“The Returned” recap (1.3): The Lesbians We Were Promised


This episode opens seven years in the past. A woman dressed like Catwoman approaches a woman dressed like Batman outside. Batman tries to persuade Catwoman to stay at the party. But the promise of sleep after a long work shift is no match for Batman. Plus she saw Snow White eyeing her upstairs, so Batman won’t be alone. Before they go their separate ways they kiss.


Finally, it took two whole episodes to get to the lesbians we have all been promised. As Catwoman walks away, Batman tries one last time, “Come on, Julie.” But alas, her lover ditches her and heads home. Batman takes off her mask to reveal it is Laure, Thomas’s right hand lady. Julie walks home along the same path as the ill-fated Lucy. The exact same scene plays out as she is approached by a hooded stranger and stabbed repeatedly in the abdomen as fireworks go off in the distance.


Back to present day, Julie is attending Mr. Costa’s funeral. Mademoiselle Payet, aka Miss Nosy, runs up to her and asks if she brought Victor. Sure lady, it would be totally normal to bring a kid who has no affiliation with the deceased to his funeral. As Julie tries her best to walk away from her, she passes Thomas and Laure as they speak to Pierre. Pierre proceeds to make the rounds like he is the town’s mayor. He talks to the pastor then congratulates Adele on her recent nuptials. He then heads over to Lena and Claire to see how Camille has been doing. They discuss the possibility that there may be more like Camille. Lena shares that she thinks she met “one” at The Lake Pub. Pierre promises to try and get some dirt on Simon and warns Claire that Camille should still remain in hiding. Her best attempts failed, Julie stands next to Mademoiselle Payet as she yammers on and on. Suddenly she brings up Lucy’s attack and how she was brutally stabbed just like the incident seven years ago. Julie, sickened, runs away right past Laure and Thomas. The service begins and the pastor talks about, Vivian, the love of Mr. Costa’s life and how she parted this world too soon. As he speaks Viviane watches the service from behind her own tombstone which states she died in 1978 at the age of 45.


Camille asks Jerome for a cigarette. After a brief pause and an always funny joke about cancer, he gives in to her request. They discuss his separation from Claire, which Camille has known about even with their lame attempts to cover it up. He tells her things were complicated after the accident and Lena was especially affected. With that, Camille goes upstairs to visit with her sister. She enters the room as Lena is changing and sits on her bed. Camille then delivers what appears to be a backhanded compliment about how pretty Lena is and how the boys must love her. Without skipping a beat, she then asks if she slept with Frederic. Lena says they aren’t together and Camille asks her why not since you both like each other. Lena brings up an agreement between them, but Camille tells her she was free from abiding to it after the accident. I am sensing a love triangle. Lena changes the subject and offers to go to the pub after school to try and locate Simon. Come on now, Lena, like you need an excuse to go to the pub. As Lena turns to put on a shirt, Camille notices a large scar between her shoulder blades. She questions how it came to be and Lena asks her to leave.


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