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The AfterEllen.com Huddle: The Kindness of Strangers

Last week we talked about having unpleasant experiences with strangers, so this week we’re going good. Have you ever been helped or assisted by a stranger when you needed it most? Ever been injured and a sweet Samaritan swooped in? Ever been totally lost and has a stranger go out of their way to help you find your way?

Grace Chu: One time a former roommate and I picked up a small table and a couple of stools from Craigslist and attempted to hail a cab. None of the cabbies wanted to be bothered getting out to cram the table into the trunk, so we just stood there waving impotently as yellow car after yellow car looked at us, then our furniture, then whizzed on by. Then it started drizzling. We started moving our furniture under an awning.

Suddenly, a van pulled up, and a muscular woman with a commanding voice opened the side door. “Come on. We’ll take you to the subway-or home if you’re in lower Manhattan.” The only other person in the van was the driver, a thin lady with a ponytail.

If they were serial killers, so be it: We didn’t want to ruin our furniture. The passenger helped us move our furniture to the cargo area and we climbed in. It turned out the driver and passenger were a lesbian couple doing errands in Manhattan. The muscular woman told us that if we wanted to hail a cab with large items, put the items out of sight. Then one person should jump in and only then should the other person start loading the trunk.

“If their light is on, and they stop and you jump in, they’ll have to take you-or you can sue them!” she said.

The other woman nodded in agreement.

My roommate and I looked at each other. We were just saved by the Lesbian A Team.

Erin Wilson: I have been shown kindness from complete strangers so many times! From someone paying for my coffee in the drive-thru to giving me their seat on the train to helping me carry my groceries to my car. However, there was one day recently that I was visibly upset about something personal going on in my life and a man saw me crying and simply said, “I don’t know what is wrong, but I do know that it will be okay eventually.” I was touched by his words. Sometimes, all we need to hear is everything is going to be ok, even from a complete stranger.

Trish Bendix: The first time I traveled somewhere by myself, I was 18 and headed to Austin for SXSW. Another friend was going for work, but she was staying at a fancy, expensive place near the action, so I had to find an affordable hotel a little farther from downtown. I naively found a cheap place on a travel website and decided it looked okay. I wasn’t planning on spending a ton of time in my room, anyway.

When I landed in Austin, I jumped in a cab and told the driver where to take me. He immediately gave me a look that said, “There?” It wasn’t until we got closer to the “hotel” that he started to tell me he didn’t think I should stay there. We pulled up and I saw all kinds of people just hanging out outside. He pointed to them and said, “When you leave your room, they will break in and take your things. These are not good people.” I could tell he knew what he was talking about, but was too proud. He said he would wait until I checked in, just in case I changed my mind.

I had such an uncomfortable feeling, like everyone’s eyes were on me as I went inside to check in. I just knew I couldn’t stay there-it wouldn’t be safe. But I had prepaid with my credit card (bad idea #450) and had to put some acting skills to use. Coupled with real emotions, I started balling in front of the receptionist, telling him I had a family emergency and had to return home right away. Could he please refund me? I would never be able to afford another place to stay without it, and I was already worried I wouldn’t be able to afford any kind of place available on such short notice. The man was skeptical: “Are you sure it’s that you just don’t want to stay here?” But I kept on assuring him I had to go, and he finally took pity on me and put the money back on my card.

The cabbie was still waiting for me when I came outside. He drove me to a LaQuinta Inn, walked me inside, spoke to his friend and secured me a suite-the only room they had available-for $75 a night. It was a little more than what I was going to spend at the other place, but it was worth it for the peace of mind. I couldn’t (and probably didn’t) thank the cab driver or his friend at the hotel enough. They didn’t have to help me, and they did.

How has a stranger helped you in a kind way?

