Two lesbians and a nun walk into a bar…


One of the most common traits people list in the "about me" section of their online profiles is "I like to laugh." Really? Gee, you're special!

Well, if you like to laugh, you'll want to catch Oxygen's 50 Funniest Women Alive countdown show, which premieres this Saturday night. The special will feature never-before-seen interviews and clips of hilarity from sitcom players, stand-ups, movie stars and sketch comedians such as Ellen Degeneres, Whoopi Goldberg, Mo'nique and Teri Hatcher.

Teri Hatcher? Uh, what? Was Kathy Lee Gifford not available?

Okay, Teri Hatcher is a fine actress – Desperate Housewives fans please stand down. But if we're talking about the top, the best of the best, I have to object. Other "funniest women" on the show (according to the website): Amanda Bynes, Regina King, Chelsea Handler. What? No Carol Burnett, Roseanne Barr, Kathy Najimy or Wanda Sykes?

Comedy has historically been the playground of men- any list of top comics (usually compiled by a man) is usually so bereft of women, you can count their names on one hand. I'd expect a better list from a women's network.

It's not clear whether Carol and Wanda made the cut-all 50 names aren't shown on the website. We can only hope.

Meanwhile, here are some of my picks, were it up to me.

Amy Sedaris, Strangers with Candy: "Hello, I'm Jerri Blank and – and

I'm an alcoholic. I'm also addicted to amphetamines as well as main

line narcotics. Some people say I have a sex addiction, but I think

all those years of prostitution was just a means to feed my ravenous

hunger for heroin. It's kinda like the chicken or the nugget. The

point is, I'm addicted to gambling. Thank you."

Sarah Silverman on the movie 300: "They got the name 300 by measuring

how gay it was on a scale from 1 to 10."

Margaret Cho on her sexuality: "And I went through this whole thing,

you know. I was like, 'Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized I'm

just slutty. Where's my parade?'"

Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley, Absolutely Fabulous:

Eddie: Where's my thing? You know, my thing… my vibrating thing…

Patsy: Right by your bedside drawer, darling.

Eddie: Not that, my beeper, my beeper…

Patsy: Oh.

[fishes inside her skirt]

Patsy: Here.

Eddie: Keep it. I don't want it now.


Check out Oxygen's list here. Who do you think should have made the cut but didn't?