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“South of Nowhere” Recaps: Episode 2.2 “Behind the Music”

King High-Spencer and Aiden are walking around together between classes. (Although I’ll bet if she knew Aiden recently had Ashley pinned on her back in his bed, these two wouldn’t be so chummy.)

Spencer: You know what next Friday the 21st is, right? Aiden: The day after the 20th? Day after the 22nd? Its Ashley’s birthday, I know. Spencer: After everything she’s been through, I think we should make this one special.
Yes, because Bratty McBratt needs to be just a little more indulged. I know she’s had a rough patch, but it’s been a big week for Spencer too. She officially gone gay, remember?

Aiden: A trip to Vegas? Spencer: I’m thinking a surprise party at Gray.
Aiden goes into a trance. Or maybe he’s still working on that calendar math.

When Spencer asks what gives, he smiles dreamily and says, “Just picturing how much better it would be if we went to Vegas.”

Yeah, me too. Only in my version, I’m up $200 at Blackjack, I have tickets to see Stevie Nicks at Caesars, and Aiden is nowhere to be found.

Spencer: Ok, whatever you’re picturing in your head is never gonna happen. Aiden: I know, that’s why I’m milking the moment.
She gives him a playful sock in the arm and squawks, “You’re so weird!”

Spencer acts like it’s the first time she’s ever seen some straight guy use lesbians as his porn.

Ashley bops over to join them, and she’s wearing a glittery tank-top contraption that looks like it fell out of the trunk at Cher’s Farewell (yeah, right) Tour.

Ashley wants to know if they’ve been talking about her, and she’s happy to learn that they have. She’s way more relaxed about having her old and new squeezes talking about her than I would be. Actually, I think she’s just distracted because she’s trying to track down the film crew from VH1.

Ashley: They’re supposed to be doing some special “In Memoriam” thing on my Dad. My mom signed some release, so they could follow me around-see what the life of “Rafe Davies’ daughter” is all about. I’m sure she’s getting money out of it somehow.
She’s tossing her head about in mock disdain, but Ashley is perfectly coiffed and oh so ready for her paparazzi. You’d think the daughter of a rock star (and one with musical aspirations of her own) would be a little more openly excited about a visit from the good people at Behind the Music.

Kyla suddenly appears and she’s pissed. She shouts at Ashey, “You left me at home!”

Is she really surprised?

Ashley: Sorry. I keep forgetting that I have a sister. Weird, huh?
Aiden sniffs fresh meat and zeroes in on Kyla.

Aiden: If she ever forgets you again you can always call me. Ashley: Excuse me?!?!
Um hellooo, Ashley. Take a good, long look at the dewy blonde to your left. Who cares about Aiden’s carpooling schedule? You got the girl, so don’t be such a donkey!

Some VH1 dude with a camera strolls over to them, and Ashley takes an “I’d like to thank the little people” tone when she introduces herself. But the Camera Dude (no relation to “The Dude“) hones in on Kyla instead.

He asks her, “Hey, you’re Kyla Woods, right? How does it feel to find out that you’re the secret daughter of Rafe Davies?”

Camera Dude zooms in on Kyla, who is horrified. Unlike Ashley, she is not ready for her paparazzi, and she’s not even wearing anything sparkly.

The look on Ashley’s face is priceless. I think this whole mess between Ash and Kyla is dangerously close to devolving into the King High School production of The Mirror Crack’d (with Ashley as Elizabeth Taylor, natch.)

Boxing Gym – Aiden is boxing and showing off his body. This seems like a good time for me to go to the kitchen and get a Diet Mountain Dew (or “Liquid Gold” as its known around my house). But when I come back, he’s still there.

Aiden: I take it things aren’t going that well with Ash.
For a second it looks like he’s talking to the punching bag – which seems more like something Glen would do. But it turns out that he’s talking to Kyla, who soon moves into the frame.
Kyla: Can I plead the Second?
He gives his best “Oh, silly girl!” chuckle and tells her, “I think you mean the Fifth. The Second is the right to bear arms.”

There is no way that jockstrap Aiden would know any of this, but I’ll go along with it because I love this show. (It’s called “The Willing Suspension of Disbelief“, and it’s gotten me through the last two presidential elections.)

Kyla, who I can easily believe knows about all of the Amendments, replies snappily, “That’s what I’m pleading for.”

