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Somer Bingham of “The Real L Word” talks backstabbing, bitchery and Babeland

Showtime’s hit series, The Real L Word, has brought us three seasons of hot lesbian action (and some not-so-hot lesbian drama). This season, the ladies in L.A. whom we’ve come to know, love and sometimes throw shade at, aren’t the only ones in the spotlight. New York has found its place in front of the cameras in the form of gal pal rockers Hunter Valentine.

The band has certainly given us more eye candy but they’ve also brought a lot of new drama and backstabbing to the table. We got to talk to one of the band’s newest members, keyboardist Somer Bingham, who has not only been at the very center of the inter-band drama, but who is also one of the most likeable cast member on the show thus far. She tells us what it’s like to have your life critiqued by passionate RLW fans, seeing your friends talk about you behind your back from the comfort of your living room, and even answers a few questions from some of our AfterEllen.com readers.

AfterEllen.com: How are you doing? Somer Bingham: Oh I can’t complain. I always over-caffeinate for interviews so I’m in a really good mood. I’m excited to talk to you!

AE: Yeah I’m excited to talk to you too! I think it’s kind of funny that you tweeted something recently about how truth can be too easily undermined by the vehicle in which it is delivered – and tagged it with things Nietzsche might say. Now, was that in reference to the show? Because it’s definitely one way to think about The Real L Word and reality TV in general. SB: Yeah. When we see something on a reality show, it doesn’t matter if it’s the truth. If you’re saying something bad about another person, or saying stuff behind each other’s backs, it always comes off poorly. I was always hyper-aware of that when I was doing interviews. I never wanted it to come off badly, even if I had a strong opinion about something. [Laughs] Instead of calling someone a bitch, I would say something like, “Well, we don’t see eye to eye today.” [Laughs]

AE: Sure that’s one way of putting it. Actually that’s funny because after the first episode I appeared on of Live Rude Girls, our recap show, which I know you saw, Kiyomi tweeted a response to our comment that the editing made her look like a bitch. While something (and I’m not sure if it was editing) continued to make her look like a bitch – I have to say that a bunch of years ago, I met her and she was actually very nice in person. But I also got a little bit embarrassed to think that any of you were watching us talk about you. Is it weird to have strangers talking about you and having such strong opinions about your life? SB: Oh, definitely. It is really weird to see people comment on your behavior and say I’m a douchey person who doesn’t wear makeup. I can be a brat and I do overreact about my equipment, so I can’t say, “Oh they made me look like a dick.” [Laughs] I mean, I can be a dick.

Kiyomi had some lows, and I had some lows. And when they interacted, it was like World War III. The thing that’s tricky is that we’re not characters and we’re not acting, [and we] can’t blame the director or producer for making us do things or writing things for us. It’s not like I’m Al Pacino and got cast in a really shitty role. Anything they show us doing and saying, we’re actually doing and saying. They might be splicing things from one day [with] another day, but they’re still things we said.

AE: It was really hard for me to watch most of the scenes where you and the rest of the band were interacting, or they were interacting behind your back. To me, it seemed almost like an abusive relationship with a girlfriend. It seems like you’re able to somehow be mature and rise above a lot of the bullshit and I don’t know how you do it. You obviously had history with Kiyomi before the show, but how does it feel to watch the episodes? SB: I have to be honest, there’s a great scene where I’m fixing the keyboard and Kiyomi asked me a question and then is saying something under her breath to Vero and wasn’t even paying attention to me. I had no idea so I was just like, “Damn it she wasn’t even listening to me!” [Laughs]

AE: Yeah, they were just like putting temporary tattoos on each other in the other room. SB: Yeah and I was laughing watching the episode because it was like, “Why did they even ask me a question?” So it’s really bizarre to watch that kind of stuff because I think I can understand the situation a little bit better now and see a different perspective.

But it’s also really frustrating. It’s like, here are my friends and bandmates and we’re always clashing and having respect issues. So what’s the source of it and why does it always have to be a behind-the-back thing? Why can’t people just say things to each other’s faces and be honest about what’s going on? I’m seeing a lot of mixed signals and I still don’t understand some of them but we’ve moved past it.

AE: That’s really mature and I think that seems to go along with your personality in general on the show. Do you feel like you have been accurately portrayed on the show? You are easily one of the most likable people featured. Maybe this is just from corresponding with you over email and reading your Tweets, but I feel like they missed out on showing your sense of humor. There’s a lot of you being serious on the show and I think it would be nice to show how funny you are. SB: I think they should give me a spin-off right? I hope the executives are listening right now and will say, “Obviously, this chick needs her own show.” [Laughs] I get disappointed occasionally that some funny prank I pulled didn’t make it into the show, or some really witty, intellectual remark was edited. But the producers have the creative control. I signed up in order to have more [music] exposure. I didn’t sign up to be a reality TV star.

