7 Things On Every Lesbian or Bi Woman’s Bucket List


Every once in a while, the Internet prompts me to think about what’s on my bucket list. Normally, it’s Groupon, and it’s trying to sell me something (I just bought a Groupon for learning to hang glide because it was on my list. It’s like Groupon knows.), but it can also be things like pictures of a friend scuba diving that she posted to Facebook, an email from Realtor.com about the beach house of my dreams, or an ad at the top of a website for a whale watching cruise in Alaska. My girlfriend and I even have a Pinterest board to document our aspirations, because that’s the adult version of a dream board and I’m really bad with glitter and cutting straight anyway.

Everyone has different items on their bucket list, ranging from “be on the first manned mission to Mars” to “read five books a year.” These items can remind us to dream big or small. The following are suggestions of lesbian and/or queer-centric items to round out your bucket list:

Do The Dinah

photo: Club Skirts The Dinah

photo: Club Skirts The Dinah

Club Skirts The Dinah, held every year in Palm Springs, California, is billed as the largest lesbian event in the world. Over 10,000 lesbian and queer women (and celesbians!) show up annually for a Lesbian Spring Break full of debauchery, bikinis, great music, and cocktails. Whether you’re into making out with half-naked strangers or not, it’s almost a cultural rite of passage, like going to your first Pride Parade.

Go to the Greek isle of Lesbos and take a picture under any sign that says “Lesbos”


Bonus points if there are more than one lesbian in the picture.

As everyone knows, and much to modern Greece’s chagrin, the word “lesbian” comes from the association between the island of Lesbos and the poet Sappho, who lived there in the 6th century BCE. Sappho, from whom the adjective “Sapphic” is derived, oversaw a group of young women, about whom she wrote poems and of several of whom she may have been enamored with—making her the world’s first known (maybe) lesbian.  As the etymological birthplace of lesbianism, it’s only right to show up there and take a bunch of photos. Right now the island is overwhelmed by refugees trying to make their way from the Middle East and Africa into Europe (the island is the entry point to Greece from Turkey), so rather than going with a selfie stick, go to make the world a better place and volunteer, for example with Lesvos Volunteers.

Go to a Fan Convention to see a Queer Fan Favorite

 Photo by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images

Photo by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images

Okay, so 2019 was the last Xena Convention ever, but if you missed it, you can make up for it by going to any other fan or an entertainment convention in which gay actresses or straight actresses playing lesbian and bi characters will be appearing and/or speaking.  WonderCon, Comic-Con, and  Clexa Con are a few to keep on your gaydar.

Go to a Melissa Etheridge/Indigo Girls/Melissa Ferrick/Ani DiFranco, etc. concert

Photos of the “23 and Me” Podcast featuring musician Melissa Etheridge taken on-location at iHeartMedia Offices, NYC on June 20, 2018. provided by © Matthew Eisman for iHeartMedia. All Rights Reserved

If you grew up anytime before the late 2000s, you probably had at least one k.d. lang, Melissa Etheridge, Indigo Girls or Ani DiFranco CD in your CD collection. It’s just what you did. These were the lesbian/bi community’s trailblazers who came out well before Ellen DeGeneres and helped pave the way for greater societal acceptance of queerness. Seeing an iconic queer female singer perform in concert is both a nostalgic trip down memory lane and an affirmation of queer pride.

Get an Award for Something Gay-Related

Okay, so most of us will never get lifetime achievement awards from the Human Rights Campaign, etc., but that doesn’t mean you can’t get recognized for your achievements in your career field or on behalf of gay advocacy. There’s something deeply fulfilling about representing your community and bringing greater visibility and distinction to the cause. No matter the scale, whether it’s a national-level award or just from your immediate work component, advancing equality and diversity just feels good.

Sue Ellen’s, lesbian bar in Dallas, Texas | Photo: Sarah Woodward

Participate in a Competition at a Lesbian Bar

Ever feel like your pickup game at lesbian clubs is like Tess Roberts’ from Lip Service?

“I can’t chat people up. I just do what most lesbians do: stare at women hungrily, and pray that somebody else will make the first move.”

YOLO. Get out there and get recognized, and have some fun while doing it. Jello wrestle. Enter the sexy Halloween costume contest. Sing karaoke. If you want to crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment afterward, that’s okay, because you checked that item off your list.


Meet a Celesbian/ Get a Celesbian to Tweet You 

Photo: Ellen Page/Instagram

Photo: Ellen Page/Instagram

Whether modern society has stripped us of our sense of individuality and importance by turning us into anonymous automatons at work, or whether social media has sparked the need to feel seen and be recognized in a self-aggrandizing, “me”-centric culture (or both), or maybe just because we like celebrities and would like to feel closer to them, it would be awesome to get a shout-out/retweet by a celebrity. Probably @EllenPage is a bit of a stretch, but come on @monicaraymund or @natvanlis, hit me up!

Share your bucket list items in the comments section!

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