Aiden assures her that Ashley will get over herself. Well, what he says is that she’ll “loosen up.” Kyla unsheathes her claws.

Kyla: I don’t really care if Ashley’s loose or not.
Ashley has apparently teleported from her bedroom to the gym, because she suddenly appears right behind them.
Ashley: Heard that! Aiden: What are you doing here?
Exactly. Don’t you have a cute (and extremely curious) girlfriend waiting for you somewhere, Miss Saucy Socks?

Aiden bails for the shower, but Ashley continues to hammer away at Kyla.

Ashley: Look, if it’s not too much trouble to ask, could you stop completing invading my life? Kyla: Ash, I’m not inva – Ashley: “Ash”? Noooo. You don’t get the right to call me that. It’s “Ashley”. No, you don’t even get the right to call me “Ashley”!
That’s okay, I’m sure Kyla has a few other names in mind.
Kyla: I’m not trying to invade anything. Ashley: Umm, VH1 Video?!?! Kyla: They invaded me! Hey this may be hard on you, but it’s no dream come true for me either. Ashley: I’m sure it must be tough finding out that your Mom is a total whore. Kyla: Not as tough as finding out that my half-sister is a roaring bitch.
Snap!

Ashley channels her hateful mother, telling Kyla, “Just do me a favor. Take your half of the money and get your bastard ass out of here.” Parking Lot, King High – Madison finds a newspaper that someone has shoved under the wiper blade on her car. The headline reads that someone with Madison’s last name has been indicted for embezzling. Her eyes bug out of her head, but when Glen hobbles over she acts like nothing’s wrong.

Madison: How’s your knee? Glen: It’s getting better every minute… Um, I’ve been thinking about us a lot. Madison: Ay dios mio.
Because Glen probably thinks that’s Spanish for “I’ve been thinking about us a lot too”, he continues.
Glen: You were confused before, alright? Breaking up with me, going out with Aiden, getting dumped by Aiden – “
He’d better stop while he’s ahead. Madison has handed out concussions to people for saying much less.
Madison: What’s your point? Glen: I’m here for you. Madison: I’m not interested. Glen: Really, because before I blew out my knee you were talking about getting married. Madison: I was just caught up in the moment. I didn’t want you to go away to college without me. Glen: Well now I’m not going anywhere.
Exactly.
Madison: Exactly. Glen: Wow. People say that I’m shallow –
Then he snags her newspaper and uses his Hooked on Phonics skills to read the headline.
Glen: Your dad stole from a charity? Madison: It’s just lawyer spin, its fine. Glen: Rrright –

Carlin Household – Paula has loosened her iron grip on the family (probably because she’s been gripping something else, ahem.) and as a result it has fallen into utter liberal chaos. Arthur is cooking hippie food for the kids and their gaggle of friends, and it looks like a scene from Alice’s Restaurant.

Chelsea makes the mistake of asking for details about the ingredients, and is regaled with stories from Arthur’s tour of duty in the Peace Corps, which included basket weaving with some old woman in China. Clay and Spencer warn her against showing an interest, but Chelsea keeps kissing Arthur’s ass and he goes on. And on.

Soon Chelsea is starting to nod off into the salad spinner as Arthur rhapsodizes about a youth hostel and his student visa. And I think I heard something about “chasing the dragon”, but I’m not totally sure.

Anyway, the non-ass-kissing teens (Clay, Spencer, Aiden) are gossiping in the other room.

Spencer: I just feel so bad for Ashley right now. I don’t think she can take one more hit.
(She’s wearing her love-goggles, because Ashley’s been doling out most of the hits of late.)
Aiden: Yeah, but I feel bad for Kyla too. (i.e. “I’ve got it bad for Kyla too”) Spencer: You like her! Aiden: No! I’m just saying, she’s going through the same things Ashley is. Spencer: Yeah, and I’m just saying you like her.
Chelsea jumps in and wants to know who they’re talking about., but she’s really just eager to get into any conversation that isn’t about The Tao of Macramé.

While they create the Evite for Ashley’s party, Glen comes home with Mother Superior. He hears the word “party” and starts to hyperventilate.

Glen: “I’m SO there.”
Odd, I didn’t know that Glen partied with The Gays. And neither did Spencer.
Spencer: Okay, you are SO not invited. Glen: What? Why? Spencer: How about because you don’t even like Ashley? Glen: Yeah, but I love parties. So if you’re not inviting me, I’m just gonna crash it.
Great. So much for her plan to be Ashley’s “Private Dancer”.