Possibly my favorite story (though it’s my parents’ least favorite) is one night when I was heading back to Queens late after a night out, feeling pleasantly tipsy, ready for a nice relaxing train ride home. When I got down to my subway platform, I was displeased to see the poles plastered with service change announcements-E train running on the F line, uptown running on the downtown track, etc. I was squinting at them, trying to put the pieces together like a detective looking at a murderboard, and when I thought maybe I figured it out, I thought I’d ask someone for confirmation. An unassuming girl about my age was standing nearby and didn’t have headphones in or anything, so I asked her if she could confirm what I believed would be the right train to take me uptown. I had reached the same conclusion she did, and we discovered we were both heading to Astoria, so we decided to be travel buddies. She had a tall boy of Bud Light in a paper bag she hadn’t opened yet, and asked if I wanted to share, which of course I did. So we chatted and drank while we waited. When a train showed up, standing just inside the doors was a youngish guy, and we asked if the train was going to Queens, he said it was, so we hopped in. We started chatting with the guy and he asked how we knew each other and was shocked to find out the answer was, “We just met on that subway platform.” Turns out the train we were on was NOT going to Queens, so the three of us had to hop off at another station and run around trying to find our way. Through teamwork and determination, we finally did, and the girl got off a stop early so she could walk me most of the way home. Our phones were both dead and we didn’t have paper or anything, so we parted ways without a way to contact each other, but we were okay with it. Just two ships that helped each other find our way in the night.

Kim Hoffman: The kindness of strangers is the stuff that makes my eyes fill up like lakes. It happens when you least expect it, as it should. I’ve had strangers help me when my car broke down. I’ve had strangers return to me my wallet, or my cell phone, or how about the couple that received my giant bin of life writing (all my old essays from school, childhood stories, my dissertation, tons of notes, journals, etc.) by mistake, and then somehow tracked down the moving company that delivered it to them and had them send it back to me. Now that was a miracle. I’m typically happy just to receive a kind smile from a stranger though, too. To me, that can completely change my day around if someone takes that extra step.

Something happened the other day here in Portland (but didn’t involve me) where I witnessed a pack come off the back of a motorcyclist’s bike, and all the cars behind him were very careful to move around it while someone in a truck pulled over, blocked traffic, fetched the pack and then met the biker halfway up the block who was now walking toward him after he pulled over. When they made the exchange, everyone was tapping on their horns and cheering. It was incredibly sweet. I don’t have to be involved to be whelmed by strangers-sometimes being that eye that witnesses the moment creates the most validating, artistic, reassuring sense of the world.

Dana Piccoli: I have had many experiences with kind strangers but there are two that I remember very fondly. When I was in 8th grade, I got to visit my future all girls high school and spend the day with a student. I’d always wanted to go to this school, and I was beyond excited to see what would be in store for me the next year. That was until I started up the walkway, and slipped on the ice and fell on my ass. Two upperclasswomen were sitting outside, having coffee or whatever, and instead of laughing at me, they got up, walked over and picked me up, made sure I wasn’t dirty and helped me inside. What could have been a beyond humiliating experience, showed me how strong the bonds of sisterhood were at the school. I spent the rest of 8th grade desperately wishing for high school to come.

The other was when an ex-girlfriend of mine, who decided to take me to a coffeeshop to break up with me. I don’t know, I think she read something about how extra awful it was to break up with someone where they not only get to be upset, but have to cry in front of strangers. Real swell of her. Anyway, I walked out so I could save some face, and cried off to the side of the building. A slightly drunk girl and her friend walked by, and must have sensed it was a heartbreak cry, so they stopped. “He’s not worth it, honey.” She, I corrected her, assuming that she’d probably walk away. “She’s not worth it, honey,” she said and put her hand on my shoulder. It was this small thing but it really did sink in that yeah, I was worth more than a kiss off with a side of public humiliation.

Ali Davis: The guy who I mentioned in last week’s Huddle was pretty great-the fact that he could tell I might be rattled after getting yelled at and just came and stood with me for a while meant a lot.

I also had a total stranger double back and turn around to help me change a flat tire once. I was feeling so stupid and 1950s housewife because I just could not get the lug nuts off. I felt much better about that when I saw him literally standing on the lug wrench-it took his full body weight to get the damn things to loosen. The guy went out of his way to help me and wouldn’t let me buy him lunch or anything.

I love the little kindness-of-strangers moments that happen every day. Like I love holding doors for each other. Hey! You’re another human being on this planet! Let me make your way just a tiny bit easier. Moments like that are like grace notes to life.

Grace Chu: One time a former roommate and I picked up a small table and a couple of stools from Craigslist and attempted to hail a cab. None of the cabbies wanted to be bothered getting out to cram the table into the trunk, so we just stood there waving impotently as yellow car after yellow car looked at us, then our furniture, then whizzed on by. Then it started drizzling. We started moving our furniture under an awning.

Suddenly, a van pulled up, and a muscular woman with a commanding voice opened the side door. “Come on. We’ll take you to the subway-or home if you’re in lower Manhattan.” The only other person in the van was the driver, a thin lady with a ponytail.