AE: I think it’s apparent you didn’t go on the show to become a reality star, but to actually get work done and promote your music. Do you feel like there there are other cast members who got a bum rap or whose personalities haven’t gotten developed on the show? SB: I guess I’d say Vero. She’s been sort of the biggest underdog on the cutting room floor. Of all the people in the band, she was always the one who brought out the more extroverted sides of us. When the cameras were rolling, she just stayed “Vero.” [And] she was running off and talking to her girlfriend long distance, so a lot of her story is just her being supportive. She’s really sweet and very private. She’s actually hysterically funny.

AE: Yeah, well this is probably going to sound awful but there were a few times towards the beginning of the season where she would show up on screen and I’d be like, “Who is that? Where did she come from?” [Laughs] SB: I think part of the reason she wasn’t featured more is because she gets along with everyone really well. She is my closest comrade [in the band], you know? There’s nothing except this really sweet, funny person who just kind of hangs out with everyone. She’s like the Scarlett of the East Coast.

AE: Oh my God. I love Scarlett. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit this but I was in LA recently and saw Scarlett out at a bar. I actually didn’t see the show when she was on it so I didn’t really know who she was. But when I saw her in person, I was like, “Oh my god she is so beautiful.” And I never hit on people but apparently that night I had enough liquid courage to go up to her. I’m pretty sure I just stood there like a puppy dog. It just figures that the one person I would choose to go up to was someone who has been on The Real L Word and of course has a girlfriend. She was very sweet though.

It’s kind of unfortunate that nice people who don’t have drama with other people don’t manage to get a lot of camera time. I mean, you seem like a nice person but you had drama surrounding you and that’s what makes for good TV. SB: I have a question for the audience I guess. I don’t understand: Some people love characters who create drama like Rose and Natalie, [who fought] all the time. And then, some people get bored when they see normal, healthy relationships like Cori and Kacy. So, I’m not sure what makes really great reality television. You know what I’m saying?

AE: Yeah, I guess we complain about a lot of the drama because it’s hard to watch. But at the same time, it makes us feel better about our own reality because their drama is so much worse. SB: Right, well I didn’t really watch the show before I was on it. I liked Tracy and Stamie from the first season. I didn’t connect with the rich people [Nikki and Jill] planning their wedding – I mean, we planned ours on a budget and I’ve never been attracted to that lifestyle. So I didn’t have much to watch that I connected to.

So, it’s funny because you have people complaining each season when certain people are brought back, and it’s all over the board. How do they pick the seasons? Do you know? Can you tell me? [Laughs]

AE: Girl, I don’t know much about anything. In life. I used to watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians and I hate myself for it. SB: Don’t hate yourself! I try to only preach love. I watch a lot of reality television but like really nerdy shit. I also love Law & Order and I’m addicted to Arrested Development. Even if it’s a lesbian show, I won’t watch it just because it has lesbians on it. I don’t know. I’m not a lesbian, Brooklynite musician. I’m just a…

AE: A person? SB: Right, I’m just a person who happens to be a lesbian, happens to live in Brooklyn and happens to be a musician. It’s not a big part of my self-reflective view. I’m just somebody who tries to make cool art.

AE: Right, you are who you are, but when you’re creating things for a broad audience, you want everyone to be able to connect with it. And that has nothing to do with who you’re sleeping with. I mean, as a listener, it’s nice to have people making music who are visible parts of our community. But from an actual musical perspective, it goes way beyond any checkbox on a bio sheet, so you need it to be heard beyond sexual orientation. You can’t just put it in a box with the rest of the “queer” bands. SB: I absolutely agree with you. I don’t have a problem with people being excited about us being gay but I find it limiting from a personal perspective to only try to reach a specific part of the population. When I create it, I’m just self-reflecting. So, when I make art, yes, I hope people will listen to it, but I’m not gearing it towards one person or group of people.

But, I always love it when someone from a queer magazine or a queer podcast gets excited about our music and wants to write about it or play our songs. I think that’s so rad.

AE: Speaking of your music, talk to me about your band, Clinical Trials because I’ve listened to a bit of it and have seen a couple of your music videos, which I think are freaking awesome. SB: You liked the samuri battles? Both of those were completely the work of friends of mine – especially the “Whip It” video which was conceived by my friend Kaz Phillips Safer. And for “Sweet Machine”, I went to my friend (and ex-bandmate) Dan LeMunyan and was just like, “I want to do something with stop motion dolls,” and he just took it and ran with it. So, I was really happy. Both of them are just awesome artists.

 

Check out some of the bloopers from the “Whip It” video while you’re at it.