Paula joins them, beams proudly at her dipstick son and then asks Clay and Chelsea if they’re staying for dinner. Clay isn’t but Chelsea is, and Paula’s just tickled about it.

Paula: Good. It will give me a chance to catch up on my favorite couple.
Clay and Chelsea think Paula’s talking about them (and not herself and Dr. Ben), so they make smoochy faces at each other.

Meanwhile, Spencer – who apparently was hoping that she and Ashley could be Paula’s favorite couple – shivers in the icy breeze of second class citizenship. Her sweet little mug looks truly sad, but I’m sure she’ll turn to her sensitive and caring new girlfriend for comfort at school the next day.

King High –

Ashley: That sucks. But it’s the price you pay for being in the closet.
Spencer has just related the whole “favorite couple” thing to Ashley. So much for sympathy. Sounds like Ashley wants to change the subject. To herself.

Again.

Ashley: Don’t worry. My night sucked too. My mom has officially made Kyla her B.F.F.

Spencer is a little too willing to abandon her own story to topic hop over to Ashley’s drama du jour.

Spencer: Do you have any idea how long she’ll be staying? Ashley: No, but even if she left right now it would still be way too long. She was totally hitting on Aiden yesterday.
Repeat after me: Who Cares?
Spencer: Yeah, I think he’s got a crush on her too. Ashley: What? Did he say that? Spencer: No, he just had that look on her face when he said her name.
Ashley makes a big production of mocking Aiden, and then makes an ominous prediction, “It’s totally going to destroy our circle.”

Their “circle” is more like the Bermuda Triangle, and I’m all too happy to see it fall off the radar completely. Aiden needs to get his own girlfriend instead of always trying to borrow Spencer’s. Or Ashley’s.

Spencer, honing her denial skills (just like dad) changes the subject completely.

Spencer: Oh I almost forgot, Friday, we have dinner reservations at 8 pm at Mako. Ashley: (with a tone) You’re planning out dates now?
As opposed to whom, the producers of Next? I never would have pegged Ashley as such a bossy little top! Spencer quickly demures to Mistress.
Spencer: No, but it’s your birthday. Ashley: Right. Spencer: You don’t want to celebrate? Ashley: My dead Dad and bitch Mom had sex 17 years ago,why would I want to celebrate a mistake? Would you want to celebrate that? I just don’t even want to hear the words “happy birthday’ let alone have some big fancy dinner. Spencer: No celebration. Got it.
King High School – Aiden is sleeping on a bench with a book over his face. I’ll bet this is the toughest class in his schedule.

Kyla comes over to tell him that she received his invitation to Ashley’s party, but that she won’t attend. Aiden admits to trying to push the two sisters together because he’s suddenly all about family. Kyla’s doubtful, and tells him, “I just don’t think Ashley would want me at her surprise party.”

Spencer and Ashley are walking up behind them just as Kyla says those words. Ooops.

Ashley: You’re right, I don’t! Then again, I didn’t even know I was having a surprise party. So you’ve managed to ruin my life, and my birthday. And you’ve only been here a couple of weeks – that’s so impressive.
Ashley storms off and Spencer scurries after her with an armful of books. (Is she carrying Ashley’s books too?)
Spencer: (weakly) Surprise. Yeah, I’ll be calling the party off. Ashley: No! Just because Kyla ruined the surprise doesn’t mean she gets to ruin the party. Just one thing; she doesn’t come.
Spencer takes Ashley’s arm and leads her along through a semi-deserted walkway. They stop to gaze at each other.
Spencer: Somehow, I don’t think we’re going to have to worry about that.
Ashley finally pulls her head out of her ass and takes Spencer’s hand, “Thank you so much for being great.”

Spencer beams and Ashley pulls her in for a kiss.

What a superfreak. Last week Ashley wouldn’t hold Spencer’s hand at school, but this week she wants to make out with her while classes are changing? So much for guarding Spencer’s closet.

Cut to the Camera Dude from Behind the Music, who’s zooming in on their liplock.

Camera Dude: This is gold! Don’t stop. Spencer: Oh my god. You can’t put this on TV!
She looks at Ashley, terror flashing in her eyes. But Ashley looks rather pleased at the prospect of appearing on what will now probably be the highest-rated episode of Behind the Music of all time.

