Archive

“The Good Wife” recap (4.17): Invitation to an Inquest

Before we get into it, I’ll tell you straight up: this episode of the The Good Wife was compelling in a sleuth-y lawyer-y type of way, but it was one of the least queer episodes I’ve seen in a while. No kickass female guest stars, no advancement of Kalinda and Cary, and no Kalinda-Alicia time. Although the last one should be a given, as they apparently hardly speak to each other anymore, let alone share sexy drinks at the bar. We just get lots of rich white people cheating on each other and getting themselves all killed and shit, storylines I never, ever see on my TV!

We also get the return of Lex Luther, and Alicia in a damn foxy red dress. Okay, so both of those are good. The foxy red dress is really, really good. And Lex Luther isn’t necessarily good, of course, but man, is that guy a creep, and a good creep is fun to hate!

So let’s begin. Here’s the upside of our opening sequence this week: Andrew Bird is playing in the background, and Andrew Bird is the best! Have you ever seen him in concert? He does all these things with looping, and the most impressive whistling, and…right, the rest of the opening is a bummer. We get to see a dead guy, election results coming in with Peter and Maddie neck in neck, and Zac making out with some girl who I guess is his girlfriend. I hate when we have to pretend to care about the kids! Not that I hate children as a whole or anything, but they are so flimsily developed that anytime they come on screen I feel like I’m being forced to watch two-dimensional paper dolls, just waiting until they blow away.

Luckily, Alicia arrives home to keep a monitoring eye on Zac and his lady friend for approximately 30 seconds before a call whisks her away from home again. Phew! You can go back to making out now, kids! Mom has to go comfort the wife of a judge, the judge being the dead guy we saw in the opening sequence. He’s been killed in a car accident, and the insurance lawyer’s being a real dick about releasing their life insurance money.  Since the car accident was a result of recklessness (supposedly), which isn’t covered under their policy, Jerk Insurance Lawyer says he’ll only release 10% of the $2 million policy. Alicia replies, “Nope!” And we’re whisked into the chilly basement of the morgue to start an inquest with the coroner to determine the cause of death.

When I hear the word inquest, I think of people rushing into battle on horseback with swords and lots of pigheaded valor and stuff, but I guess that’s an inquisition and an inquest really is just talking about dead people. So, that’s a bit of a disappointment.

In the Lockhart Gardner offices, Cary is called into Will and Diane’s office for some hearty congratulations, as Cary has single handedly brought in a huge account to the firm! An account Cary clearly has absolutely no idea about whatsoever! But hey, he thinks, maybe I’m just more awesome than I even knew! The client’s waiting in his office for him! Gee golly, he says; thanks, guys! He walks to his office, feeling pretty good about this strange turn of karma, and, alas. Turns out this mystery client is just plain old Lex Luther, otherwise known as Dad.

Dad is apparently now lobbying for this big pharmaceutical company and he wants Cary and Lockhart Gardner to help them with some relatively stupid political move, because big pharmaceutical companies are the worst. He also apologizes for being so manipulative and horrible to him last time they met, in less words; Cary says sure, OK, whatever. So the question is, just how badly will Lex screw him over THIS time? I think of Cary’s dad as the ultimate Internet troll, attempting to look all intentional and Like a Real Person on the outside, while inside, they are full of nothing but poison and rot. And I’m sure it will be no different this time.

We also soon learn that Peter Florrick has indeed beat out Maddie Hayward in the Democratic bid for governor, so Eli gets to do his little Rejoicing Eli Dance, with his trademark Really Smug Face. He also tells Peter over the phone that now they can actually get rid of that pesky Jordan fellow. Peter obviously must tell him he doesn’t agree; Eli says, “Look, if you want this relationship to work, you need to take my emotions seriously. Do you care about me at all? He doesn’t even love you like I do!” Jordan then sneaks up behind him and embraces him for the briefest, best awkward hug.

The Eli-hating-Jordan storyline is old news, though, and I’m also a little disappointed we don’t get to see Maddie Hayward’s reaction to the election news. I at least wanted a really snarky concession speech. Also, remember that time she was a lesbian and we never got to see her smooch with a girl? Or do anything with a girl other than be a horrible friend to Alicia? What wasted opportunity.

As the rest of the office celebrates, Jordan then says, “Let’s now move on immediately to the next campaign issue because I am a killjoy.” The next campaign issue happens to be Zac’s lady friend, who is not only black, but Muslim. (Gasp!) This is relevant because she also posted this picture of her and Zac with her family online, and after looking into some of her relatives from the photo, as one naturally does anytime someone is Not White (right?), Jordan discovers one of them contributed money to a terrorist group in 2008! (Gasp!)

Jordan and Eli call Zac in to inform him that he needs to start thinking about ALL his relationships in terms of his father’s campaign, including his lady friends. Which is normal and healthy for a teenager. You gotta do what you gotta do, right? Jordan also says that the girlfriend tweeted the photo when that is obviously an Instagram post; get your Internet facts straight, Jordy! But anyway, it’s all a set up by Eli because he makes Jordan do all the talking, while he knows full well that Alicia (and accordingly Peter) will get pissed off when she learns about it (which she really does), and then Jordan will take the fall (which he does). The one good part about this storyline is that hot damn is Alicia hot when she storms into the office and gives Jordan the smackdown. Except since she’s no dummy, she soon realizes she’s being played by Eli, and gives him the smackdown, too. Which he should really be used to by now.

