“Pretty Little Liars” recap 3.22: Hastings, Interrupted


Aria decides the best way to help Ezra is to complete his emasculation and ask her dad to give him a job. She’s visits him in his study and puts on her sweetest face and says, “Listen, I know this town has an exemplary record of employing adults to work with students, what with Meredith the history teacher who konked me over the head and locked me in my basement and Harold the janitor who built a shrine to Mona in the basement and, well, you, but I was wondering if you can get Ezra a job. Until someone commodifies feelings, he’s flat broke.”

Spencer is slouched on a Radley couch, fully out of fucks to give about her sister, who cries and cries and says all these years when Spencer was stealing her boyfriends and beating her at hide-and-seek and murdering her husband and stashing him in a barn and texting as his ghost, she thought Spencer was just being an asshole. She didn’t know she was medically insane. Spencer shrugs, says, “I guess knowing is a relief for both of us, then,” and Melissa runs out of the room in tears to go call their “parents,” who are trapped in the Out of Town portal between Great Britain and Spain.

The best part of this episode to me is Spencer trying to figure out whether or not she’s actually bananas and/or whether or not her life will be easier if she just lets go and allows the banananess to swallow her whole. Watching her unravel all these weeks, it’s just proof that these questions about her sanity have been lurking in her periphery for her whole entire Hastings life. She got the original question right: A was Toby, and now she’s spent two years of her life getting every other question wrong because she didn’t know she guessed correctly the very first time. But finding out she was right about that meant she was wrong about something way worse, and so she stopped holding the world together for just a second because she couldn’t wrap her brain around how wrong being right felt and someone she loved died. Is she crazy now? Was she crazy then? Can she just go crazy if she stops fighting? Will she be able to breathe then?

Emily convenes a meeting of the Liars at the Brew to tell them the good news/bad news of the last 24 hours. Good: Spencer is alive. Bad: She’s locked up at Radley. Before they can dive into the whositswhatsits, A texts a police car video screencap of Wilden and Ashley clenching their fists at each other on that abandoned road before she smashed him with her car.

Eddie visits Spencer with some meds — shotgun antibiotics, not tranquilizers. She’s getting evaluated in 72 hours and she doesn’t need to be tripping balls when she tries to convince her assessment team that she’s not insane. Little does Eddie know that the Radley Board of Directors consists solely of Anne and Wren, one of whom is very pretty but the worst therapist in the history of the world, and the other of whom is very pretty but likes Spencer best when she’s unhinged/intoxicated. As Eddie is bidding her a fond good evening, Spencer notices Eddie’s name badge. Eddie is Eddie Lamb. E Lamb. E Lamb.

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