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“Once Upon A Time” recap (3.10): Homecoming

Previously on Once Upon A Time, we spent ten hundred years in Neverland and finally made it home in good old Storybrooke…but we have a stowaway.

We open on bright, sunny Storybrooke and Belle is leading Ariel to where Gold had told her Prince Eric worked. When they find him, Eric is slicing fish like the French chef from the movie and Ariel is nervous to approach him.

Fortunately, he’s excited to see her and they kiss. Which I imagine will be important later otherwise I’m not sure what this scene is doing here. While Belle pats herself on the back for a job well done, she looks up and sees the Jolly Roger sail out of the sky and land in Storybrooke.

As the crew steps into the sunlight, they are greeted by hugs and cheers from the whole town (except Ruby). Alas, there are no hugs for Regina. She just sadfaces in the back.

After the Lost Boys exit the ship, out comes Wendy, still in her nightgown and bathrobe. John and Michael, though now fully grown, hug their little big sister and it’s a lovely family reunion.

David and Mary Margaret are rejoicing that he didn’t spontaneously combust like Hook’s brother did, when suddenly Mary Margaret shouts out for everyone to thank Regina, too, because they couldn’t have done it without her.

We flash back to a time where the two women didn’t get along quite so well. It’s Snow White and Prince Charming’s wedding day, the day Evil Queen Regina swore to destroy their happiness. Snow is raging about Regina, but Charming tries to calm her down and convinces her to go on their honeymoon anyway. When Grumpy gets Snow alone and asks if that’s really the best idea, Snow tells him not to worry, she plans on multitasking and making this a romantic AND productive vacation.

In Storybrooke, Henry-Pan (that is to say, Pan in Henry’s body) throws Felix under the bus, reminding everyone that he should probably be locked up, muttering under his breath to Felix that it’s just so they trust him. The next order of business is locking Pandora’s Box up tight under a floorboard in Gold’s shop using a spell that only Rumple himself can break.

After everyone clears out, Belle asks Rumple what he wants to do now that he’s not so dead after all, and he says that all he knows is that he wants to be with her. I thought for sure he was about to propose ,but they just looked longingly into each others’ eyes.

There’s a welcome home party at Granny’s for the gang, at which Emma presents Henry-Pan with his big book of fairytales. When there isn’t so much as a flash of recognition, Emma starts to get suspicious that something is up.

Across the diner, Regina leads Tinkerbell over to Blue, and Regina orders her to give Tink her wings back. Blue scoffs and says 1) She doesn’t take orders from Regina anymore and 2) if Tink doesn’t even believe in herself enough to get a tiny vial of pixie dust to work, why should Blue believe in her?

Flash back to Fairytale land, where Snow White takes Charming to her “summer palace” that was just lying around, unused. Charming tries to remove Snow’s cloak but she says not so fast. He goes out to stable the horses and Snow reveals that she had been wearing her fighting clothes. She straps some weapons to her back and hops out the window. She doesn’t get very far, however, before running into Charming, who knew exactly what she was up to. She asks him how he knew and he tells her that she is literally the worst liar ever.

Snow admits that she is on the hunt for a legend she heard about once called Medusa. Snow wants to cut off her head and turn Regina to stone. Charming knows it’s useless to try to stop her, so he says he’s coming with.

In Storybrooke, when Emma tells Henry-Pan it’s time for bed, he asks to stay with Regina instead. I was really hoping he was going to suggest they all just live together, but alas. Emma looks suspiciously after them as though maybe her human lie detector superpower isn’t totally broken after all.

At Casa Mills, Henry-Pan asks Regina about her vault and her magic. She thinks it’s a little weird that he’s asking questions he knows the answers to, but chalks it up to PTSD and promises she’ll protect him no matter what. She tucks him in, but as soon as she’s out of sight, he hops out of bed and whispers creepily out his window, causing Shadowman to transform from the (unattended) magic sail to fly right into the heart of Storybrooke.

