As soon as I heard Demi Lovato‘s sexy single “Cool For The Summer,” I knew I wanted to write about it. I hate it that much.
Some fans have accused Demi Lovato of ripping off fellow faux bisexuals Jessie J (“Domino”) and Katy Perry (“I Kissed A Girl”), but there haven’t been a lot of discussions on the hit song’s biphobic message. A writer for The Atlantic even defended “Cool” as “The Next Great Gay Anthem.” By a straight girl. Like most “gay anthems.”
Demi is a former Disney kid and current reality darling who has been an outspoken ally so we have to buy her songs. Demi Lovato is so relatable, it’s easy to forget she’s been a multi-millionare since puberty. Or that she is packaged by the biggest music labels and TV networks.
Pinpointing exactly why the vapid queer baiting makes me cringe is tricky. There is so much wrong in a piece of music that contains so little. Is slick corporate packaging the root of my distaste for “Cool For The Summer?” The cherry euphemism for lady bits? The breathless urges to stay in the closet? A set end date of lesbian experimentation timed with the beginning of the school year? Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
Then there’s the chorus:
Don’t tell your mother
Kiss one another
Die for each other
We’re cool for the summer
Die for this person you are too ashamed to tell anyone about, who is only cool for a few months, who you kiss just for the hell of it? DIE.
It doesn’t make any sense. It’s cliche, it’s fake, it’s creepy, it’s melodramatic, it’s stupid, it’s lazy, it reminds me of this and this and this. (For those loathe to click links, the deaths of lesbian and bi women on television.)
But most of all this:
Oversexed, doomed, secret fake bisexuals are so over. I am no longer amused by the inane mainstream obsession with tragic, oversexed lesbian plotlines. It’s time to start calling “allies” out for this crippling unoriginal crap.
Tell me what you want
What you like
It’s okay
I’m a little curious, too
Tell me if it’s wrong
If it’s right
I don’t care
I can keep a secret, can you?
Because this should be kept a secret. Like, “Ima say this up front, as I’m sweet talking lustily, that I can keep my big fucking mouth shut when it’s not all up on you. Can you? CAN YOU? Straight up, Ima interrupt this foreplay to firmly establish that no one must learn of minxish fiddle-faddle is about to unfold.”
After all that heavy handed Sapphic imagery, what does Demi Lovato’s music video for “Cool for the Summer” deliver? Very little. It is 1% random girls kissing, 1% random boys kissing, and 98% Demi Lovato touching herself.
After all, she wouldn’t want to pander.