25 Signs She’s Just Not That Into You

*A version of this article was first published in May, 2016. 

In gay relationships, traditional gender roles are tossed aside and lesbians are left straddling the line between going for what we want and avoiding emotionally crippling rejection, humiliation and insecurity. I’d love for us all to get in a place where we can clearly flirt with and politely rebuff each other without anyone wanting to throw up and die. Recognize these signals, and you’re en route to more receptive people pastures.

25 Signs She’s Just Not That Into You

1. She only wants to have sex when she’s drunk.


2. She doesn’t care about your work, particularly if it’s music, art, writing, stand up comedy, photography, or anything else creative.

3. She doesn’t want to have breakfast.

4. She doesn’t introduce you to her friends.


5. She or her friends excuse themselves when you try to strike up a conversation.

6. She doesn’t follow you back.

7. She doesn’t want to come over or spend the night.


8. She gets wasted every time you hang out.

9. She sincerely asks if you have a psychological condition such as sociopathy.

10. She messes up your stuff and never apologizes.

11. She never mentions you on her blog.


12. She bitches about her ex on the first date.

13. She invites you somewhere and then ignores you.

14. She flirts with other girls in front of you or on social media.

15. She never makes eye contact.


16. She only talks about herself.

17. She is rude or embarrassing around your coworkers and friends.


18. She’s in a relationship with someone else.

19. She’s thirstier for your friends, contacts, and money than she is for your snatch.

20. She doesn’t like to kiss.


21. She stops trying to hang out after you sleep together.

22. She’s “just not looking for a relationship.”

23. She never texts you first.


24. Her replies to your texts are one word, late or vague.

25. She forgets almost everything you tell her…unless it’s about her.

(Special thanks to Ginger, Samee, Cristi and Rachel for their selfless insight into being not that into her.)

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