If they were serial killers, so be it: We didn’t want to ruin our furniture. The passenger helped us move our furniture to the cargo area and we climbed in. It turned out the driver and passenger were a lesbian couple doing errands in Manhattan. The muscular woman told us that if we wanted to hail a cab with large items, put the items out of sight. Then one person should jump in and only then should the other person start loading the trunk.

“If their light is on, and they stop and you jump in, they’ll have to take you-or you can sue them!” she said.

The other woman nodded in agreement.

My roommate and I looked at each other. We were just saved by the Lesbian A Team.

Erin Wilson: I have been shown kindness from complete strangers so many times! From someone paying for my coffee in the drive-thru to giving me their seat on the train to helping me carry my groceries to my car. However, there was one day recently that I was visibly upset about something personal going on in my life and a man saw me crying and simply said, “I don’t know what is wrong, but I do know that it will be okay eventually.” I was touched by his words. Sometimes, all we need to hear is everything is going to be ok, even from a complete stranger.

Trish Bendix: The first time I traveled somewhere by myself, I was 18 and headed to Austin for SXSW. Another friend was going for work, but she was staying at a fancy, expensive place near the action, so I had to find an affordable hotel a little farther from downtown. I naively found a cheap place on a travel website and decided it looked okay. I wasn’t planning on spending a ton of time in my room, anyway.

When I landed in Austin, I jumped in a cab and told the driver where to take me. He immediately gave me a look that said, “There?” It wasn’t until we got closer to the “hotel” that he started to tell me he didn’t think I should stay there. We pulled up and I saw all kinds of people just hanging out outside. He pointed to them and said, “When you leave your room, they will break in and take your things. These are not good people.” I could tell he knew what he was talking about, but was too proud. He said he would wait until I checked in, just in case I changed my mind.

I had such an uncomfortable feeling, like everyone’s eyes were on me as I went inside to check in. I just knew I couldn’t stay there-it wouldn’t be safe. But I had prepaid with my credit card (bad idea #450) and had to put some acting skills to use. Coupled with real emotions, I started balling in front of the receptionist, telling him I had a family emergency and had to return home right away. Could he please refund me? I would never be able to afford another place to stay without it, and I was already worried I wouldn’t be able to afford any kind of place available on such short notice. The man was skeptical: “Are you sure it’s that you just don’t want to stay here?” But I kept on assuring him I had to go, and he finally took pity on me and put the money back on my card.

The cabbie was still waiting for me when I came outside. He drove me to a LaQuinta Inn, walked me inside, spoke to his friend and secured me a suite-the only room they had available-for $75 a night. It was a little more than what I was going to spend at the other place, but it was worth it for the peace of mind. I couldn’t (and probably didn’t) thank the cab driver or his friend at the hotel enough. They didn’t have to help me, and they did.

How has a stranger helped you in a kind way?

Chloë: A couple days after I turned 18, I hopped on a plane to Stockholm and spent three months working my way down Europe with nothing but a roller suitcase and iron will not to be molested. On my way from Berlin to Paris, I realized something terrible had happened: my hideous, enormous purse had gone missing on the subway en route to the train station. That purse contained all my ids, passport, money, phone, maps, contacts, literally everything. The German police were less than impressed by my plight and quickly dismissed the dumb, crying American to return to their busy schedule of marching ominously. I dried my tears and formulated a plan: I’d go back to the hostel, talk them into letting me crash on the floor, and call the American embassy to get new paperwork started. As soon as I walked into the hostel, the front desk woman looked at me and pulled out… MY PURSE.

“Someone found it in the train station, figured out that an American would probably be staying here, and brought it by.”

Not only had someone found and returned my purse, they did it with a lucky guess. I have no idea who that person was, but at that moment an untapped vein of latent Catholicism gushed forth, and I wondered if maybe this was a miracle. I left Berlin with a newfound appreciation for German problem solving and rule following. DANKE.

Valerie Anne: Random acts of kindness are my lifeblood. New York gets a bad rap for people having bad attitudes-though it’s not entirely unfounded-but I’ve had some great moments here. I’ve had a man pushing around a shopping cart full of random objects take pity on my newspaper hat and give me an umbrella. I’ve had cashiers spot me a dollar when they ended up being cash only and I was a little short. Little things happen all the time that restore my faith in humanity and keep me smiling.

