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“Chicago Fire” recap (2.10): “I’ll nail you”

Previously on Chicago Fire, Bellatrix LeStrange escaped Azkhaban to come to Chicago with the sole purpose of closing down all the firehouses (old Voldy doesn’t like suspenders). Dawson and Shay watched a guy kill himself, and Shay spiralled out of control as we all screamed “Dawson is this you apologizing? Because you suck at it!” Shay met a bad girl who sang “come on, forget your troubles” and then stole all of Shay’s stuff. Cruz’s brother went back into the gang, solved a murder, and get sent to Out of Town for his trouble. Severide lost a baby and Carmen De La Pica Morales but gained a little sister and an understanding of why you should take your phone when you go running. Mouch kept his integrity but lost the election for union president. First we thought Clarke was a snitch, then we found out he has a wife and is a nice lezbro (who may have a small anger management issue). Dawson hooked up Jay while she waited for Casey to stop playing Mr. Mom to the Darden boys. Now she and Casey are happy and having sex all over the firehouse, which means someone is going to die, probably.

We begin this night at Molly’s where Herrmann, Severide, and Clarke are killing brain cells and drinking away their sorrows over the closing of 51. Hayes walks in, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle, and demands Clarke pay him back the two grand he lent Clarke’s wife. Clarke tell the guy to leave but Hayes says they can just agree it was payment for services rendered. He calls Lisa a whore. Clarke goes nuts and threatens to kill Hayes.

Casey and Dawson are holding hands as they walk to work. Like a couple of closet cases they drop hands before walking in but since this is their last shift together they agree to tell everyone they are dating at the end of the shift. Classy Casey grabs Dawson’s ass before they head inside. Cruz can’t believe Zoya left. Otis hands him a cd of 27 different versions of “Leaving on a Jet Plane” and says, “Believe it, bro.”

Boden is addressing a group consisting of the ghosts of rescues past. They are upset the house is closing. The mother of the little boy who died last season hugs Boden and tells him he’s sure that he’s done everything he can to save the house. Casey and Severide meet in the clubhouse to discuss ways they might be able to save the house. Despite being MENSA members, they have zero ideas. Mouch is getting ready to hand out new assignments to everyone but instead they decide that they have one shift left together, and one shift to save the house. Casey only get halfway through the “Win one for the Gipper” speech before they all get called out to a rescue. Typical.

The call is to save a guy trapped in a car, under another car. Must be Tuesday. They do some nifty maneuvering with chains and heavy machinery and pull the guy out. Back at 51, Severide hops out of the truck to talk to Nathan who has set up a little table and is collecting signatures to save the house. So far he has two. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodnight. Inside the house the gang watches Greg Sullivan being led away in cuffs for embezzling union funds. Herrmann tells Mouch, via a veritable smorgasbord of mixed metaphors, that he needs to step into the void left by Mr. Potato Head.

Casey is on his phone in his little bunk room when Dawson shows up. She’s the worst at sneaking around. She asks if he was talking to one of his “babes” and he says “no, you’re brother.” Well, this just got more interesting. He and Antonio are meeting to discuss McLeod. Right, there’s vanilla Casey we’re used to seeing. Dawson gets all hot and bothered because Casey is playing “dirty pool.” Whatever works for you, Dawson. She closes the blinds with the subtly of a sledgehammer.

Dawson walks out of the booty call room and tucks in her shirt. Lady, you are just begging to get caught. Shay sees her and hands her a letter. Then Shay checks out Dawson’s ass, and tells her that he shirt is untucked. While Dawson reads her letter, Shay pieces it all together. Lesbians know sneaking around when they see it. It’s our superpower.

Casey walks into Boden’s office. Boden tells him that McLeod is coming in for a tour of 51 and Boden can’t bring himself to give her anything but a swift boot in the rear. He blames himself everything and Sean says “Will, it’s not your fault.” Somewhere across town (man, these guys really travel a lot while “at work”) Mouch storms into a union meeting. It turns out the union hasn’t been completely useless and Mouch storms back into 51 brandishing a file folder. It seems McNasty gets a fat bonus if she cuts the budget and closing 51 is going to net her 200 grand. Look at that, a ray of hope.

Shay and Dawson are having a meeting in the laundry room. Dawson’s letter was her acceptance into the firefighter academy and Shay was obviously the first person she wanted to tell. She applied years ago and her big, red firetruck has finally come in. Shay is ecstatic (Casey take notes) and tells Dawson she is going to kick ass. Dawson smiles her best “I’m a BAMF and I know it” smile. Welcome back, badass Dawson, we missed you. Shay says she has Dawson’s back and she’s proud of her. No, really, Casey take some effing notes. They hug and it’s lovely.

Severide rolls up to the fire academy in the Squad 3 truck because the house is closing so, screw it, he might as well live it up with inappropriate use of firehouse equipment, right? He asks one of the instructors for his help saving the house but has to agree to teach a class in return. Back at 51, Cruz is listening to the break-up CD Zoya made for him. Well, actually Otis made the CD to make Cruz feel better and its working about as well as all of Otis’ other ideas. Clarke sits down next to Cruz and they stare into the distance and pretend they’re fine.

Antonio comes by to talk to Casey. Casey wants to talk about Mcleod and Antonio busts him a little for dating his sister. Casey asks Antonio to put in a good word for him with Mama Dawson and Antonio just laughs. We all want to watch Mama Dawson give you the third degree. Casey asks Antonio to check into McLeod but without involving Voight. Can you please involve Detective Hairporn? Please? We’ve been good lesbians this year.

OK, in the realm of the best things that have happened on television this year, this next thing might be the best. Shay and Dawson walk into the common room. As they do the image on the television screen is a beaver. An actual beaver, doing actual beaver things. It’s the funniest thing this show has done in two seasons.