The next day at Granny’s, Rumple walks in and gives David an elixir for his dreamshade poisoning. This makes him so happy he wants to start making babies as soon as possible, but Mary Margaret is distracted by the sight of Neal sitting in the next booth. He had asked Emma out on a lunch date, but it is clear that she was standing him up. Like the good meddling parents they are, Mary Margaret sends David to go see what’s keeping Emma.

David finds Emma staring forlornly out into the water and tries to convince her to go on the date. She’s a little more concerned about her newly rescued son acting strange, but he convinces her to give Neal a chance anyway. Emma asks if this is just a way to keep her away from Hook, and Charming says, “Are you asking if I’m interested in Hook? I’m a married man!” Which is not a no, for the record.

Across town, Hook sidles up to Tink and tries to turn on the charm. Tink, however, is very, very uninterested, but her shut down is interrupted by a piercing scream. Half of Storybrooke runs towards the scream to see Blue being chased by the Shadowman. They’re too late, though, because Shadowman rips Blue’s shadow from her body, leaving her quite dead. Since Pan is the only one who can control his shadow, they now know that Pan is back.

Back in time, in Fairytale Land, Snow and Charming walk into Medusa’s lair, eyes down, trying to find the creature. They run and fight and try, unsuccessfully, to chop off her head, and eventually Charming gets caught and turned to stone. Which would be a little more stressful if it weren’t a flashback from a time where both people were very much flesh and blood.

In Storybrooke, Emma pulls Regina aside and tries to warn her to watch out for Henry being a little shady. Regina gets defensive and thinks Emma is just saying that because he asked for her for once, and reminds her who soothed him when he had nightmares for the first ten years of his life. Regina tells Emma that she is perfectly capable of comforting their son (yes, she says “our son” again). Henry-Pan’s plan worked, because after his shadow made an appearance, Regina takes him right into her magic vault, blissfully unaware of the mischievous look on his face.

Back in time, Snow is about to attack Medusa when Evil Queen Regina appears in the reflection of a discarded shield, mocking her and her stone boyfriend. She tells her, “I can barely tell the difference.” Get it? Because he’s boring? However, the Evil Queen fell victim to the infamous backfiring-gloating-speech because it inspired Snow to use the shield in the age-old trick of making Medusa look at herself, turning her to stone and making Charming real again.

Present-day Storybrooke, Emma, her parents, Rumple and Belle all take Pandora’s Box and drive to the town line. Emma and her gun cross over the line and Rumple releases Pan-Henry, who immediately calls out, “Mom?”

They do the classic “proof you’re real” dance and Pan-Henry eventually convinces Emma he’s the real deal, even though Rumple was shouting SHOOT HIM SHOOT HIM over everything being said. As they hug, David wonders aloud where the real Pan is even though Pan-Henry already said they swapped bodies.

Meanwhile, in Regina’s vault, Henry-Pan is thanking Regina for protecting him, coaxing her into a big hug. While they’re hugging, he grabs a bottle from the wall behind them and uses whatever is in it to knock Regina out cold. The rest of the Neverland Crew meets up with the Charming clan at the vault, magic coconut in hand in case the Shadowman comes back. Emma looks extremely worried about Regina, but plays it off like she’s upset she can’t shoot Pan-Henry because he’s in Henry’s body, and that she’s the Savior and can never get a day off.

When Rumple finally magics them into the vault, they find Regina unconscious. When they help her come to, she scolds herself for falling for it, saying that she wanted to believe that Henry still needed her so badly, that she overlooked all the signs. Pan-Henry steps forward and says he does still need her, and she gets the real hug she had been after before.

Rumple interrupts the love-fest to ask Regina where The Curse is, and they all look to see the very open box where it once was. Outside, turning the scroll with The Curse over in his hands, Henry-Pan tells a newly jailbroken Felix of his plan to implement The Curse yet again, but this time, put themselves in charge. (Though why he wants to rule a town of misfit fairytale characters he just met is beyond me.)

What did you think of “The New Neverland”?

Here are some of our favorite #queerytales tweets from this week:

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