Jordan does indeed end up getting the boot near the end of the episode, during which he gives Eli a great little speech about how he has no soul and will die alone, to which Eli seems to gleefully agree. So other than to be an extra thorn in Eli’s side while he was being investigated by the DOJ, what really was the point of having Jordan in this season at all? He was never developed very clearly, and while we never hated him like Eli did, we also never necessarily felt more of an affinity for him as Pete’s #1 over Eli. But in any case, bye bye, T.R. Knight.

Back to the inquest, which has taken lots of loopy turns–it was a reckless death, an accidental death, a homicide!–but the best part about the whole storyline is Robyn and Kalinda starting to work together in earnest, and oh man, do I love them together. As opposed to the Jordan partnership with Eli, we really do trust the smarts of this girl right away, and while still not swaying any of our Kalinda loyalty, we already love having her on the team. Or at least I do! And perhaps the one queer moment of the episode shows up when the two of them arrive at a motel where the dead guy spent some of his last hours before meeting his end. As they walk up to the counter, the awkward clerk behind the desks asks, “Do you two need a room?” They share a look: Robyn amused, Kalinda horrified.

Ha! Robyn then begins to organize a bunch of the pamphlets sitting on the counter, OCD-like, as Kalinda begins her questioning, and the skeptical glances Kalinda throws her way almost reach the height of skeptical glances she threw at Elsbeth, but not quite.

Robyn really isn’t an idiot, though; it’s clear she has the same quick observation skills Kalinda does. What she does lack, however, is Kalinda’s prowess in badassery. This is soon brilliantly displayed when they track down a trucker who might have more information on other cars that were on the road that night. He says sure, I saw something. What do I get for telling you? Robyn says nervously, “Uh, a clear conscience for doing the right thing?” Aw, you little butterfly. Trucker guy says, yeah, but what else do I get? Wink wink, nudge nudge. Kalinda walks a few feet away and with a perfectly curled finger in her black leather gloves, calls him over. He trudges over with a grin. Robyn stands by herself, befuddled. Kalinda leans into his ear and whispers, a sultry looking move, and how I wish I could hear exactly what was wafting through her husky voice into his eardrum! But obviously, whatever it was was not what he was expecting, and the effect was immediate.

He and Kalinda return to Robyn, and he curtly and soberly relays the information they need. Robyn is even more befuddled at this point, but glad for the info. It seems like they’re done here, and Kalinda clears her throat. He quickly adds, “And I’m sorry for the way I talked to you before.”

And OK, this is even better than Alicia’s forthcoming foxy dress. This is the Kalinda we know and love, bringing down misogynist pigs like sacks of potatoes with one silky whisper! Robyn begs her to tell her what she said to him as they drive away. Kalinda just looks at her. As if she would ever reveal her secrets! Also is someone making gifs yet of Robyn’s facial expressions? Because I need them.

Back in the offices, a few other things are happening: Will and Alicia are still clearly struggling with their lust for one another; they decide to stop awkwardly avoiding each other as they have been since The Kiss, and just go back to being friends. Because poof, that can happen if you say it can, right? Definitely. Yes, I think that is how emotions work.

Lex Luther is also being a super weird dad as expected; after bringing his business to Lockhart Gardner and making his son feel good about himself, he then makes him feel super shitty about not being a partner yet when Alicia’s one, and doubts his every decision in meetings. And yeah, maybe Cary’s being a little extra snippy about things, but not enough for Lex to then go to Diane and basically tattle on him, and then eventually say his company was going to pull their business altogether. So was this just a weird game to make your son look bad in front of his bosses? What kind of psychotic person ARE you, Lex/Dad? But Cary’s good at this game by now, whatever game this is. He snags the approval of the CEO of the big bad pharmaceutical company over his dad’s head, and brings their business BACK to Lockhart Gardner. And all of this really isn’t that interesting, but seriously, what a crappy dad.

As the episode wraps up, it’s proven that while lots of people were sleeping with lots of other people, which was important somehow, the real cause of dead guy’s death was a drunk driver, and the woman gets her full life insurance. So yay, or whatever. But more importantly, we finally get to see the foxy red dress.

Alicia assures Zac that he can date whoever he wants, Dad’s campaign or no, and he’s all, “Naw, I was gonna dump that chick anyway.” He also acts like it’s normal to be having a heart to heart with his mom while she is looking so foxy. Alicia then heads off to a fancy St. Patrick’s Day Shamrock dinner that she’s wearing the foxy dress for. It appears that most of next episode will take place at this dinner, where both Will and Peter will be and where there will probably be Feelings taking place. Also, more dress.

What did you think of this episode? Where do you think things are headed for Alicia? Are you also in love with Robyn? And what do you think Kalinda whispered in that man’s ear?

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Back to top button