“Glee” recap (5.13): I dare you to love me

When Tina finds out she got rejected from Jewish community college in New York because of how she’s not Jewish, she leans into a hardcore meltdown, but Blaine and Artie and Sam are there to remind her that there’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a condescending song. They perform a stripped down version of “Loser Like Me” that is pretty stunning, actually, except that every time Darren Criss plays the piano, there’s a sixty percent chance it’s going to be the saddest thing you’ve ever heard in your life. Remember that version of “Teenage Dream” he did in the piano bar in New York that was so depressing the ASPCA fired Sarah McLachlan and hired him because his thing felt exactly like homeless puppies? They make it out of this one unscathed and Tina agrees to go to New York with them.
In the auditorium, Santana finds Rachel running her lines and says she texted the Funny Girl director to let him know she’s quitting the show. Rachel is like, “For me?” And Santana is all, “No, for me, and that’s my sticking point on this thing.” They agree that life is going to be tricky for them as friends because when there are two suns in the same universe, gravity is a mess, but for now they duet on Oh Honey’s “Be Okay.” What is amazing is that they bring more energy to the room/screen just sitting there singing together on their stools than Holly Holiday’s entire disco circus.
Speaking of which bubble tomfoolery: Sue got so many complaints about their little field trip that she can’t allow any more music in any more non-musical after school groups. Holly wants to formulate another plan, but Will shuts her down. So she requests Artiepants’ help with one last project. He thinks it’s the project of being in love. So much so that he’s halfway to breaking up with Kitty via text before Holly says she only needs his camera.
The last duet of the glee club belongs to Puck and Quinn, who announce that they are going to be long-distance boyfriend/girlfriend. Quinn says it’s hard to know who you are when you’re Ryan Murphy‘s own personal Mary Sue and each week is tantamount to a new Dollhouse adventure, but Puck was pretty great to at least one incarnation of her personality, so she’s going to try to color in the lines of herself with his love for a while. Santana goes, “I remember coloring in your lines, twice, one night.” Quinn smooches Puck and waves her off. After the snogging, Will declares New Directions officially dead.
At the end of the day, he receives an invitation to the auditorium where the kids have put together a really lovely tribute to him for his baby. For me, Mr. Schue’s deal has almost always fallen somewhere on a scale between insufferable and outright offensive, but that’s not Matthew Morrison‘s fault. He’s played that guy with a whole lot of heart over the last five years. And there’s no other show on TV that has ever hit the L and the G and the B and the T in the same classroom at the same time, a classroom that he shepherded. So it is a kind of sadness to see him go, even though the show will be infinitely better for it. All the New and Old Directions sing him off with a powerful performance of “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” and it absolutely had to be Kurt stepping in for Finn, and it was. It’s the original New Directions and then the first year recruits and then the New New Directions and then Will joins them on stage for a final hurrah.
And then! The Glee-est thing to ever be Glee-ed.

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