Possibly my favorite story (though it’s my parents’ least favorite) is one night when I was heading back to Queens late after a night out, feeling pleasantly tipsy, ready for a nice relaxing train ride home. When I got down to my subway platform, I was displeased to see the poles plastered with service change announcements-E train running on the F line, uptown running on the downtown track, etc. I was squinting at them, trying to put the pieces together like a detective looking at a murderboard, and when I thought maybe I figured it out, I thought I’d ask someone for confirmation. An unassuming girl about my age was standing nearby and didn’t have headphones in or anything, so I asked her if she could confirm what I believed would be the right train to take me uptown. I had reached the same conclusion she did, and we discovered we were both heading to Astoria, so we decided to be travel buddies. She had a tall boy of Bud Light in a paper bag she hadn’t opened yet, and asked if I wanted to share, which of course I did. So we chatted and drank while we waited. When a train showed up, standing just inside the doors was a youngish guy, and we asked if the train was going to Queens, he said it was, so we hopped in. We started chatting with the guy and he asked how we knew each other and was shocked to find out the answer was, “We just met on that subway platform.” Turns out the train we were on was NOT going to Queens, so the three of us had to hop off at another station and run around trying to find our way. Through teamwork and determination, we finally did, and the girl got off a stop early so she could walk me most of the way home. Our phones were both dead and we didn’t have paper or anything, so we parted ways without a way to contact each other, but we were okay with it. Just two ships that helped each other find our way in the night.

Kim Hoffman: The kindness of strangers is the stuff that makes my eyes fill up like lakes. It happens when you least expect it, as it should. I’ve had strangers help me when my car broke down. I’ve had strangers return to me my wallet, or my cell phone, or how about the couple that received my giant bin of life writing (all my old essays from school, childhood stories, my dissertation, tons of notes, journals, etc.) by mistake, and then somehow tracked down the moving company that delivered it to them and had them send it back to me. Now that was a miracle. I’m typically happy just to receive a kind smile from a stranger though, too. To me, that can completely change my day around if someone takes that extra step.

Something happened the other day here in Portland (but didn’t involve me) where I witnessed a pack come off the back of a motorcyclist’s bike, and all the cars behind him were very careful to move around it while someone in a truck pulled over, blocked traffic, fetched the pack and then met the biker halfway up the block who was now walking toward him after he pulled over. When they made the exchange, everyone was tapping on their horns and cheering. It was incredibly sweet. I don’t have to be involved to be whelmed by strangers-sometimes being that eye that witnesses the moment creates the most validating, artistic, reassuring sense of the world.

Dana Piccoli: I have had many experiences with kind strangers but there are two that I remember very fondly. When I was in 8th grade, I got to visit my future all girls high school and spend the day with a student. I’d always wanted to go to this school, and I was beyond excited to see what would be in store for me the next year. That was until I started up the walkway, and slipped on the ice and fell on my ass. Two upperclasswomen were sitting outside, having coffee or whatever, and instead of laughing at me, they got up, walked over and picked me up, made sure I wasn’t dirty and helped me inside. What could have been a beyond humiliating experience, showed me how strong the bonds of sisterhood were at the school. I spent the rest of 8th grade desperately wishing for high school to come.

The other was when an ex-girlfriend of mine, who decided to take me to a coffeeshop to break up with me. I don’t know, I think she read something about how extra awful it was to break up with someone where they not only get to be upset, but have to cry in front of strangers. Real swell of her. Anyway, I walked out so I could save some face, and cried off to the side of the building. A slightly drunk girl and her friend walked by, and must have sensed it was a heartbreak cry, so they stopped. “He’s not worth it, honey.” She, I corrected her, assuming that she’d probably walk away. “She’s not worth it, honey,” she said and put her hand on my shoulder. It was this small thing but it really did sink in that yeah, I was worth more than a kiss off with a side of public humiliation.

Ali Davis: The guy who I mentioned in last week’s Huddle was pretty great-the fact that he could tell I might be rattled after getting yelled at and just came and stood with me for a while meant a lot.

I also had a total stranger double back and turn around to help me change a flat tire once. I was feeling so stupid and 1950s housewife because I just could not get the lug nuts off. I felt much better about that when I saw him literally standing on the lug wrench-it took his full body weight to get the damn things to loosen. The guy went out of his way to help me and wouldn’t let me buy him lunch or anything.

I love the little kindness-of-strangers moments that happen every day. Like I love holding doors for each other. Hey! You’re another human being on this planet! Let me make your way just a tiny bit easier. Moments like that are like grace notes to life.

