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Holly Hanson on what queer women should know about money

I’m always amazed at how queer people manage to use their skills and talents to serve their communities. You don’t have to be an actor or a politician to use your career as a service to queer people and Holly Hanson is no exception. Principal and founder of Harmony Financial Strategies located in Los Angeles, Holly Hanson has made it her business—both literally and figuratively—to use her knack for money management to assist LGBT people in ensuring every dime we make is put to good use in planning a successful financial future. To reach LGBTs outside of SoCo, Hanson has released The LGBT & Modern Family Money Manual: Financial Strategies For You and Your Loved Ones, a book which combines her personal story with practical financial advice, geared specifically for those of us who fall somewhere outside of the heterosexual norm.

AfterEllen: Something that impressed me as soon as I began the book was that you included such personal touches about your life and coming out. I love the balance between practical advice and your personal story. What made you decide to be so open about your experiences in the book?

Holly Hanson: When I started thinking of writing this book, I realized that traditional finance books can be very difficult to read and understand and get interested in. But, personal finance for every individual is so important to have the knowledge to create the life they want to live. Part of adding that personal story was to keep the reader connected, so they could learn valuable information, but also to connect with the LGBT community as it is an underserved market and needs to be connected with in an understanding and empathetic way.

AE: I think personal finance is something that concerns people of all sexual orientations, ethnicities, economic backgrounds, genders, etc., but the LGBT community does need its specific areas of concern addressed by financial professionals. I’m happy to see there is a book that addresses these very issues.

HH: Thank you. That’s definitely the direction I was going. The goal is to have something in the book for everyone to learn. Even if some chapters don’t apply, there will be some that will and could change a person’s life in a positive direction.

AE: I’ve often thought that lesbians in particular may have very specific financial challenges due to the fact that so many young girls are just not socialized to be leaders and in charge of our own lives. A lot of parents presume their daughter will grow up and marry a man, so her husband will be the person who is responsible for financial matters. I think that can negatively affect our ability to maintain control over our finances. Is this something you’ve seen evidence of in working with both lesbian singles and couples?

HH: Most of the lesbian women and couples we’ve worked with are more hesitant to take charge in this area. I do agree that it is part of socialization, but I also believe the female mind is very different from that of a male. We want to understand and have the knowledge to make good decisions. Females are naturally more planning-oriented. Studies actually show they have better results from investing than their male counterparts.

AE: Oh, interesting!

HH: It’s very interesting to see and a lot of that does come from that they are planners naturally and they’re not really going after what’s hot and new. It’s more about long term and goals; making sure that we’re doing the things that are appropriate to reach those goals.

AE: I love that. That makes a lot of sense, actually. I can totally see evidence of this in women I know.

HH: Exactly. That’s it.

AE: We’re in a unique period for LGBT people—couples in particular. Laws are constantly evolving and changing, which can make navigating finances very confusing. What advice would you give to LGBT couples who are struggling to keep up?

HH: With all the changes within the LGBT community, it is extremely difficult to understand and keep up. This is actually one of the reasons I wanted to write the book—to try to pull things all in one place and at least get people started, so they know where to go to get more information. I would say the best approach is to have trusted advisors around to help direct you in all areas of your life—from financial planning to estate planning. It’s important because some of these changes that are happening aren’t everyday knowledge that we’re used to understanding. We need help understanding it and how it affects us on an individual level. Also, I think your local LGBT center is a great resource. Typically, they have seminars and publications and blogs where you can find information on any subject that you feel like you need to be educated on.

AE: Something that resonated with me when I was reading and I’ve thought about so much since was your wife’s reaction to the passing of marriage equality in California. She was very concerned that it could and would change. I live in Texas and it’s something that has stuck with me because I so desperately want for nationwide marriage equality, but I worry too that, should it pass, it could be taken back. I’ve learned that you can’t get too comfortable because it constantly changes.

HH: Sure. I agree. And, when she said that to me, I understand 100% where she was coming from—just going through what we saw happen in California. I definitely felt the same way for some time. You move forward hoping that you’re going to be protected under the law and that’s really all you can do in that situation. I will say now that, with the population in general, there is a majority that is behind equality. That is something that I feel like is going to push us forward and sweep across the country. In regards to what’s happening in the Supreme Court right now, I listened to the podcast on it. The arguments they’re having to leave it at the state level and have the states make the decision aren’t making a lot of sense.

AE: Right, it’s so focused on procreation it seems to me. I just think that argument is so outdated.

HH: Yeah, it is. And you can even say there are so many LGBT couples that adopt. We’re in the process right now of starting a family.

AE: Congratulations!