King High Boys Locker Room – Sean and Aiden are talking in the locker room while Aiden flexes his abs. The boys are agog over Ashley’s party, but for completely different reasons.

Sean smirks, “I can’t wait to see which one of those sisters backhands you. You’re looking for trouble putting yourself between those girls.”

King High is a matriarchal society. The girls run their various fiefdoms and occasionally declare war on one another, while the guys preen and get passed around between the girls like Tic Tacs. No wonder Sean advises Aiden to proceed with caution.

Aiden plays innocent, and says he got it “under control”, then Kyla suddenly storms into the boys’ locker room. Sean scurries away in his towel, and Aiden quickly escorts her back out into the hallway. Whatever Kyla has to say must be pretty important.

Kyla: I just came her to say that I know you and Ashley are good friends and I didn’t mean to spoil the surprise.
This couldn’t have waited until lunch?
Kyla: You know she looks at you right? Aiden: What? Kyla: Oh come on. There’s something between you two isn’t there?
Aiden changes the subject, then gets on his knees to beg Kyla to come to the party with him. See what I mean? A Tic Tac.

King High Parking Lot – Spencer is trying wheedle the incriminating video out of the Camera Dude. I’m having a nightmarish premonition of Spencer, her mother and some butch ex-dyke in an ill-fitting skirt from Exodus International all duking it out over Spencer’s queer soul on daytime television.

Spencer: Um, I’m gonna need that tape of me and Ashley. Camera Dude: Which tape? Spencer: Don’t be an ass! You don’t understand if my parents see that – I mean if anyone really sees that, then I can’t … we can’t… Look, my parents don’t know that we’re together. My parents don’t even know that I’m … and this is going to ruin us.
No the MPAA did not just censor all of the direct and indirect references to being queer that came out of Spencer’s mouth. This is a Spencer problem.

It’s like how The Fonz could never admit when he was, “Wrrro – “.

Camera Dude: That’s tough. But this could be huge and that’s what I get paid for.
Then he slams the door of his van shut in her face.

Gray – Gray is the South of Nowhere version of The Peach Pit on 90210. Only Gray serves booze and has girls making out with each other in the bathroom. (Hey, whatever happened to that girl, anyway? I think I saw her in a Cingular ad the other night.

Madison is there to pick up a jacket she had left behind. She makes a big deal about it being Italian-made, which I think is supposed to signal to the barkeep (and everyone else) that she is a Woman of Coin. But is she?

The barkeep (her official name is “Cat”) tosses Madison her jacket then comes around from the bar for a private conversation.

Okay, I held my tongue about this during Season One, but since she appears to be around for the long haul, I think we need to do some investigating. Am I the only one who gets the serious lesbo vibe from the barkeep? What’s her story, anyway?

She reminds me of those girls who tend bar in West Hollywood. You know, she came to Los Angeles to act, but roles like “Pilates Instructor” and “Mechanic” were hard to come by. So got herself a Mystic Tan and headed down to Girlbar where she could make decent tips off the swinging straight couples who come in to gawk and pick up “a third”. Who did she piss off at Girlbar to get stuck serving Red Bull to teenagers?

The barkeep is forced to bring up the delicate topic of Madison’s bar tab and how it needs to be paid off. Madison is 16 years old, right? How exorbitant can a tab be when you’re just ordering Diet Cokes?

Madison tries the old “I’ll pay you later” routine, but the barkeep has heard the scandalous rumors about Madison’s father.

Barkeep: If you’re having trouble, we could work something out –
Rrrreeeallly?

But that’s not what she meant. She’s merely offering to let Madison work a few shifts at Gray to pay down her tab.

Madison: (with disgust) Work?
Seriously! Isn’t there some knucklehead out there who could take care of this bill? I think Tony Parker‘s single again –

Spencer’s bedroom – Spencer is modeling a cute green dress for Chelsea and trying to figure out what to wear to Ashley’s party. Chelsea tells her that she looks “hot”, and it’s clear that she is going to be totally Susan Sarandon about the whole gay thing when Spencer finally comes out to her.

The girls talk about clothes, and Chelsea gushes over what a great guy Clay is and Spencer tells Chelsea that Clay is crazy about her too. Then Chelsea delicately tries to segue from her relationship with Clay to Spencer’s relationship with Ashley.