Grace Chu: One time a former roommate and I picked up a small table and a couple of stools from Craigslist and attempted to hail a cab. None of the cabbies wanted to be bothered getting out to cram the table into the trunk, so we just stood there waving impotently as yellow car after yellow car looked at us, then our furniture, then whizzed on by. Then it started drizzling. We started moving our furniture under an awning.

Suddenly, a van pulled up, and a muscular woman with a commanding voice opened the side door. “Come on. We’ll take you to the subway-or home if you’re in lower Manhattan.” The only other person in the van was the driver, a thin lady with a ponytail.

If they were serial killers, so be it: We didn’t want to ruin our furniture. The passenger helped us move our furniture to the cargo area and we climbed in. It turned out the driver and passenger were a lesbian couple doing errands in Manhattan. The muscular woman told us that if we wanted to hail a cab with large items, put the items out of sight. Then one person should jump in and only then should the other person start loading the trunk.

“If their light is on, and they stop and you jump in, they’ll have to take you-or you can sue them!” she said.

The other woman nodded in agreement.

My roommate and I looked at each other. We were just saved by the Lesbian A Team.

Erin Wilson: I have been shown kindness from complete strangers so many times! From someone paying for my coffee in the drive-thru to giving me their seat on the train to helping me carry my groceries to my car. However, there was one day recently that I was visibly upset about something personal going on in my life and a man saw me crying and simply said, “I don’t know what is wrong, but I do know that it will be okay eventually.” I was touched by his words. Sometimes, all we need to hear is everything is going to be ok, even from a complete stranger.

Trish Bendix: The first time I traveled somewhere by myself, I was 18 and headed to Austin for SXSW. Another friend was going for work, but she was staying at a fancy, expensive place near the action, so I had to find an affordable hotel a little farther from downtown. I naively found a cheap place on a travel website and decided it looked okay. I wasn’t planning on spending a ton of time in my room, anyway.

When I landed in Austin, I jumped in a cab and told the driver where to take me. He immediately gave me a look that said, “There?” It wasn’t until we got closer to the “hotel” that he started to tell me he didn’t think I should stay there. We pulled up and I saw all kinds of people just hanging out outside. He pointed to them and said, “When you leave your room, they will break in and take your things. These are not good people.” I could tell he knew what he was talking about, but was too proud. He said he would wait until I checked in, just in case I changed my mind.

I had such an uncomfortable feeling, like everyone’s eyes were on me as I went inside to check in. I just knew I couldn’t stay there-it wouldn’t be safe. But I had prepaid with my credit card (bad idea #450) and had to put some acting skills to use. Coupled with real emotions, I started balling in front of the receptionist, telling him I had a family emergency and had to return home right away. Could he please refund me? I would never be able to afford another place to stay without it, and I was already worried I wouldn’t be able to afford any kind of place available on such short notice. The man was skeptical: “Are you sure it’s that you just don’t want to stay here?” But I kept on assuring him I had to go, and he finally took pity on me and put the money back on my card.

The cabbie was still waiting for me when I came outside. He drove me to a LaQuinta Inn, walked me inside, spoke to his friend and secured me a suite-the only room they had available-for $75 a night. It was a little more than what I was going to spend at the other place, but it was worth it for the peace of mind. I couldn’t (and probably didn’t) thank the cab driver or his friend at the hotel enough. They didn’t have to help me, and they did.

How has a stranger helped you in a kind way?

Miranda Meyer: Oh, man, so many times. I have an amazing ability to lose important things, very much including my phone and wallet. The number of Samaritans who have gone out of their way to get those things back to me is truly amazing and gives me hope for humankind.

My favorite instance, though, is from a travel snafu. I was supposed to fly from Beirut to Istanbul with a layover in Cairo. A cab driver I’d made friends with the day before had promised to come pick me up to drive me to the airport. He didn’t, of course, so I was late and missed my flight. It was early in the morning so a lot of staff weren’t around yet, so there I was, wandering around the Beirut airport, looking for someone, anyone, who could help me out.