HH: Thank you! So, you are tying the children to the family and creating a bond between the couple. Any type of argument they’re coming up with just does not hold. Listening to it, I just cannot understand how it would not be determined at the Supreme Court level. Equality is an issue that is more from a constitutional aspect. If that be the case, I do think there will be a sweep across the country.

AE: I listened to some of the audio from the most recent oral arguments and something I’m so proud of is we have three such amazing women that are Supreme Court justices—Ginsburg, Sotomayor, Kagan—are all very well versed in the constitutionality of what’s happening right now and I feel like, if they have any say in it, it will go our way. I’m so proud to have those three women on our side.

HH: I agree 100%. I would probably say to anyone that hasn’t listened to the arguments or the podcast, take some time to do it. I got chills. When you hear these women speak, it’s almost like people who are into sports and they’re jumping up and down because they’re happy that someone got a goal. That’s what I felt like.

AE: Totally, I always say politics is my sport. I get the same energy and adrenaline from following politics.

HH: Yes, 100%.

AE: Although nationwide marriage equality may be in our near future, there are some same sex couples who have chosen not to marry for various reasons. How can unmarried, yet committed, long-term couples protect themselves in their financial future?

HH: This is actually a really good question. We have a lot of couples that fall into that category. That’s why, when I wrote the book, I came up with the term “modern family.” It really does equate to LGBT couples in a state where it’s not legal to get married. These particular couples that choose not to get married – they’re actually the most susceptible to an unfortunate circumstance if they haven’t had proper planning. The most important place to start in this area is documentation, to protect their partners in the event of a health issue. That can lead to the need for their partners to step in as well as to receive what is rightfully theirs. There will be situations where, if you don’t have the right documentation, you might not even be able to get into the hospital room. You might not be able to make those health decisions that you need to make for your partner that your partner has spoken to you about previously. You could have family members that aren’t a part of your life come in and they actually will be able to take over and that’s not what was wanted. On the financial side as well, if a couple is together and they’ve determined that the other is their beneficiary, you want to protect that. You don’t want to leave your partner in a situation where they can’t move forward from what will already be a very difficult situation.

AE: If you’re unmarried by choice, that just means you have to be even more intentional about your financial plans and your plans for the future.

HH: Correct, yes. I would say that dynamic is the one that I would 100% pull them out of a crowd and encourage them to get into an attorney’s office. If you don’t have the money to see an attorney, go to prepaid legal, We the People, whatever you can do. Just start somewhere.

AE: Discussing matters such as whether or not to combine assets can be tricky and uncomfortable, even for couples who have great communication, it’s still something that’s difficult to talk about. How can we have honest conversations without hurt feelings?

HH: This is actually a very common question that we see with clients. They tell me that they feel better discussing this in front of an advisor or some neutral party. When you create that neutral space, it is appropriate and it allows the person—whether it be an advisor or just someone you trust—to help determine where each individual is coming from and proceed in a direction that they each desire. I would say, when you have that conversation, it’s definitely important to create that neutral space.

AE: Just like going to therapy.

HH: Yep, exactly. And it creates an environment whereit is business-oriented in a sense—you can go into it feeling like it is more business. And you can walk out and be done with it. You create an environment where it doesn’t have to fall into your personal, romantic life.

AE: What financial obstacles do you find that queer people in particular struggle with?

HH: I would say that financial obstacles that queer people struggle with mostly stem from the fact that they are an underserved market. Not many advisors take the time to get educated on the needs of LGBT people. Therefore, financial planning may go in the wrong direction because they just don’t understand what the client needs. I would definitely say that’s a big struggle that’s really not their fault. It’s just that nobody has really gone out and tried to help the queer community’s particular situations. I hope that’s changing and I hope that more and more advisors are going to become educated in this market and what’s needed, so people aren’t left out in the cold and not taken care of.

AE: If you could give just one piece of financial advice to queer women, what would it be?

HH: One piece of financial advice to queer women: I’d say to prioritize what you would like to achieve in life and take the steps to make it happen. Too many people put these issues on the backburner and, mostly it’s just due to fear or lack of knowledge, scheduling, just kind of our busy lives that we lead today. But, just like your health, you have to be your own advocate. I would say, make it important. Don’t avoid taking care of it. Eventually what happens, if you do that, is you end up in a place where you didn’t want to be and you could’ve really changed that dynamic if you would’ve thought about that earlier.

The LGBT & Modern Family Money Manual: Financial Strategies For You and Your Loved Ones is available for purchase on Amazon and in bookstores, including Barnes & Noble. Learn more at www.harmony-financial.com and follow Harmony Financial Strategies on Twitter @harmonyfinstra.

Follow Emily: @EmilyAMcGaughy

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