Don’t Quote Me: Mary Cheney’s Baby


“I'm delighted I'm about to have a sixth grandchild, Wolf. And obviously I think the world of both my daughters and all of my grandchildren. And I think, frankly, you're out of line with that question.”

— Dick Cheney to CNN's Wolf Blitzer on Jan. 24, in response to a request that he respond to harsh criticism from conservative Christian group Focus on the Family of Mary Cheney's pregnancy.

“This is a baby. This is a blessing from God. It is not a political statement. It is not a prop to be used in a debate by people on either side of an issue. It is my child.”

— Mary Cheney on Jan. 31, while pointing to her midsection and speaking at Barnard College .

If you take a road called Entitlement and follow it past five Vietnam War draft deferments, two DWI's, one Halliburton multi-billion-dollar no-bid contract to rebuild Iraq, one accusation by Democratic Sen. Patrick Leahy of cronyism regarding the Halliburton contract, one “go f— yourself” (to Leahy), one Plame Affair/Scooter Libby trial, one “hunting accident” (after which gunshot victim Harry Whittington apologized to the vice president for the trouble the shooting had caused him and his family), and thousands of bodies resulting from a bloody war no one wants to take responsibility for, you'll eventually come to the home of Vice President Dick Cheney.

It's a lovely home that resembles many others that dot the American landscape, except Cheney's house boasts a lavender glow so brilliant that it can be seen from miles away. Yet, strangely enough, those who live in the house from which it emanates go to great pains to avoid discussing the source of the light: A very pregnant lesbian dancing in a bubble of privilege and singing “U Can't Touch This.”

Super-freaky. Yow.

What the hell is in the water at the Cheneys' house? It's certainly not integrity.

After years of listening to Dick Cheney sidestep or half-answer legitimate questions about how he balances his anti-gay politics and close relationship with Christian conservatives with his supposed love and respect for his lesbian daughter, Mary, and after years of watching Mary dodge her portion of responsibility for the anti-gay state of our union, I'm still not sure who I blame more for the public's ignorance with respect to their combined hypocrisy — the Cheneys or the media.

At the root of Dick Cheney's “I make the rules, but don't have to follow them” attitude are the beliefs that he and his sweet, innocent (wink, wink) daughter are above reproach and that the majority of Americans are complete idiots. It's a deplorable view for a leader of a great country to take, but, judging by the way Wolf Blitzer coddled the vice president in a recent interview on CNN, it appears that Cheney's beliefs are correct. It is also apparent that the vice president taught his daughter the valuable media lessons he has learned.

While participating in a Glamour magazine-sponsored panel discussion at Barnard College on Jan. 31, Mary Cheney put all those lessons to work, saying that her unborn baby “is a blessing from God. It is not a political statement. It is not a prop to be used in a debate by people on either side of an issue. It is my child.”

According to the New York Times, after being asked during the discussion how she feels about conservative Christian groups criticizing her pregnancy, specifically her feelings toward Focus on the Family's James Dobson's distorted research on the matter, she said, “Every piece of remotely responsible research that has been done in the last 20 years has shown there is no difference between children raised by same-sex parents and children raised by opposite-sex parents; what matters is being raised in a stable, loving environment.” She also added that Dobson is “not someone whose endorsement I have ever drastically sought.”

Sing it with me: Liar, liar, pants on fire!

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