Eventually I just walked straight into the behind-the-scenes offices where travelers/customers are…not really supposed to go, looking for the office of the airline I was flying. I found it, and in it I found a solitary older man. He was naturally taken aback to see me, but when I explained the situation he said he’d help me out as soon as he could (I can’t remember why now, as it was years ago, but he couldn’t do anything about it until more stuff in the airport got up and running.) He let me sit there with him, got me a coffee, and chatted. He told me about his daughter. When it was time for him to go sit on the customer service desk he took me with him and let me sit there with him (people kept coming up to ask me for help and I had to keep explaining I didn’t work there, OOPS), continued to feed me, and eventually he got me on a flight out to Cairo.

When I got to Cairo it wasn’t clear whether I was gonna be able to make it to Istanbul that same day (because of course I’d missed my connection), and for really silly bureaucratic reasons I had to leave the customs area and come back in, meaning I had to buy a visa since I’d technically be entering Egypt. In the Cairo airport you buy your visa at a banking/money exchange window, and I explained my situation to the guy working there. He gave me his number and told me if I ended up having to spend a night in Cairo he could help me out, show me around and help me find a place to stay. (I know this could have been a very sinister offer, but I have a lot of experience with those and I feel 90% sure he was legitimately just a nice guy.) Ultimately, I didn’t end up having to do that, but he was totally prepared to take me under his wing, just like the man in Beirut did.

Lucy Hallowell: I have probably told this story a hundred times before but let’s make it one hundred and one. Before my wife started medical school my then fiancee (now wife) decided that we were going to have an adventure. I had just finished law school and she was about to start four years of med school followed by a million years of residency and fellowship. This was our moment to travel. We seized it by flying to London. We landed on July 6, 2005. The next morning we slept in. When we woke up it was late morning. As we passed storefronts my wife said, “Something has happened.” There were television screens everywhere and we finally worked out that there had been a major terrorist attack on the public transportation.

We had to call home and we had to call fast. It took us forever to track down a phone card and a place to use it to call our freaked out parents who assumed we had been up exploring the city early and were probably dead. On our way back to the hotel it started to pour. We were soaked, very shaken, and looking like a couple of wet cats I’m sure when a gold Mercedes pulled up next to us. A woman wearing clothes that probably cost more than our entire month-long trip through Europe asked if we were okay and if we needed a ride. Seeing a friendly face when we were out of our minds with fear was something I will never forget. We didn’t catch a ride with her but almost 10 years later I think of her sometimes and smile. The world was very dark then but the people couldn’t have been nicer.

Elaine Atwell: A year ago I was walking to work when I was hit by a sudden New Orleans downpour. My route took me by a rather crusty looking gentlemen in one of those unmarked white cargo vans that have such a dreaded place in the female subconscious. When I was mere feet away, the man jumped out of the van and slid open the door. My mind when to that terrified-but-paralyzed nightmare place where I was just like “So this is it. This man is going to kidnap me and make a suit out of my skin.” The man proceeded to reach into the van and pull out…an umbrella, which he gave to me for absolutely free.

Dara Nai: When I was a mere pup and my girlfriend at the time was even younger, we went to Provincetown for the first time. On our last night, we completely ran out of drinking money. We were so young, we didn’t even have credit cards yet. I guess an older (30s?) couple overheard us being bummed and took pity on us, or thought it was cute, or something, but they bought us two beers. It seems like nothing now but at the time, it was the best thing ever. Wherever you are, older lesbians, I remember and thank you!

Chelsea Steiner: The day before Thanksgiving, I was running errands in my mom’s PT Cruiser when I skidded and ended up rolling the car three times and sliding into a ditch. The car landed upside down, so I was hanging from my seat belt. I was terrified and alone, when a man came out of nowhere and told me to stay calm, and that everything was going to be okay. He turned out to be an off-duty EMT, and he pulled me out of the wreck and stayed with me until the ambulance came.

I never saw him again and I never got his name, but he was calm and kind during one of the most terrifying moments of my life. The car was wrecked, but I was miraculously unharmed. Wear your seat belts, kids! And maybe don’t drive a PT Cruiser.

Chloë: A couple days after I turned 18, I hopped on a plane to Stockholm and spent three months working my way down Europe with nothing but a roller suitcase and iron will not to be molested. On my way from Berlin to Paris, I realized something terrible had happened: my hideous, enormous purse had gone missing on the subway en route to the train station. That purse contained all my ids, passport, money, phone, maps, contacts, literally everything. The German police were less than impressed by my plight and quickly dismissed the dumb, crying American to return to their busy schedule of marching ominously. I dried my tears and formulated a plan: I’d go back to the hostel, talk them into letting me crash on the floor, and call the American embassy to get new paperwork started. As soon as I walked into the hostel, the front desk woman looked at me and pulled out… MY PURSE.