But Clinical Trials and Hunter Valentine – there’s some overlap but I don’t think they necessarily coexist. I think Clinical Trials is just super dark and doesn’t really care. It’s very personal to me, so I get really excited about it. But it definitely has more of the PJ Harvey, indie college rock [sound] – probably never going to be on the radio. I think it’s catchy at times, but it isn’t made to necessarily have mass appeal.

AE: Well it’s not pop-y by any means. SB: No. It has some melodic stuff but Hunter Valentine is way catchier.

AE: For me personally, I connect more with what I’ve heard of Clinical Trials. I mean, the bass in “Sweet Machine” is just super hot. That appeals more to my music sensibility, the darker side of things.

I think you told me in an email that you’ll be releasing more songs one by one, since you can do that type of thing nowadays. Have you recorded more and are you going to be releasing anything on a regular schedule? SB: I hope so. I’ve been trying to! I’d really like to try to release a new song every two weeks, but it’s been really difficult because I’ve been trying to focus on maybe doing a little tour and doing Hunter Valentine. But if you’re excited about it, then I can be like, “I have to do something for Mia this week!”

AE: That’s right. I will bug you. If you want me to set a reminder in my calendar, I can do that. SB: [Laughs] Your Google calendar will remind me? I like it.

AE: Well if it’s personal to you, it’s something you’ve got to go with. It’s got to be therapeutic for you. SB: Definitely, it helps me heal a lot of emotions. There should be a reality TV-inspired song. It’ll probably be cryptic but I’m sure there’ll be something along those lines. There are a couple of things in the works. I have to figure out recording and playing drums.

It’s hard because I can record at home. [Since] I don’t have to book a studio, schedule a time, and pay for it, [it] slows me down because I can just be like, “Oh should I watch Battlestar Galactica today?”

AE: [Laughs] Yeah. As a freelance writer, I can totally understand what you mean. The other day, there was a Saved by the Bell marathon on and I even got to catch the episode where Jessie Spano was addicted to caffeine pills. SB: Oh that’s so good!

AE: There’s actually an interactive 8-bit Saved by the Bell game that you can play on YouTube which is pretty exciting. I don’t know how you win exactly but it’s fun to play. We’re all winners when we play that game, that’s what I like to think.

So, some of our readers who are fans of the show had a few questions for you, if you wouldn’t mind answering. The first being, “Why are you giving Hunter Valentine your time and talent? Your band Clinical Trials is in a different league. HV has one or two songs that are strong, but as a whole, CT delivers. (Not to mention HV is losing fans by being on the show as the people see that certain member/s are douches).”

SB: Well first, thank you for the compliment! Clinical Trials has been a labor of love for almost eight years, so anytime someone connects with the music, it’s incredibly rewarding. Hunter Valentine was something I sort of fell into. Kiyomi actually saved my ass at one show when my guitar went on the fritz mid-set. I had never met her before that night, but she walked up to the stage, handed me her guitar and said, “Do you want to borrow mine? I really like what you’re doing and I want to be able to hear the rest of your set.”

Wait, wait, wait … is this situational irony in light of recent keyboard developments!?

We became friends when the band moved to Brooklyn, mostly hanging out to get drinks and talk music. Out of the blue last fall, Kiyomi called and asked me to help them work on music. They were starting to write the new album and I think they wanted fresh ears and a slightly more modern edge & sound. There’s only so much you can do as a three-piece, and it can sound very dated in comparison to cutting-edge artists like MIA, Santigold, Gotye and Sleigh Bells. Synths and samples really add another layer, and so much depth.

The girls initially wanted me to commit to a year of being in the band and Kiyomi had some really good insight about how it would help get me exposure for my own project. I could open for them on tour, meet their contacts, learn the ins & outs of the business, and learn from the experience of collaborating.

Unfortunately, we had our first fight during recording in Toronto! After the argument, we agreed that we should do a trial period, touring down to SXSW, and then regroup from there. And…enter reality television! That’s where our story picks up with the cameras.

AE: Our next reader question is, “How long did it take you and your wife to ‘merge’?” SB: Donna and I have been together six years. After a week or two of dating, I said something incredibly unromantic like, “Well, I’m probably not going to be seeing anyone else now, so I think we should be girlfriends.” She agreed, and then we immediately went to Babeland.

I actually moved in with her about six months in, because my lease ran out and I hadn’t found a place! But I did end up in my own apartment again, shortly thereafter. We officially moved in together after a year and a half. We were engaged after four years – I proposed – and married a year later.

AE: And lastly, if you had to play Shag, Marry or Dump with your Real L Word castmates, how would you play? SB: I know this will disappoint, but even if I only hypothetically decide to f–k or marry anyone on the show besides Donna, I’m pretty sure she will KILL me!

Make sure you tune in this Thursday for the next episode of The Real L Word and you can also get more of Somer every Friday on her hilarious vlog, Somer Fridays.

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