Kathy Griffin’s D-List wedding

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on

My girlfriend and I are in

the midst of planning our wedding — although we’re not as far along

as we theoretically should be. However, we do take some comfort in having

secured a nice local lesbian rabbi as our officiant. But perhaps we

acted too hastily and without enough imagination. Should we, perhaps,

have considered Kathy Griffin for the ceremony?

You may think I jest, but D-Lister

Griffin is licensed to perform weddings in New York and just performed

the ceremony
for

a New York couple. It seems the couple, Brian Antsley and Erika Shapiro,

were big Griffin fans. Their request made its way to her, so she got

her online ordination from the Universal Life Church, jumped through

the necessary New York hoops, and performed the ceremony on Saturday.

True to character, Griffin opened the ceremony with raunchy jokes and

then had the bride recite the reception menu. (Note to self: Discuss

whether or not rabbi should open with a raunchy joke.)

The obvious irony with Griffin’s

ordination is how much flak she got for her Emmy acceptance speech,

which included this tidbit:

“A lot of people come up

here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one

had less to do with this award than Jesus. So all I can say is, suck

it, Jesus; this award is my god now.”

So one does not think of her

as the obvious candidate for ordination. (You can revisit the linster’s coverage of the Jesus speech here.)

It sounds like the wedding

was a success for all (except perhaps any grandmothers present). The

bride and groom are huge fans and were thrilled to have Griffin there on

their big day. “It’s so unusual and something we’ll always remember,”

said the bride. Because most brides have a tough time remembering their

wedding day. And Kathy Griffin got some PR — not to mention footage

for an episode of My Life on the

D-List
that

will air in June. So everybody wins.

Now, if you’re reading this

and thinking about what jokes you want Kathy Griffin to tell at your

wedding, you’re likely out of luck. Although she’s legal to perform

weddings galore in New York, she says this was a one-shot deal. (She

may be missing out, though. I think the “Kathy Griffin Wedding Chapel”

has a nice ring to it. You’d think she’d at least open one in Las Vegas.)

Regardless, I guess this means that she won’t be officiating my wedding

even if I wanted her to. Which I don’t, because I’m not a big enough

fan.

But if I were going to go for

a celebrity officiant, who would it be? She wouldn’t even need to be

licensed in New York, because New York won’t recognize our marriage anyway.

Hmmm. My first thought is Jodie Foster because she’s smart and my girlfriend

and I both like her.

However, I want my girlfriend

to pay attention to me at the wedding. And Jodie Foster isn’t Jewish,

so she’s not a good replacement for a rabbi.

Nobody else really comes to

mind. I guess I don’t really need any guestbians on my wedding day.

Funny that.