Vanity Fair will be devoting their January 2013 issue to comedy and those who practice it best, a first for the magazine. While I support this idea wholeheartedly, there are a few kinks with the issue we need to discuss, because this is the Internet, and we can. First off: Vanity Fair teamed with 60 Minutes to create a poll about things that make us laugh, and like most polls penned by 60 Minutes, the results are weird. The main one we need to bitch about is this: 60% of those polled believe men are funnier than women.
Oh, I’m sorry. Did you say something? I couldn’t hear, because I was busy repeatedly slamming my head into a wall and wondering why the hell we’re still asking this question. I mean, if you want us to get over that Christopher Hitchen‘s editorial years ago (I never will), we as a society need to just stop. asking. this. question. Yes, I in fact do think women are uproariously funny, and it does bother me that 54% of the women polled for this question apparently think that men are funnier than they are. But I also think a whole lot of dudes are funny. And why did Vanity Fair separate the polling answers to male/female responses, anyway? It only fuels the notion that the difference between the sexes is eternal and all-important, that it somehow matters to the world if dudes think Seinfeld is funnier than Friends and vice versa. I grew up on Seinfeld, and I bet your ass tons of men still watch and laugh at Friends re-runs on TBS. We’re all funny, and we all like to laugh! Anyone with a brain knows that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are ruling the comedy world right now alongside all their (also funny) bros, so who the hell cares!
Note: Imagine me saying all that with a curse inserted between every other word, and you’ll get a truer sense of how fed up I am with this question.
But polls, at their core, are usually meaningless and meant to rile, so I told myself to get over it. Then they came out with the three different covers that will grace newsstands nationwide starting on December 11. Now, I understand there are a lot of funny people in the world right now, and it’s hard to fit all of them onto three covers, as Judd Apatow, editor for the issue, lamented. (One last thing about the poll: 64% had no idea who Judd Apatow was. Who are these people?) They do get props for having Amy Poehler front and center in the first cover, and for showing other wonderful ladies who deserve to be there, such as Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, and Melissa McCarthy. Although it’s also important to note that Melissa McCarthy is literally dressed as a clown, shoved into the background behind the scantily clad Leslie Mann, furthering the stereotype that skinny funny women can be sexy and edgy, while larger funny women are, well, clowns. Also, since this is a Best of Comedy in the ’90s issue, other cover slots are taken up by Jim Carrey, Jerry Seinfeld, and Ben Stiller. Wait, this isn’t a Best of the ’90s issue? Nevermind, I don’t get it then.
Other things I don’t get: finishing out our line of cover ladies is Megan Fox. Huh? Now, I must admit that I haven’t seen the majority of things Megan Fox has been in; I did hear she was hilarious in Diablo Cody‘s Jennifer’s Body, and she does have a role in Judd Apatow’s newest, This Is 40. (Which I’m sure, along with her looks, had nothing to do with her being on the cover.) But to me, a comedian isn’t just someone who can play funny roles in movies; that’s acting and direction and writing. A pure funny lady is, well, funny, on screen and off. And when I think of funny ladies, I think of a whole lot of people, but Megan Fox is never one of them.
So without further ado, let’s take a look at some of the really, really funny ladies who should have been on the cover instead. I decided to stick with 20 because it’s a good number, but I agonized over the 20 and know it’s a very incomplete list. I also tried to stick to women I thought were particularly relevant in 2012. (My apologies in advance to Janeane Garofalo.)I should also note that I honestly didn’t try to make this a super lesbian list; it just turns out that a lot of the funniest women today happen to be lesbians. Just putting that out there, world. You decide what to make of it.
20. Sarah Silverman I’m only including her at the bottom of my list because her name IS included on the cover, which is something, but I want to see her face, darnit! Sarah Silverman is the most outrageously honest human being on the planet, to extraordinarily odd degrees. Nothing she says is fake; it is often gross and sometimes offensive, but it is unapologetically her, and it always, always makes me laugh. For one tiny example, this weekend she tweeted about her itchy asshole. And I loved it.
19. Funny Women of YouTube: Hannah Hart; Garfunkel & Oates
If this Vanity Fair issue really wanted to document comedy in the year 2012, I really, really hope they mentioned YouTube, as it has become a remarkable springboard for young comedians to create huge, loyal fanbases. Hannah Hart has created a veritable career out of cooking shit when she’s drunk! Think about how awesome that is for a second! And if you haven’t heard a Garfunkel & Oates tune this year, you are sorely missing out. In fact, Garfunkel & Oates have landed themselves an HBO series, to air soon. And they’re only a handful of the smart women doing funny things on the interwebs and being mad successful at it.
18. Mindy Kaling After Mindy Kaling’s huge successes with The Office and her bestseller, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, news of her own TV series this fall was met with enthusiasm from all funny lady fans across the nation. And while The Mindy Project has definitely been met with disappointment by many, the fact is, it’s still the first mainstream show with an Indian American woman at its front, and a charmingly funny one at that, and Kaling deserves serious props for making that happen.
17. Amy Schumer I feel somewhat ashamed that I had never heard of Schumer until I saw her on Comedy Central’s Roast of Roseanne earlier this year, but she was undoubtedly one of my favorite parts of the program even though she stood next to more experienced comedy giants on stage. Soon after this roast she had her own stand up special on Comedy Central (Mostly Sex Stuff), and it essentially seems like she tours like hell, gaining fans at each spot. See if she’s coming to a town near you.
16. Amy Sedaris
Amy hasn’t done anything huge this year acting wise other than the occasional guest appearance (The Good Wife, 30 Rock). But when I went holiday shopping this weekend I still saw her amazing books I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence and Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People on display and they still made me smile, and her simple existence still makes our lives better.
