Sea of Bees is the stage name of indie-folk singer and multi-instrumentalist Julie Ann Bee, whose recent release, Orangefarben, immediately made it to my list of 2012’s top albums of the year. The album was written following a year filled with major highs and major lows. After building up the courage to come out to her family, friends and listeners, Julie, was able to freely enter a relationship with her first love. As with most first loves, the relationship didn’t last and Bee poured herself into her songwriting. What she came up with was crafted with such sincerity, it’s almost impossible not to relate.
We got to speak with Julie while she was away on her first European tour. If you’ve been following her on Twitter, Facebook or Tumblr, it’s been apparent that any clouds that were once following her are now very far away. She shared her coming out process with us and also filled us in on what has been making her so happy these days.
AfterEllen.com: I’ve been a fan of your music since first hearing your single “Marmalade” back in 2010 and I was really struck by how unique your voice is. How did you first get into making music?
Julie Bee: Hmm, well it was actually at church. You see, I went to church when I was younger because my sister and cousin thought I should go. So I went and I saw this boy and this girl singing and playing the guitar and I was just like, “I want to do that.” My brother had this one-string guitar in my shed. I was this preppy, quiet girl – totally girly-girl and here I was with this guitar in our shed. I just started playing the string and it wasn’t tuned or anything. I started finding notes that I liked and just started humming to it. I tried really hard to play music, I’d even use a penny as a pick because I didn’t have anything else.
AE: So, whether you knew it or not, you’ve been musically inclined from a very young age.
JB: Yeah, like I always wanted to do it but never thought I could. I didn’t really have any influences, I only knew about the church. That was my community. When I was six years old, there was this piano player who looked like Bob Ross. [Laughs]
AE: Ha, happy clouds!
JB: Yeah, that guy! My sister and I used to sit in the seats at church and fight but when he would start playing we would stop whatever we were doing and I would close my eyes just wanting to learn how to sing. It was really pretty.
AE: Well you’ve got a really great voice for storytelling and this last album, Orangefarben, is really heart-breaking. I know that a lot has been going on for you in the past year and a half or so and, I assume, a lot of it culminated in the making of this album – would you be comfortable talking about your coming out process?
JB: Absolutely! That’s totally fine. It was actually quite simple: When I was two years old I remember my babysitter Pat – she would scratch my back and I remember thinking, “Wow, I really like her.” [Laughs]
It wasn’t that I didn’t like men, I just knew that I liked these women. I loved thinking about them and my teachers growing up in elementary school – I would be loving Miss Jones and Miss McCarthy. I just really had love for these women and I didn’t understand why. In kindergarten, (my classmate) Benjamin kissed me on the mouth and I remember thinking, “I don’t really like that.” [Laughs]
Then there was my first love, Orangefarben. I had always dreamed of being with women but everyone I liked either was straight or wasn’t comfortable enough with themselves in terms of who they wanted to be. So, my first love – I was working in a coffee shop and making her drink. She came in with her dad and I remember the way she stared at me was not like any girl had ever stared at me. It was like I was attractive or something. I just wanted to circle around her and know what she was thinking. So she kept coming after me and seeking me out. Texting me things when she got the job at my coffee shop –
AE: Oh, wow! [Nervous laughter and thoughts of Glenn Close]
JB: I remember, on Easter day I got a text that was like, “I really like you. I’m sorry, do you like boys?” And I’m like, “No! I never liked them, I – hi.” [Laughs] It was just kind of freeing. Sea of Bees was just starting to get going. I had a show and I brought her to it and my parents were there. I took my mom to the back and started crying. I was like, “That’s the girl that I really like. Like, I like her, you know? I think we’re going to date, like girlfriends.” And she was like, “I always knew about you.” And I was like, “Really? Why didn’t you f–king say anything?” So I was like, “Well can you tell dad?” Because I’m still a daddy’s girl and it was really hard for me to think about telling him myself.
Coming out, though, was really hard because most of my family is very Christian and I never really believed in Jesus. I think there’s something bigger than me – I just feel like it’s love. That sounds really f–king hippie, but that’s just what it is.
AE: Nah, I wouldn’t call it hippie. How else are you going to describe it? So, I’m glad to hear that it was a – well, it sounds like it was a good coming out process. A lot of people that I know have had some really bad experiences.
