a breath. Of course she’ll be alright. She tells her about the tests they just started, says they look promising, sounding more sure than she feels. Sarah tells her that she can’t do this without her. Cosima smiles, moved, and says, “Obviously. I’m the geek monkey.” They smile sad smiles at each other through the phone and Sarah says they’re getting Alison out of rehab when she gets back. Cosima agrees-they’re stronger together. At the bar, Helena is on a roll, beating Jesse at arm wrestling. He tries to distract her with compliments, but Helena beats him again anyway. Jesse realizes he’s playing a losing game, so he asks Helena to dance. They start to slow dance as the song perfectly croons, “Crazy, that’s what they tell me. No one’s heard a word I’ve said.”

Paul sidles up to Prolethean Mark in the back of the bar and tells him that he’s pretty good at being sleuthy. They talk about Helena and Sarah and Paul tells Mark that Helena isn’t worth dying for. Mark asks him if Sarah is, but Paul looks like maybe she is. They agree to each take their clone and go their separate ways.

Helena’s eyes get a little misty, though whether it’s from the feeling of being in someone’s arms or from the booze we’ll never know. Jesse kisses her and she kisses him back, erratic, unbridled. The big guy who called her a skank cuts in and Helena is suddenly on top of him trying to poke his eyes out with her thumbs, sending anyone who approaches flying across the room without so much as looking up.

Paul wishes Mark good luck and takes this as his cue to leave.

When Sarah tells the woman at the church that she noticed some stuff was missing, she tells her that a woman named Margaret had also been by to take things, and Sarah realizes Maggie Chen got this far before she was killed.

Helena is being hauled away by the police, saying she wants her boyfriend, when she catches Sarah’s eye as she leaves the church. It hits her then, that Sarah wouldn’t approve of this bar fight, that she might have just ruined the sestra road trip. At the police station, Helena keeps asking for her boyfriend, but a police officer tells her that no one is pressing charges. She says her sister is here, and Helena perks up. But it’s not Sarah-it’s Gracie, looking like the word “sister” made her want to vomit. Helena recognizes the wounds around Gracie’s mouth and tells her that she had her mouth sewn shut and that it will heal. Gracie tells Helena that her sestra isn’t coming back for her. Helena asks if they took her babies from inside of her and Gracie explains that they took her eggs and that her father made them whole. Helena asks why and Gracie says that Henrik sees something beautiful in her, but it’s clear to Helena that Gracie doesn’t. Helena realizes she can have babies the same way she was made and follows her out to Mark, who hands her Jesse’s hat. Without Sarah there to stop her, she goes with them, saying, “Take me to my babies.”

At the DYAD, Delphine finds Scott working and asks if he needs anything. He doesn’t, he just needs her to know that they can trust him. Oh also he found something interesting: the stem cells they’re using to treat Cosima aren’t from the clone cells, they’re from a female relative, a niece or a daughter. This is news to Delphine, but she immediately tells Scott that he cannot, under any circumstances, breathe a word of this to Cosima. If they’re using Kira to treat her, she will absolutely not agree to continue, and Delphine needs her to get better. She needs her, period.

Alison catches up with Vic at rehab, who was heading outside for a cigarette, and asks him if he would want to do some arts and crafts with her later. Since he doesn’t know about her Craft Room Torture Chamber, he agrees, and steps outside. And right into the car of Bitchface Ladycop. She is bribing him to spy on Alison. As if she didn’t have enough monitors to begin with.

Art sends Sarah Peckham’s address, but when she shows up at the house, Mrs. S answers the door. With a gun. Sarah is actually glad to see her in that she can finally yell at her. She is pissed that Mrs. S knew about the clones her whole life, that she had done nothing but lie to her all her life. Sarah asks where Duncan is but Mrs. S says that his name has been Peckham ever since he came over “to our side” (whoever’s side that is) and they hid him in exchange for information about the experiment and the children and the surrogate who got away.

Mrs. S takes Sarah into the kitchen where a man is fussing over some birds. Mrs. S introduces her as Sarah, Amelia’s child, and he’s sad it’s not Rachel. Obviously missing a screw or two, he inspects Sarah until Mrs. S says it’s time to go. He’s worried about the birds (probably have more phone number messages to deliver to Rosewood), but Mrs. S insists she’ll take care of it, like she takes care of everything. She gives Sarah five minutes with Duncan and she demands answers. He tells Sarah that he doesn’t even know how many clones there are, that they were recruited by the military when they showed that they cloned human embryos, but were deemed an ethical failure. The DYAD stepped in to take over when the military dropped them and brought the project (and the babies) to term. She asked what they wanted, and he says they wanted babies. “Little girls.” Which is creepy. He asks if she knows his Rachel, and Sarah says yeah, she’s met the monster. Duncan insists they loved her.

While this conversation is going on, Mrs. S strolls right up to stalker Paul with a Thermos of tea and says, “Hello Paul.”

Mrs. S tells Paul that Sarah’s inside with Duncan and offers him tea. Paul pulls his gun, but Mrs. S just laughs and offers him a biscuit. She tells him that DYAD is Hydra (okay fine, A hydra, but stll) and that if he wanted to get to Sarah, he was going to have to go through her first. She smirks and mentions Afghanistan, and tells him it would be wise to be with her rather than against her.

Sarah keeps prodding Duncan about the clones, asking if Rachel was ever family or just an experiment. He insists they really loved their daughter, even though he was technically her monitor. He says that it was the Neolutionists at DYAD turned Rachel into who she is, they stole Rachel from him. Sarah is frustrated, she doesn’t feel like she’s getting through to him. She tells him that his daughter is lost, that the only clones left are a grifter, a housewife, and a scientist. She tells him that Cosima is the rarest magical unicorn and that she’s sick. “We’re sick,” she says.

HASHTAG, SAVE COSIMA

Sarah has been withholding her feelings about her sestras up until she found out that her time might be running out. She had been sassy, quick-tempered, desperate to free herself from this web she found herself caught up in. Until she realized Cosima was sick. Suddenly it’s not about getting away from these people, it’s about keeping her sisters safe.

Duncan tells Sarah that they were going to expose everything, but then Leekie found out. Leekie is the one Duncan has been hiding from, Leekie is the one who staged the lab fire and killed Susan, killed Rachel’s mother.

Next time on Orphan Black, Alison confesses to Vic, Mrs. S and Leekie face off, and Cosima and Delphine have a fight that hopefully ends in crazy science and not another storm-out.

What did you think of “To Hound Nature in Her Wanderings”?

Here are some of our favorite #clonesbians tweets from this week:

 

 

 

 

 

 

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