15. Joan Rivers
Always. She is a queen.
14. Rebel Wilson One of the least-talked-about best parts of Bridesmaids in 2011 was that it introduced American viewers to Rebel Wilson, a success that was followed up this year with her roles in Bachelorette and Pitch Perfect. And while I didn’t actually see either of these movies, I watched her telling Conan O’Brienthat her bling-y gold necklace proclaiming BITCH belonged to her grandma, and that single moment was pretty much all I needed.
13. Rachel Dratch
It’s obviously been a bit of time since her SNL days, but Dratch still belongs on this list as she released her memoir Girl Walks Into a Bar… this year, and in the Age of Funny Ladies Writing Funny Memoirs (Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling, Chelsea Handler), I feel like this one didn’t get the full attention it deserved. So give love to Rachel Dratch. Read her book.
12. Fortune Feimster While Fortune has been making AfterEllen.com readers laugh for years (Brunch With Bridget, Is This Awesome?), it seems she’s finally starting to get wider recognition of her talent. After being a dedicated full time staffer at Chelsea Lately, Feimster is set to write, co-produce, and co-star in a new comedy for ABC called Discounted, about two half-sisters running a furniture store. Count everyone here way in.
11. Aubrey Plaza
The best thing about April Ludgate on Parks and Recreation is that, from what I understand, she essentially plays herself. She continues her effortlessly hip, perfectly deadpan humor off the screen, and I am sort of in love with her but who isn’t? She also starred in the indie success Safety Not Guaranteed this year, and I look forward to watching her in even more roles in years to come.
10. Kate McKinnon After already winning our hearts on The Big Gay Sketch Show (and Vag Magazine and all of her AfterEllen vlogs), it seems generally accepted that Kate McKinnon is now the best thing about SNL post-Kristen-Wiig, the type of comedian that lets you gratefully still keep a thread of belief in the iconic cultural American tradition that SNL once was and should continue to be. She flawlessly took on such roles as Ellen, Ariana Huffington, and Ann Romney this season, and I can’t wait for her to keep on kicking majorly funny ass.
9. Retta I’ll just say it: Retta Tweets TV contains more gold than any TV recap I ever have or ever will write. Highlights include commentary on Glee, The Vampire Diaries, Nashville, Buffy, and even her own Parks and Rec. Seriously, pure gold.
8. Margaret Cho
Photo courtesy of NBC
As if she hasn’t done enough with her life yet, Margaret Cho currently has a steady role on the TV show Drop Dead Diva and also earned an Emmy nod this year for her guest role on 30 Rock as Kim Jong-Il. Oh, and she just garnered a Grammy nomination for her comedy record, Cho Dependent: Live in Concert. And she’s currently chugging along on another comedy tour entitled Mother. Basically, I’m not quite sure when she sleeps.
7. Wanda Sykes There is no one like Wanda Sykes, and we should be grateful for her every day. Because praise the lord, we need lesbians of color calling the world on their shit and making us laugh while they do it.6. Ladies of The Daily Show: Samantha Bee, Kristen Schaal, and Jessica Williams
Now, I love Jon Stewart something fierce, but I don’t think even he would deny that there is absolutely nothing better on his program than Samantha effing Bee. I have never seen a single Samantha Bee segment where I didn’t 1) laugh my ass off, and 2) exclaim, “YES! Yes! Exactly!” While she is undoubtedly the, er, Queen Bee (sorry, I couldn’t stop it), Kristen Schaal and newcomer Jessica Williams are also absolutely fantastic. Their combined coverage of the GOP convention and the election in general this year were full of win.
5. Jane Lynch
She is everything.
4. Megan Mullally
My wife said this after watching this week’s episode of Parks and Rec: “I didn’t think there could ever be a better or funnier character than Karen in Will & Grace, but she’s somehow created one. How can she just keep getting funnier?” It’s hard to answer that question, other than to say that she is simply the best. If you can’t get enough of her as Tammy Two, find a few clips of her playing the mother of Penny Hartz (played by Casey Wilson, yet another truly hilarious woman) on Happy Endings this year, particularly the one where the two sing Natalie Imbruglia‘s “Torn.”
If you think it sort of strange that Vanity Fair didn’t include the 2012 winner of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, and the only female comedian to lead a network talk show for 10 seasons, who has also been nominated for over 100 awards, winning 46 of them, on their cover about comedy–well, I would agree with you.2. Tina Fey No, seriously. She’s not on the cover. I know.
1. Tig Notaro You might be thinking that it’s weird I didn’t put Tina Fey at number one, or that I’m putting Tig Notaro over any of the women on this list. But in the end, Tig Notaro made my belly ache with laughter and my heart ache with hurt the most this year, and the ability to do both those things so well, simultaneously, requires a rare gem of talent. For the brief story, Tig Notaro began the year as a successful stand-up comic until these things happened: she contracted pneumonia and a life-threatening bacterial disease. Then her mom died in a freak accident. Then she went through a break up. Then she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Then she had a double mastectomy. All within four months. The day after she found out she had cancer, she performed a set at the Largo in Los Angeles where she decided to put aside all her planned jokes and just tell the audience about all this stuff. The set starts with her saying, “Hello! I have cancer. How are you?” And somehow, you are laughing already. Louis C.K., a generally acknowledged Really Popular Bro, called it one of the best performances he’d ever seen in his life, and in about an instant, it became the stuff of comedic legend. (You can hear part of it at NPR, and buy the whole set in Tig Notaro: Live.) Really, what Tig Notaro was able to do this year was at the heart of what comedy is supposed to be: she showed us the truth, in all its horrifying, ugly glory, and under the weight of its own ridiculousness, she made us laugh.
Your turn: who did I miss?
