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“Project Runway” recap: (10.13) The Final Countdown

It’s the best episode of the season, where the lucky final few suddenly and weirdly become Real People as we get glimpses into their personal lives, or at least the decor they keep on their walls and stuff. We meet Heidi and Tim on the runway with the Final Four, where they tell the designers that only three of them will make it to Fashion Week. The designers weakly pretend shock at this “news.”

I must discuss something here: I love reading the hilarious recaps done by the ladies at Bitch Magazine each week, and in their recap last week they revealed that this final-three-get-to-show-at-Fashion-Week bit is sort of a ruse. The final three are the only ones eligible of winning, but up to the FINAL EIGHT can create collections and show at Fashion Week. Bitch acted like this was common knowledge, but it certainly wasn’t to me! Did all of you know this, too? How do you feel about it?

I feel Not That Great about it. On the one hand, I’m really pumped that people like Sonjia and Elena will get to show at Fashion Week, as they deserve. But it also seems to cheapen the whole experience of the show. Like, what’s the point of this whole showdown? I know getting all the prizes you receive as the winner is most desired – who doesn’t want a new car? – but it definitely lessens the drama a little/a lot.

But alas, moving on, as there is a lot to get to, including Tim dressing in his finest Going to the Country attire to visit Christopher in Massapequa, New York.

It appears that Christopher still lives with his parents in the most stereotypically suburban household ever. While his parents do seem adorable and, as Italians, they shower everyone with pastries – a hard deal to walk away from – you should probably change this situation soon, Chris.

But this first home visit starts positively: Tim is excited by what he sees of Christopher’s collection. His inspiration comes from an X-ray taken of his mom’s back after a car accident, which he makes into a very literal print. And I have to say, I do think it’s sort of cool, particularly because I’m partial to all the sepia tones that fill this print. Tim gives the advice he often gives, to not be afraid to push his limits and up the “wow” factor, but he’s mainly full of encouraging words. Accordingly, they’re able to sit around the living room and have some tea with the fam and the boyfriend in ease.

Back to New York City to meet Fabio. I’m always slightly disappointed when designers live in New York City, even though it’s the most logical place for them to live. I just look forward to Traveling Tim so much. But I guess I forgive you Fabio, especially since you and your boyfriend are so cute! Fabio is full of nerves before Tim arrives, and Boyfriend gives him a hug to reassure him it’ll all be fine.

When Tim opens the door, he looks around at the completely ridiculous and swank Manhattan apartment he’s in, as equally flabbergasted as I am. I think an apartment like that would run you approximately five hundred gabillion dollars. He asks Fabio if he owns it, to which Fabio thankfully says, “Come on, Tim. Look at me.” Lolz, Fabio. Turns out it’s one of his friend’s father’s, who’s letting him use some of the space to work. Thank goodness for friends, right?

We get to meet Fabio’s mother who is overwhelmingly adorable and Brazilian. Warning: I will want to use the word “adorable” a whole bunch in this episode. Sorry not sorry, families just make me squee. We learn that Fabio hopped back and forth between Brazil and New York City from an early age, which is fascinating. Also, to be ADD, there is a really wonderful article on Rio in this month’s National Geographic and you should read it and who’s already so excited for the next Olympics because I am?!

Time for the important stuff though: the clothes. This is one of the wackiest Tim critiques I’ve ever seen, because when he first looks at Fabio’s pastel watercolor dresses he has laid out for him, he’s “captivated.” Fabio calls his collection “Cosmic Tribalism,” which seems very Fabio. But then as Tim starts seeing some of the further details of the outfits, suddenly he’s dismayed and confused. To the max. He says “to be blunt” a few times. And Fabio, while affected by all of Tim’s critiques as Fabio is a sensitive soul, also wants to stand up for his choices and doesn’t seem very willing to change all those details. Awkward party!

Now, to a hop and a skip away from New York, we head to Jersey City in the Jerz to meet Dmitry. Dmitry is also staying in a swanky apartment of a friend while the friend is in Spain. I apparently need more friends like these. I have also determined that with every single word Dmitry says, I love him more. He is so sincere and focused and Dmitry-ish. Swoon.

As for his collection, which is inspired by architecture, it seems to be full of some signature Dmitry moves, and full of black and white and fringe and sparkles and it seems well thought out. Tim is full of almost entirely good thoughts about it. Even the things he doesn’t like, he says he can see how they would work. It seems solid.

They then head to a patio out back, where they share some cookies and tea. Did Tim send out a memo that he really wanted to be served tea or something?

But, strangely, there is no one else at this Cookie and Tea party. No family, no friends. There’s always family and friends at the Home Visit! Dmitry doesn’t seem bothered by it, but it makes me perhaps disproportionately sad. As Dmitry tells his story of coming to America on his own from Belarus when he was 18, it seems that none of his family lives here, so, OK. But didn’t he have that good friend that came to visit him during that one challenge where they brought all the baby pictures and stuff? Is she the one that’s in Spain? You do have more than one friend, right, Dmitry? Can I come and hug you?