Shay wants to know what everyone thinks of female firefighters tells then that this is a safe space and that they should feel free to voice their opinions. Cruz and Otis say they are cool with female firefighters but Master Chief Herrmann starts spouting off about how women are too weak to handle the rigors of the job. Hey Dawson, what do you think of Herrmann’s argument?

Dawson reminds Herrmann that it was she who saved his tiny butt when he fell through the floor during a fire. She’s pissed and they shout at each other. She storms off and motions for a bewildered Casey to follow her. All those in favor of some G.I. Jane-style training montages for Dawson? Oh good, it’s unanimous.

Casey is surprised to learn about Dawson’s dream of fighting fires. He asks, “What about med school?” Which is a fair question. Dawson is still agitated from ripping Herrmann a new one but Casey can’t read the signs. When she asks for his honest opinion he gives it to her. He really needs lessons from Shay on how to talk to women (and based on her track record with the ladies, that’s basically the screwed-up leading the blind). Before he can dig himself out of the hole, Dawson gets called out. Processus interruptus.

The call is to a weird warehouse-type building. The elevator opens to reveal a man and a woman standing in their birthday suits. Dawson asks if they would mind putting some clothes on but these two aren’t ashamed of their bodies. The couple spends the elevator ride checking out Shay and Dawson (who can blame them, really?). Their apartment reveals the injured guy who is trussed up like a turkey and hanging from the ceiling in some sort of cargo net. My Mama always said calls are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.

Dawson says, “Well this is weird. What are the odds that they would have just the set-up I do?” They have to make do to get him down and that includes getting ugly, naked guy to help hold up the victim. Back at the house, Dawson is a little down about the fact that she couldn’t lift the guy without help but Shay tells her that it was quick thinking to borrow the brawn from the nudist. She puts her arm around Dawson and tell her she’ll make a great firefighter. Casey, you better be taking notes or someone’s going to take your girl.

Cruz finds Otis in the hallway and proposes to him. Well, he proposes that they move in together. He says they’ll be Crotis. Not for nothing guys, but Crotis sounds like something you get during spring break in Daytona. Regardless, these two are U-hauling. Outside, Mills brings Nathan a cup of cocoa and Nathan asks if politicians are the ones who decide which houses get closed. Listen to Robyn, Mills and call your girlfriend. Antonio walks in and says McLeod is clean, not even a parking ticket. He’d also like to have a word with Clarke and Severide. When Antonio asks about Hayes, Clarke admits he screamed at Hayes and threatened to kill him. The problem is that Hayes is dead. Whoops.

Clarke tells the Chief he didn’t kill Hayes right before McLeod shows up looking like the ghost of Christmas future. McLeod tells the Chief that inspectors will come to ensure that no one takes any souvenirs at the end of the shift. Casey asks if she means 200 grand in souvenirs. For the first time she looks nervous when she stalks off, leaving a trail of smoke and flying monkeys in her wake.

Otis calls everyone out to see the parade of people who have come to the Bailey’s house to give whatever they can to save the Building and Loan. The firefighters are speechless. Boden looks like he might cry, and old man Potter looks like someone stole her puppy. Boden’s secretary runs out and tells Boden and McLeod that they are being summoned to the principal’s office. And what to our wondering eyes should appear, but Senator Wheeler, Mills, and Isabella. McLeod defaults to sucking up mode only to be shut down by Wheeler. He’s gotten over a thousand calls about saving the firehouse and it’s going to look good on his political resume. McLeod balks. Laying a finger aside of his nose, with a wink to Boden, out the side door Wheeler goes. McLeod can’t believe it so Isabella breaks it down for her. She’s either going to sign the agreement or spend the rest of her life working as the Grinch in the local icecapades. See that, Chief? Bitches get shit done.

Back at 51 Herrmann leads the cheer. Boden tries to give Mills the credit but he deflects it back at the house. Shay figures this is the moment to share with everyone that Dawson is going to the fire academy. The announcement is met by silence until Mouch tells her she’ll make a great firefighter and then everyone realizes they should clap, too. Casey asks “what happened to listening to me and doing everything I say?” Dawson tells him to get on board and get the hell out of the way. This couples squabble is interrupted by another call. How are we supposed to get any processing done if people keep starting fires?

The call is to an apartment fire and it’s a doozy. The crew races to get people out. The Chief tells everyone it’s time to leave because it’s too dangerous. As Casey and Herrmann head out a woman crawls out and says he baby is still in its room. Casey sends Herrmann out with the woman because he’s got a family and rushed to get the baby. He tucks the baby in his coat and runs out. Before he gets to the door a beam falls on top of him and knocks him to the floor. The crew rushes in to save him. He stumbles out into the night, hands over the baby and then collapses.

Dawson frantically tends to his bleeding head and yells at him to hold on as they rush him to the hospital. The crew sits and waits for word on Casey and the baby. Mills looks around at his fellow firefighters and, because he’s Mr. Look-at-me, he announces that he’ll always be a firefighter. Shay bounces in and says the baby is going to be fine. Antonio comes in and give Gaby a hug. He motions to Clarke and they chat about Clarke’s gun collection. Seems like the gun that killed Hayes matches the type Clarke has sitting around his house. Bye, Clarke. Enjoy your time in the pokey. Hopefully it’s as cushy as Heather Darden’s accommodations.

Dr. HIPAA comes out to say that Casey needs surgery to relieve pressure from his subdural hematoma. Dawson runs off and stares through the window to the operating room as you are allowed to do in every major medical center.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your cliffhanger until the show returns in January. Happy New Year, everyone. I’ll see you back here in a few weeks.

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