Chelsea: I think it’s really great that you’re planning this party for Ashley. Spencer: Yeah, well (squirm squirm), she’s my best friend, so –
Spencer looks around the room for a picture to adjust or some papers to organize. Chelsea won’t let her off that easily.
Chelsea: Isn’t she more than just a friend?
Spencer looks a little dazed, and she stammers while trying to figure out the “right” answer in this situation.

That look Spencer just gave Chelsea – it’s so familiar.

Wait, I know! It’s the “Jenny” look. Watch any episode of The L Word in which Jenny is talking about some portion of her novel (or hellish piece of personal history) and you’ll see her give that look to the listener. It’s like she’s quietly checking to see if the person is about to throttle her before she launches into her next overshare.

Spencer: (snapping out of Jenny-ville) Yeah…Yes!

The girls giggle with glee cause it’s so cool to be young and gay. Or gay-friendly.

Chelsea: I really like how you guys are together. It feels real. Spencer: Well it is – I mean for me. I don’t know if that matters to anyone else though. Chelsea: You know what? You find love – no matter who it is, you’re lucky.
The girls embrace. Yay! Spencer just came out!

Holy Crap. Spencer just came out! She realizes what this means and panics.

Spencer pleads with Chelsea, “Please don’t tell anyone “cause no one in my family knows.”

Chelsea crosses her heart, but it turns out Clay has been listening in the doorway. He pipes up, “I do. But no one will know until you’re ready.”

That was really sweet. I’m glad that Clay is going to be all Tim Robbins about this.

Carlin Living Room – Arthur is waking up on the sofa again and Paula is bitching about having overslept.

Arthur: Well, that’s what happens when you make your alarm clock sleep on the couch.
I’m totally digging the new back-talking Arthur!

Paula tells him that he has to stop being mad at her, and he begs to differ. She exits in puff of green smoke.

Gray – Ashley’s birthday party is in full swing and there’s a line at the door, ostensibly where all the less cool kids are waiting in vain to get in.

Inside, all is right with the world. Spencer and Ashley are dancing together (in a squeaky clean, dosey-do kind of way), Clay and Chelsea are cuddling in the corner, Glen looks totally doped up as he dirty dances with his crutch, Madison is serving drinks, and – huh?

Madison is the cocktail waitress? Ay dios mio!

Suddenly, a hush falls over the crowd. Aiden has arrived, and he’s brought Kyla! Everyone steps back for the inevitable Ashley/Kyla rumble.

Ashley jumps all over Aiden for defying her orders and bringing Kyla to the party, but he tells her that he knows that the girls would get along if they’d just give it a try.

Ashley: You don’t know me at all. If you did, you wouldn’t have brought her. This about you, Aiden.
Yep.

Kyla knows where she’s not wanted (so she had to see this coming, right?) and storms out of the party. Aiden goes after her, and Ashley makes a “This party is ruined!” face at Spencer, who is probably starting to feel like she can’t do anything right.

Outside Gray – Kyla is moping outside the club when Madison slips out to…comfort (?) her.

Madison: Look, you’re new here and we really don’t know each other, but –
Then she unloads all of the Aiden/Ashley/Spencer Season One dirty laundry so that Kyla can get up to speed. Aiden steps outside just in time to hear Madison tell Kyla that he once got Ashley pregnant.

Think quickly! Must not ruin chances with new girl! Tell her you were just donating sperm to your favorite lesbian, and reference She Hate Me.

But he shouldn’t worry, because Kyla appears to be more upset by Aiden lying to her than the fact that he knocked up her half-sister.

Gray – Inside the club, Ashley is suffering from drama overload and has gone into seclusion. In the bathroom. She fiddles with her cel phone and calls her dead father’s number – which has been disconnected – then bursts into tears.

Meanwhile, the camera dude from Behind the Music enters the bar and Spencer flips out.

Spencer: Perfect! The night just gets better. That guy’s got a tape of me and Ashley kissing. I tried to get it back from him, but – if that gets on TV – if mom sees that – Clay: She would freak! Spencer: What am I gonna do?
Clay sets off for the tape, but instead gets into a shoving match with Camera Dude. I’m worried because Clay is more of a scholar than a fighter, so he might be starting something he can’t finish. And he doesn’t have a 70 lb camera that he could use as a weapon. But it’s okay, because Clay has a strong left (brain) jab. He tells Camera Dude, “You’re thinking of using something involving a minor who did not sign a release form?”

