“The Real World: Ex-Plosion” recap (29.2): Numbers game


Later, Jamie is on the phone with her friend when Thomas’ ex Hailey calls. Thomas sees who is calling and flees, saying there was no way in Hell he was going to pick up. The producer pulls him aside and asks him if he would be ok if Hailey moved into the house, and Thomas answers with an emphatic “NO!” Oh well. Too bad so sad.

Then Cory and Jenny have a talk. Jenny tells him that she does not date players. Cory tells Jenny that he is actually “softhearted” and that he is past the cheating and player phase of his life. If Jenny falls for this, I would consider her “softheaded.”

Later, Jamie, Arielle and Thomas go to a cafe, where Thomas tells Arielle that he finds her to be the most attractive person in the house. Jamie cuts in, saying, “What, you don’t find me attractive?”

“What?” says Thomas. “I don’t want to have sex with you!”

Oy. Turns out the mild mannered gentleman might need to go to charm school after all. Who says that?

He then goes on to tell Jamie that he doesn’t have sex with girls who have slept with a lot of people. What is this? 1950? Arielle sees that Jamie is upset and gives Jamie a hug, but Jamie walks out anyway. Later, Thomas continues telling the house that to him, sex is not just physical and he has to be in love with whoever he is porking, except his declaration ends up sounding like a lecture.

“If you think that my number [of sex partners] is so big that I don’t deserve you, get outta here. Don’t even do that with me,” says Jamie.

Thomas decides to sashay away, waving his hand around like a drag queen. Jamie follows him, telling him to grow up.

The rest of the housemates don’t know what to make of the exchange. Jenny decides that the best way to cut the tension is to make out with Cory against the wall in front of everyone else. As Thomas apologizes to Jamie, the rest of the housemates stare at Jenny and Cory as if they were staring at a dead possum on the highway. They know it is bad and they want to look away but they cannot.


img6“Da fuq???”

The next night, it’s back to the bar, where Jenny and Cory cannot be bothered to talk to anyone, because they have their tongues down each others throats the entire time, making it hard to multitask. Not to be outdone, Jamie plants one on Thomas, and then they go at it as well, as the rest of the cast with unoccupied mouths cheer them on.

A few days later, and a few days closer to the arrival of the exes, Jenny and Ashley take a walk and get lost, ending up in Chinatown. Jenny declares that Chinese food and Japanese food are fabulous but Korean food is the “nastiest food [she] has eaten in her life.” This makes me want to bibimbap her in the head, and I’m not even Korean.

Later that night, Arielle rounds up the roommates and takes them to Q Bar in The Castro, San Francisco’s gay district. Cory tells Jay that he isn’t used to going into bars where girls look right past him. He should try coming to Williamsburg or Greenpoint, where you only get noticed if your complexion matches your iPhone and you are 20 pounds underweight.


Arielle lets loose on the dance floor, and a hottie spots Jenny and starts dancing with her, which bugs Cory.

“How would you like it if I brought a guy home, and…” Cory says, before he catches himself. “WHOA! Scratch that!” he says, laughing. He tells the producer not to use the footage, but – oops!

After the roommates return home, Cory gives Jenny stinkeye. Jenny finds out Cory is annoyed that she danced with some girls, which she finds hilarious. Cory gets more upset.

“You like to wear the pants!” says Cory, earnestly. “I wear the pants.”

Jenny erupts in laughter. So does everyone watching MTV.

But later on, the two are seen having sex in the shower – and even those that did not see them heard them.

“Ok y’all!” yells Ashley. “At least be quiet!”

Jay is upset by the couple’s etiquette, or lack thereof. The confessional, where everyone has to sit? The shower which everyone has to use? “Can you, you know, do it on the bed?” he says. He has a point.

Ashley walks out of the bathroom, shaking her head. Then Cory struts out of the stall. Jenny follows, with her legs wobbling.

Then Thomas gets on the phone with his ex Hailey, who turns out to be the first girl he has ever been with. Jamie looks on in annoyance.

“There’s a fine line between being friends with your ex and having feelings for your ex,” says Jamie. Everyone reading this site should read that quote over and over again. This has been a public service announcement.

That night Jenny and Ashley decide to have a girls’ night out. “We’re gonna be sweatin’ like a whore in church!” says Jenny.

The rest of the housemates go out to another club, where Jamie and Thomas start squabbling over the random girls who keep talking to Thomas, with Jamie even going as far as pushing one girl out of the way, but then at the end of the night, the two decide that they are boyfriend and girlfriend. As Rihanna said, it is possible to find love in a hopeless place.

Jenny and Ashley return to the house, and Jenny is annoyed that Cory is not home yet.

Meanwhile, Arielle is strutting down the street with a cute girl, and as she is telling us about her, Cory gets into a fight on the street with a stranger for no reason, and he starts screaming “I’m not from this sweet ass city!” whatever that means. Jenny hears the commotion and runs outside. Cory runs inside, threatening to beat the stranger up, and Arielle intervenes and with no effort at all topples Cory over, in a move reminiscent of cow tipping. Cory stomps around the house and breaks some glass and walks off camera.

Jenny stands in the kitchen shaking her head. I guess Cory’s not getting ass tonight.

Later on, Ashley attempts to sweep the broken glass off the floor of the kitchen.

“I don’t even know how to sweep. I had a maid for this,” she says. Well, A for effort?

Then Cory tries to talk to Jenny in the confessional, but he loses his temper again, and then walks through the kitchen breaking more glass. Sorry, Ashley. I guess you’ll have to do it all over again. Well, look on the bright side. At least this is giving you practice. If the season continues the way it’s been going you’ll be a Swiffer black belt in no time.

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