Diana’s still the other Balcoin sister. Faye’s still upset that it’s not her. Cassie’s still unlikable. Adam’s still feeling all the feelings. Any questions?
AFTERELLEN BAIT
The girls are too busy being witches to notice each other. In fact, the only hint of eye candy this episode is when Faye jacks around with Jake.
Come on, Faye. Quit wasting that beautiful boobage on the boys.
FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS!
Poor Jane is dead, poor Jane she is dead. Yet somehow, Cassie is still living at her house alone. Doesn’t Chance Harbor have a social services department? Everybody in town knows everybody else’s business, but nobody seems to realize that a 16-year-old girl is living alone in a big house while everyone around her is dying. Or maybe, like us, they don’t care.
I take that back. One person cares – the Circle’s official lesbian, Adam. He cares about everything. And his eyelashes grow longer with every tear he sheds. Adam will help you process your grief, Cassie – even if he has to make out with you to do it.
MOMENTS OF FAYE
When Jake starts shouting about the witch hunters at Jane’s wake:
“There are sad, fragile people her — let’s not give them a heart attack.”
A suggestion to Jake on how to handle his anger:
“I’ve noticed mom keeps pills in her purse; I think they’re the reason behind her random bursts of happiness. If anyone needs a burst right now, it’s us.”
On fooling around with Jake at the wake:
“This kind of grieving is more my speed.”
When Cassie tells her that Diana has her own reasons for not wanting to help find the crystals:
“Like what? Buying more push-up bras and brushing up on her Aussie accent?”
On how to defeat the witch hunters:
“Oh, I forgot. We have the black magic super twins on our side.”
When Diana and Cassie scream at the sight of a mouse:
“Scooby and Shaggy are such scaredy-cats.”
On the creepy carnival music at the abandoned fair:
“If we live, remind me to download this song. It will be perfect for my running for your life treadmill mix.”
Faye remains the best reason to endure the doom & gloom that dominates this show.
THE FOREBODING
Diana is no dummy. Her dismay at being Cassie’s sister has less to do with feeling betrayed by her parents than fearing that she’ll become like Cassie. And by that, I don’t mean boring; I mean consumed by dark magic. Diana understands the power of the dark side, but refuses to embrace it. Help us, Obi-Wan Diana. You’re our only hope.
She also suspects that Blackwell – daddy or not – can’t be trusted. What’s surprising is that she’s the only one besides Charles who seems to see through him. He plays Dawn, promising to give her power back if she helps him: “No more hiding – out of the broom-closet, as you always used to say.” (Nah, no gay allusions here.)
But John doesn’t seem to be the one killing the witch hunters. All signs point to the traitor witch, whom we now know is Nick. Did he rise from the grave or somehow fake his death? Will Melissa’s love for Nick be resurrected, too? Will Diana use dark magic to keep Cassie from the dark side? Will this season ever be over?
Give us your thoughts on this week’s episode of The Secret Circle. How do you expect the season to resolve in the next two weeks?
