Nuns are suddenly all the rage again. From Sister Jude on American Horror Story: Asylum to Isabelle Huppert’s Sapphic leanings in The Nun, it’s time to talk ladies of the cloth. So, team, who is your favorite sister?
Dara Nai: I give the old movie, Two Mules for Sister Sara, two rosary-clutching thumbs up, mostly because Shirley MacLaine plays Sister Sara, a cigar-smoking, whiskey-drinking nun who runs around 1800s Mexico with a cynical mercenary (a pre-chair-talking Clint Eastwood), fighting the French. She uses him and abuses him, handles him and bandages him, and ultimately outwits him when she reveals her secret at the end of the film. I won’t reveal what it is, but if you know this movie, you know it’s awesome. Dorothy Snarker: Didn’t Jodie Foster play a one-legged nun in The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys? I never saw the movie, but by description alone, I’d say we have a winner. Punky Starshine: I always had a fondness for Sister Mary Robert from Sister Act, because she was so quiet and innocent and kind and optimistic but then SURPRISE. She could BELT. I also for some reason loved that her little bangs poked out from under her habit. Wait, did I have a crush on Sister Mary Robert when I was little? It’s possible, and probably because I went to Catholic school my whole life and all of the nuns I knew were wrinkly and old and smelled like mothballs (though they were all very sweet, albeit sometimes stern) and it was nice to see one so young and chipper. Sarah Terez Rosenblum: Sister Act was actually written for Bette Midler, but she passed. So I’m going with Bette in the imaginary version of Sister Act because a Jewish nun is hilarious.
Heather Hogan: If Julie Andrews had made it to official nun status in The Sound of Music, my answer would be Maria, of course. But since no one was able to catch her cloud and pin it down, I’m going with Aurora, the X-Men nun. First of all, she’s Canadian, so that’s ten bonus cool points right there. Second of all, she’s got a super complicated relationship with her superpowers. She thinks they’re a gift from God and then she realizes she’s a Mutant and pretty soon she’s formed two different personalities to deal with the mental chaos. Her teacher/nun personality is all stern and repressed, but her superhero personality is all carefree and flying around at the speed of light. Plus, her other superpower is the ability to shine her own light onto people and give them inner peace. That’s like the greatest power ever, right? DC has done her dirty in recent years – which: big surprise – but her elemental awesomeness makes her one hell of a badass nun. Erika Star: Sister Mary Clarence, obvi. Deciding between Whoopi and Raven now. Lucy Hallowell: All right, I will try to set aside my abject terror at the sight of all nuns and go with Maggie Smith as Mother Superior from Sister Act. She’s basically McGonagall in a wimple. Marcie Bianco: S&M originated with Isabella from Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure”– no, no, not really. My favorite nuns are those nuns on the bus from that weirdo opening to The L Word episode “Lobsters.” Now that’s how to spend a bus ride. Dana Piccoli: I went to all girls catholic high school, so nuns were a part of my formative years. Its so hard to narrow down my favorite, but it was between the Sister who told us everyday in American History that the end of the world was upon us, and the 95-year-old Sister who rode an electric scooter down the halls handing out JUGS. (Justice Under God. Detentions, people.)
Grace Chu: Whoever liberated the spark plug from the Nazi-mobile in “The Sound of Music.”
Bridget McManus: Lindsay Lohan as “The Sister” in Machete. This is the role she was born to play. Trish Bendix: Ellen DeGeneres guest starred as Sister Louise on Will & Grace, where Grace sold her a car she thought was a lemon. Sister Louise was hilarious, but it was also kind of sad that her parents took her to a nunnery at the age of three. Your turn! Which nun is the most fun?