“Someone found it in the train station, figured out that an American would probably be staying here, and brought it by.”

Not only had someone found and returned my purse, they did it with a lucky guess. I have no idea who that person was, but at that moment an untapped vein of latent Catholicism gushed forth, and I wondered if maybe this was a miracle. I left Berlin with a newfound appreciation for German problem solving and rule following. DANKE.

Valerie Anne: Random acts of kindness are my lifeblood. New York gets a bad rap for people having bad attitudes-though it’s not entirely unfounded-but I’ve had some great moments here. I’ve had a man pushing around a shopping cart full of random objects take pity on my newspaper hat and give me an umbrella. I’ve had cashiers spot me a dollar when they ended up being cash only and I was a little short. Little things happen all the time that restore my faith in humanity and keep me smiling.

Possibly my favorite story (though it’s my parents’ least favorite) is one night when I was heading back to Queens late after a night out, feeling pleasantly tipsy, ready for a nice relaxing train ride home. When I got down to my subway platform, I was displeased to see the poles plastered with service change announcements-E train running on the F line, uptown running on the downtown track, etc. I was squinting at them, trying to put the pieces together like a detective looking at a murderboard, and when I thought maybe I figured it out, I thought I’d ask someone for confirmation. An unassuming girl about my age was standing nearby and didn’t have headphones in or anything, so I asked her if she could confirm what I believed would be the right train to take me uptown. I had reached the same conclusion she did, and we discovered we were both heading to Astoria, so we decided to be travel buddies. She had a tall boy of Bud Light in a paper bag she hadn’t opened yet, and asked if I wanted to share, which of course I did. So we chatted and drank while we waited. When a train showed up, standing just inside the doors was a youngish guy, and we asked if the train was going to Queens, he said it was, so we hopped in. We started chatting with the guy and he asked how we knew each other and was shocked to find out the answer was, “We just met on that subway platform.” Turns out the train we were on was NOT going to Queens, so the three of us had to hop off at another station and run around trying to find our way. Through teamwork and determination, we finally did, and the girl got off a stop early so she could walk me most of the way home. Our phones were both dead and we didn’t have paper or anything, so we parted ways without a way to contact each other, but we were okay with it. Just two ships that helped each other find our way in the night.

Kim Hoffman: The kindness of strangers is the stuff that makes my eyes fill up like lakes. It happens when you least expect it, as it should. I’ve had strangers help me when my car broke down. I’ve had strangers return to me my wallet, or my cell phone, or how about the couple that received my giant bin of life writing (all my old essays from school, childhood stories, my dissertation, tons of notes, journals, etc.) by mistake, and then somehow tracked down the moving company that delivered it to them and had them send it back to me. Now that was a miracle. I’m typically happy just to receive a kind smile from a stranger though, too. To me, that can completely change my day around if someone takes that extra step.

Something happened the other day here in Portland (but didn’t involve me) where I witnessed a pack come off the back of a motorcyclist’s bike, and all the cars behind him were very careful to move around it while someone in a truck pulled over, blocked traffic, fetched the pack and then met the biker halfway up the block who was now walking toward him after he pulled over. When they made the exchange, everyone was tapping on their horns and cheering. It was incredibly sweet. I don’t have to be involved to be whelmed by strangers-sometimes being that eye that witnesses the moment creates the most validating, artistic, reassuring sense of the world.

Dana Piccoli: I have had many experiences with kind strangers but there are two that I remember very fondly. When I was in 8th grade, I got to visit my future all girls high school and spend the day with a student. I’d always wanted to go to this school, and I was beyond excited to see what would be in store for me the next year. That was until I started up the walkway, and slipped on the ice and fell on my ass. Two upperclasswomen were sitting outside, having coffee or whatever, and instead of laughing at me, they got up, walked over and picked me up, made sure I wasn’t dirty and helped me inside. What could have been a beyond humiliating experience, showed me how strong the bonds of sisterhood were at the school. I spent the rest of 8th grade desperately wishing for high school to come.

The other was when an ex-girlfriend of mine, who decided to take me to a coffeeshop to break up with me. I don’t know, I think she read something about how extra awful it was to break up with someone where they not only get to be upset, but have to cry in front of strangers. Real swell of her. Anyway, I walked out so I could save some face, and cried off to the side of the building. A slightly drunk girl and her friend walked by, and must have sensed it was a heartbreak cry, so they stopped. “He’s not worth it, honey.” She, I corrected her, assuming that she’d probably walk away. “She’s not worth it, honey,” she said and put her hand on my shoulder. It was this small thing but it really did sink in that yeah, I was worth more than a kiss off with a side of public humiliation.

