“Chicago Fire” recap (2.16): “Piece of cake”


Previously on Chicago Fire, Otis wanted to be a member of Severide’s Murder Club but didn’t meet the height requirement. Dawson really wants to be a firefighter even though she and Shay have an ass-slapping good time together. Casey really wants Dawson to stay home where she can maybe knit some sweaters and stay out of harms way. Jones was the worst candidate at 51 since Mills was a wee pup, and Vince Keeler went missing but without the part where anyone missed him.

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Severide tromps into the police department to have a little chat with Detective Lindsay. She told him to leave Keeler alone, he listened, so what’s to talk about? Kelly, who cares what you talk about just sit back and listen to that voice. Too bad Erin’s not doing the interrogation. Voight pops his head out of his office and with a voice like gravel in a coffee can says, “Hello, Kelly.” Kelly has the classic, “I was home alone all night” alibi. Voight wants to know if Shay is Kelly’s girlfriend. Severide says she probably would be if she weren’t a lesbian. Oh this is fun, who else? Clarke is a little moody but would make an excellent girlfriend. Severide and Casey have that love/hate kind of bromance. Herrmann is kind of mouthy but he’s got five kids so you know he puts out. If only they were all women. Voight tells Severide that Keeler is scum but until he comes up with a better alibi he’s a suspect.

Herrmann has come up with the perfect twentieth anniversary gift for Cindy. He’s going to get a vasectomy. Everyone thinks this is a terrible idea but Herrmann, once again, is out to prove everyone wrong. Casey finds Dawson in the locker room and tells her he found the perfect place for them to live. It has all the things she told him she didn’t want. Either he’s a terrible listener or his noggin is still broken. She is free to look at places after she drops off her paperwork for the next firefighter’s test. Casey says “well you have to wait until the first test of the new year unless that year ends in a number and then you have to wait six months longer and then you can take the test only if pigs fly.” But you know he “totally” supports her.

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Severide calls a meeting of the Squad 3 brain trust in the equipment/sexy times closet. Clarke and Capp have not been contacted by the CPD so Severide tells them we never talked about maiming Keeler, mmkay? Otis finds Severide and starts playing twenty questions about what the CPD knows. He sounds a little crazy. “Did she mention me? Did she say I look cute in orange? Did she say she likes me at all?” Otis this is missing person investigation, not an eighth grade dance.

The crew gets called out to a car accident where one car is halfway through the wall of a house. Inside, the driver of one of the cars is trying to keep the car from crushing a girl and a baby. Mills grabs the baby while Severide does is best Superman impression by holding up the car until the truck crew can pull it out.

Back at 51, Mills tells Jones she’s doing a good job but it will take a while to get into the circle of trust with the rest of the guys. He says she should try to make the first move. Oh lord, next time hand a lighter to a pyromaniac, Millsy. Meanwhile, Cruz and Mouch are trying to tell Herrmann that flowers make a nice anniversary gift, women never say no to jewelry, but a vasectomy seems like another of Hermy’s stupid ideas. Herrmann jumps up and reminds Mouch of his decision to wear red man-panties. Herrmann has it all planned, he’s going to reveal his decision (and hopefully not his actual junk) at Molly’s. Too bad Dawson has already reserved Molly’s for the topless tapas party for her extended family.

Otis gets a call from CPD and runs out to try to talk to Severide. Severide doesn’t want to know anything from Otis and welcomes the Chief to interrupt. They both leave Otis standing alone. Man, no one wants Otis on their team.

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Shawson gets called out and finds a guy shot next to a dumpster. They get him into the rig and start working on him when Dawson get a call to get the hell out of there because the shooters are on the way back. The shooters start banging on the back of the rig and shouting for Dawson to open the door all while waving their friendly looking guns around. Shay starts making chit-chat with the guys while Dawson slips into the driver’s seat. The radio voice directs Dawson to a warehouse and the bad guys go zipping past. While they work on the victim, the bad guys circle back. Shay jumps out to get in the driver’s seat and gets shot at for her trouble. The cops finally show up and Shay guns it for the hospital while Dawson tells the radio guy that they owe him a beer.

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