Shaking off my Dmitry Feelings, it’s time to head to the West Coast – holla! – to see Melissa in San Fran. She lives in a reasonable-but-nice-looking apartment that seems impeccably organized and sophisticated, very Home of An Artist type of deal. She shows some of her designs to Tim, who seems, again, quite pleased with them. Her collection “could not be more Melissa,” he says. And surprisingly, it does seem like there are a few bursts of color mixed in with the blacks. Otherwise, there’s not a lot of drama in the critique.

Overall, except for the slight Fabio fiasco, all the designers seem well prepared, perhaps because they only have a week until Fashion Week at this point, so they sort of have to be. I always do enjoy that one designer who’s hardly gotten anything done by Tim’s visit and is having a meltdown, though, so, that’s a little disappointing.

Speaking of disappointing, we then get to meet Melissa’s boyfriend.

And also her two proud parents from Michigan, as they take a windy boat ride. Melissa is from a small town and only learned to sew four years ago. That’s all the interesting information we learn. Eh.

So now, the real drama begins. Hello Fashion Week! They’re staying at a hotel called Yotel! I can’t decide if this is the best or worst name for a hotel ever!

In line with the amiable “aw shucks” vibe these Final Four have with each other, they walk around and admire each other’s collections once they’re together again in the workroom. This unveiling of each other’s work is often an intensely nerve-wracking performance, as the designers dart secret eyes at each other’s garments like hawks looking for prey. But these peeps are all, “Hey bro, nice work!” Melissa does suffer a self-esteem bomb though and questions if she’s pushed herself hard enough.

As they try to choose their three looks to show the judges and Tim comes in to check on them, I feel that Fabio’s is the most unique, in that it’s the most unexpected. He’s made small changes after Tim’s advice but mainly stuck with his guns. Tim clearly remains sort of baffled, but says simply that the judges will either hate it or love it, which is a true statement.

After some stressing, it’s finally runway time. Dmitry’s up first, and there are a lot of risks here that I’m worried about, such as a Whole Lot of Bra, and Arms Made of Fringe.

Next is Christopher, who I have to say I am surprisingly turned on by. All the looks seem way more badass on the models than they did by themselves. Although they all seem like rather short and skimpy outfits, and the whole time in the workroom he had been staring at this sweeping gown that seemed like it would be his final “wow” look for sure. I know they all had trouble fitting their models at the last minute, but why not do your best to make that work and show that? The judges NEED to be wowed at this point, and to know the range of your collection.

Then we have Fabio. Again, his stuff is definitely different. And while I wouldn’t want to wear any of it, I respect it for that reason alone.

Then Melissa, whose looks to me seem most solid. My mind also screamed SEX when that first one with the belly showing walked out. Maybe I am just feeling preoccupied with sex? Haha, nevermind me! *awkward laugh*

Judgment time. I enjoy that there’s no guest judge on this episode, that’s it’s just the core of the show, as it should be for the final decisions. We keep seeing that clip of Michael Kors saying that something is uuuuuuglyyyyy though, and I have no idea which designer it will be directed towards but I’m nervous.

We start with Fabio. Their views actually seem to reflect my own: they love that it’s different. They love that there’s color, and that the colors are kind of weird. And I’m sure Fabio’s heart must have done a happy dance when Michael Kors said that he loved the “demented shoes” that Tim so hated. They make him smile! They do have a few concerns about styling and overall taste level, but overall, I would be very pleased with that critique.

Now Dmitry, and guess what? They love the Arm of Fringe! Who knew! And they don’t seem to care much about All the Bra! In fact, they say that they can tell that he has worked extremely hard and that he has a lot of Ideas. His trouble is perhaps putting too many ideas together at once, which becomes more apparent to me the more they point it out. But if he works on his styling, he could be really great.

Christopher’s next, and they say, pretty colors (sepia is everything!), pretty print of your mother’s spine–well, Heidi calls it creepy, but creepy isn’t bad. But they do also say: boring. Like me, they ask why he sent out the skimpiest of the skimp and lacked any “wow” pieces whatsoever. Christopher seems sort of overwhelmed and doesn’t really know what to say. I can practically feel how muddled his brain is right now. In other news, while they were panning over his sheer top, we also got to see some major boob.

For Melissa, the critique is pretty much the same: these clothes are very you, and very cool, which is good, because cool is always good, but they’re also pretty boring. Nina seems particularly disappointed in everyone. You’re supposed to wow us, bitches! Also, all those horribly ugly comments from Michael Kors end up being about the wigs Melissa put on her models. Just the wigs! How you tease us, Project Runway!

As the designers head to The Room of Anxiety and Angst for the judges to have their talk, Heidi says she really doesn’t know how it’s going to go. All the designers are scared. Yay!

But here we go.

The designers are brought back out. And they’re told…they’re all going to Fashion Week. They all get to compete to win. They share a celebratory hug.

I’m happy? I guess? I would be happier if it was the situation of, “These four designers are all SO amazing that we can’t afford to lose any of them,” but it more seems like, “These four designers ALL have problems, so let’s just have all of them try.” And sometimes you gotta be harsh. But, again, since I knew they were all going to show anyway, apparently, this wasn’t a huge shocker.

What are your feelings? Whose collection did you like the most? Who do you think has the best chance of winning?

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