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“Dracula” recap (1.07): Kiss of the Spider Woman

This episode, as a whole, is very male-centric, and quite frankly, a little boring. Dracula can walk in the sun and tries to quit killing cold-turkey, but falls off the blood wagon, blah blah blah. But don’t fret, even though she had little screen time, Katie McGrath as Lucy truly stole the show.

Also, Lady Jayne might be a vampire slayer, but a good girl she is not. When she’s not all up in Dracula’s business, Lady Jayne spends her time all up in Lucy’s business. A distraught Lucy shows up at her door, telling her new friend how Mina reacted when she confessed her feelings. Lady Jayne insists it couldn’t have been that bad, but Lucy is sure she saw revulsion in Mina’s face. Lady Jayne assures her that Mina is just afraid to share her feelings, and then Lady Jayne, manipulative, evil Lady Jayne, turns the tables. She convinces her that not only was Mina’s reaction cowardly, but in fact quite cruel. Lucy slowly agrees. “She knows nothing of pain, not as I do.” It’s okay Lucy, we know your pain. Let us love you.

The fire of Lucy’s anger, being prodded by Lady Jayne, is starting to grow, and she wonders how Mina would feel if her precious love Harker rejected her the way Mina rejected Lucy.

Lady Jayne, not one for subtlety, then turns to Lucy and flat-out asks her if she’s a virgin. Though she poses the question as though she already knows the answer. She says that Lucy preens in a way that makes it obvious, but that she was going to help her. Lady Jayne says a woman’s best weapon is her mind (true) and that she’s going to teach Lucy how to haunt Jonathan’s dreams. Lady Jayne slowly caresses Lucy’s hand as she slowly and huskily describes each of the five senses. Lucy’s chest starts to heave as Lady Jayne makes it through sight, sound, smell, touch…

By the time Lady Jayne gets to “taste,” their faces are close, Lucy’s eyes are darting wildly between Jayne’s eyes and her lips. Lady Jayne lets her tongue touch Lucy’s lip. Taste. They kiss.

Lucy kisses back with a sort of desperation. She’s been waiting for something like this to happen to her since she learned what kisses were. There’s a longing in the way she kisses Jayne, like she’s clinging to this moment, in case it isn’t real, in case it ends too soon. It does end, however, and Lady Jayne sends her off with a metaphorical pat on the bum and a, “Go get him.”

And go get him she does. Lucy shows up where Harker is getting fitted by his tailor with as much feigned confidence as ever. Harker almost throws her off her game by telling her that Mina told him what had upset her the other night, but she gets right back on track when she finds out that Mina simply told him that Lucy had broken up with her boyfriend. Lucy smiles and says, “He wasn’t my type.” What with the having a penis and all.

In a move that would make Lady Jayne proud, she tut-tuts the tailor off Harker and takes over before he can measure Harker’s inseam. She takes a moment to get over the horror of being so close to boyparts, puts on her best fake flirty smile, and slowly drags her hand up her leg.

She jots his measurements on the tailor’s notepad and struts away, utterly pleased by the panic on Harker’s face.

I have but one question: WHAT IS YOUR GAME, LADY JAYNE? Wouldn’t sending Lucy after Harker ultimately drive Mina INTO Greyson’s arms? Which is the opposite of what Jayne wants? I liked it better when she was encouraging Lucy to be with Mina, not hurt her.

Bonus Jessica de Gouw: Mina didn’t have any scenes with Lucy this week, but I couldn’t not provide you with a screenshot of her. How are you liking Dracula so far? What do you think Lady Jayne is up to?

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