Oh yeah. Minors! For some reason, I always seem to forget that about them.

Clay makes a nice save, and it’s a good thing that one of these kids actually attends classes and learns about the law and stuff.

Camera Dude admits that he wasn’t going to use the footage anyway (“Your kiss didn’t make this cut”) and instead gives them a copy of the show he’s been shooting.

I’m not sure I trust him. The girls may not have made the Behind the Music cut, but they had better keep a close eye on any Girls Gone Wild ads that pop up on the Spike Channel over the next couple of weeks.

Ashley’s Bedroom – Aiden and Kyla are looking through one of Ashley’s scrapbooks. She’s forgiven him for lying, and now she’s looking for the back story on the Aiden/Ashley hook-up – and also any reasonable explanation for those photos of Aiden’s old poofy hairdo.

Ashley storms into the room, and she’s pissed that Aiden and Kyla are about to make out in her bed. Kyla tries to stick up for herself, but Ashley starts with the “Don’t call me Ashley” routine again.

(What is she supposed to call her? “Mistress”? That’s Spencer’s thing.)

Ash makes some vaguely threatening catty remarks and brings up the inheritance – again. Kyla insists that it was never about the money, she just wanted to get to know Ashley so that she could better understand their dad.

Ashley tells Kyla that she can just learn about him from the Behind the Music episode, and dramatically tosses the Camera Dude’s DVD into the player. But she’s quickly humbled when she watches the clip and hears her father express regret about not spending more time with his family.

(His actual words were, “More hugs, less drugs.” Yes, the lead singer of Poison is quoting Nancy Reagan. The lion has lain down with the lamb.)

When he mentions his daughters, the girls look at each other and have simultaneous epiphanies without ever exchanging a word.

Aiden and Kyla leave Spencer there to comfort Ashley, who still doesn’t want to be comforted.

Ashley: That’s the only way I’ll ever see my dad again. Old video footage and album covers.
(Which sounds a hell of a lot better than the faded Polaroids that most of us are left with.)

Kyla’s Room – Aiden is giving Kyla puppy dog eyes and begging her to stick around despite all the hate she’s getting from Ashley.

Ashley walks in on them again, but this time she’s slouching in the doorway and looking a little contrite. Aiden splits and the girls start to negotiate a truce. Ashley is willing to try to “work it out” with Kyla for the sake of their father, but admits she’ll probably still be a bitch (which I think automatically calls into question the definition of “working it out”).

Kyla wishes her a happy birthday, and Ashley tells her that it wasn’t really her birthday after all.

Ashley: My birthday is next month. But Aiden and Spencer went to so much trouble that I couldn’t bear to tell them. Kyla: Well good. I’ll have another month to figure out how to ruin that one too.
The episode ends with them sitting together on Kyla’s bed, not scratching each other’s eyes out.

Then we get a preview for a webisode in which Ashley is crying and making a Top Model-style confessional video. In it, she’s sniffling, “Tell me that you loved me more than anything, tell me that I meant more to you than her.”

At first, I was worried that this was about her and Aiden (they’ve been hinting that she might still like him), but when I watched the clip at The-N.com, I realized that the confession was all about her father. (It helped that the clip was entitled “Letter to Daddy.”)

But then that immediately conjured images of a 50-something Bette Davis (in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane) in pigtails and a Courtney Love-style children’s dress singing “I’ve Written a Letter to Daddy.” Shudder.

In order to dispel that image, I checked out the online SON preview for the next episode, “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner”. It’s a brief clip of the girls slipping about In Nature (okay, at a petting zoo after hours) with what looks to be a cooler full of booze. Just as they begin to kiss they are – surprise! – interrupted.

I’m beginning to think that Spencer’s mom has inserted some sort of chip in Spencer’s brain that operates like a variation on the movie Speed. The chip will make her head explode if a girl kisses her for longer than 3 seconds.

And I know the chip only works with girls because I watched Spencer maul Aiden last season while on their big Hollywood Bowl date for what seemed like hours, but with no negative consequences.

I know it sounds outrageous, but Spencer’s mom is a nurse. So, as Judy Tenuta used to say, “It could happen!” Besides, what other explanation for all of this Spashley kissus interruptus could there possibly be?

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