Ali Davis: The guy who I mentioned in last week’s Huddle was pretty great-the fact that he could tell I might be rattled after getting yelled at and just came and stood with me for a while meant a lot.

I also had a total stranger double back and turn around to help me change a flat tire once. I was feeling so stupid and 1950s housewife because I just could not get the lug nuts off. I felt much better about that when I saw him literally standing on the lug wrench-it took his full body weight to get the damn things to loosen. The guy went out of his way to help me and wouldn’t let me buy him lunch or anything.

I love the little kindness-of-strangers moments that happen every day. Like I love holding doors for each other. Hey! You’re another human being on this planet! Let me make your way just a tiny bit easier. Moments like that are like grace notes to life.

Grace Chu: One time a former roommate and I picked up a small table and a couple of stools from Craigslist and attempted to hail a cab. None of the cabbies wanted to be bothered getting out to cram the table into the trunk, so we just stood there waving impotently as yellow car after yellow car looked at us, then our furniture, then whizzed on by. Then it started drizzling. We started moving our furniture under an awning.

Suddenly, a van pulled up, and a muscular woman with a commanding voice opened the side door. “Come on. We’ll take you to the subway-or home if you’re in lower Manhattan.” The only other person in the van was the driver, a thin lady with a ponytail.

If they were serial killers, so be it: We didn’t want to ruin our furniture. The passenger helped us move our furniture to the cargo area and we climbed in. It turned out the driver and passenger were a lesbian couple doing errands in Manhattan. The muscular woman told us that if we wanted to hail a cab with large items, put the items out of sight. Then one person should jump in and only then should the other person start loading the trunk.

“If their light is on, and they stop and you jump in, they’ll have to take you-or you can sue them!” she said.

The other woman nodded in agreement.

My roommate and I looked at each other. We were just saved by the Lesbian A Team.

Erin Wilson: I have been shown kindness from complete strangers so many times! From someone paying for my coffee in the drive-thru to giving me their seat on the train to helping me carry my groceries to my car. However, there was one day recently that I was visibly upset about something personal going on in my life and a man saw me crying and simply said, “I don’t know what is wrong, but I do know that it will be okay eventually.” I was touched by his words. Sometimes, all we need to hear is everything is going to be ok, even from a complete stranger.

Trish Bendix: The first time I traveled somewhere by myself, I was 18 and headed to Austin for SXSW. Another friend was going for work, but she was staying at a fancy, expensive place near the action, so I had to find an affordable hotel a little farther from downtown. I naively found a cheap place on a travel website and decided it looked okay. I wasn’t planning on spending a ton of time in my room, anyway.

When I landed in Austin, I jumped in a cab and told the driver where to take me. He immediately gave me a look that said, “There?” It wasn’t until we got closer to the “hotel” that he started to tell me he didn’t think I should stay there. We pulled up and I saw all kinds of people just hanging out outside. He pointed to them and said, “When you leave your room, they will break in and take your things. These are not good people.” I could tell he knew what he was talking about, but was too proud. He said he would wait until I checked in, just in case I changed my mind.

I had such an uncomfortable feeling, like everyone’s eyes were on me as I went inside to check in. I just knew I couldn’t stay there-it wouldn’t be safe. But I had prepaid with my credit card (bad idea #450) and had to put some acting skills to use. Coupled with real emotions, I started balling in front of the receptionist, telling him I had a family emergency and had to return home right away. Could he please refund me? I would never be able to afford another place to stay without it, and I was already worried I wouldn’t be able to afford any kind of place available on such short notice. The man was skeptical: “Are you sure it’s that you just don’t want to stay here?” But I kept on assuring him I had to go, and he finally took pity on me and put the money back on my card.

The cabbie was still waiting for me when I came outside. He drove me to a LaQuinta Inn, walked me inside, spoke to his friend and secured me a suite-the only room they had available-for $75 a night. It was a little more than what I was going to spend at the other place, but it was worth it for the peace of mind. I couldn’t (and probably didn’t) thank the cab driver or his friend at the hotel enough. They didn’t have to help me, and they did.

How has a stranger helped you in a kind way?

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