JB: It was hard. My sister actually took me into a room and told me that nothing will ever be the same. We won’t ever have anything but blood. My brother said that he wouldn’t condone it at all. My other brother, who lives in Montana and is a cowboy, he said he loved me no matter what. It’s taken time but he realized I’m still his little sister. I’m still that little girl that he’d take on bike rides and tell jokes to. My sister though, she likes to ignore it to make herself be able to connect with me. We’re all really close still; it’s just definitely a process.
AE: Well it’s still pretty new to them. If you give them time to deal with it, I’m sure things will get better. You’ve been dealing with this for a long time, even if it was hard for you, but this is still new to them. Once they figure out that it’s really nothing – it’s such a small part of who you are – hopefully they’ll come around.
JB: Well, like you said, a lot of people had harder times coming out.
AE: Well that doesn’t take away from how difficult your experience was with coming out. Coming out is a difficult experience for everyone, even people with families that already seem to be ok with the LGBT community. It’s never easy.
So, with the album itself, I can understand the feeling of wanting to put all of your emotions down into song, but did it make you nervous at all once it was about to be released to the public? Or did you feel like maybe a weight had been lifted?
JB: I think some things are meant to be kept for me but with this it’s like, I’d rather share with the world something that we all go through. Like if it helps me, it might help someone else. I kind of want to die empty; I don’t want to have anything (emotionally) inside of me left. You know what I mean?
AE: [Laughs] That’s one hell of a way of putting it!
JB: [Laughs] Yeah, I mean I just want to put it all out there. Some things are meant to be kept for yourself, but experiences like that – it was the most freeing and the most helpful thing for me to do for myself. It’s not like I was trying to inspire anybody but I wanted people, no matter gay, straight, whatever, to know that they’re not alone. Love is f–king blinding and it’s weird how low you can go as a human. Then you meet someone and suddenly you’re like, “Wow, how could I have felt so f–king low?”
AE: It’s funny because when I wrote the review for AfterEllen.com, I was saying I know that the songs were very personal for you but the songs that you sing and the emotions you talk about resonate with so many people. It’s a powerful ability to be able to write about experiences or emotions that are so universal. How does that make you feel as a songwriter? Like, I can’t necessarily find words to express myself so I turn to music to do that for me.
JB: I guess I feel like a friend. Just saying how it is sometimes and hopefully it will resonate to someone else. I’m not trying to be a rock ‘n roll star. Everything I’ve done has probably been done in the past but to be honest and be whole-hearted I think is rare nowadays. And I’m not trying to be rare, I’m just doing it because it makes me happy. Hopefully it will help someone else and we can all just – I don’t know, it sounds like I want the whole world to be happy. [Laughs]I just want to be real. I don’t want to make music to be a f–king badass. I just want to feel good waking up every day doing something that I love. I have a good life and I want that for most people. There’s a lot of assholes out there.
AE: That’s for sure. So, you’re on this massive tour right now.
JB: Yeah, I was just in Norway and I was up on stage like, “My people!” [Laughs] And I was so excited in Germany.
AE: Yeah I saw some of your tweets. It sounds like you’re having an amazing time right now. I also saw from your Tumblr account – which, by the way, I love because it is so random.
JB: Ha, yeah, like two women kissing and some children.
AE: Yeah and animals and some old photography or pictures of old tools. It made me laugh.
JB: Yeah, I just post things up there for memories. Like the picture of the wood and the water is because of the place I’m staying right now. And I put the picture up of the dog because I really wanted a dog right at that moment. And the picture of the old man (with tattoos) because I wanted a new tattoo. I want to get tatted all over the place.
AE: So it sounds like you’re pretty impulsive.
JB: I am, I just did that. [Shows me a new tattoo.]
AE: What does it say?
JB: You’re going to think I’m cheesy. I don’t want to tell you! [Laughs]
AE: Ha, you must not think very highly of me if you think I’m going to make fun of you for being cheesy!
JB: Do you know Kip (Malone) from TV on the Radio? I texted him the other day asking if he knew a really good tattoo artist in New York and he texted back with someone’s name. So I went and it was this cool dude with a big beard. I just drew something up for him right there really quickly and gave it to him. He looked at it and was like, “You don’t have to know everything, just be today who you want to be.” And I’m like, yeah, you don’t have to know everything about the future. Just be right now.
AE: That’s a good quote for life! That’s not cheesy! It also goes really well with your impulsivity. It makes perfect sense actually. So, on your Tumblr page, you said something about finally being truly happy. What do you feel has gotten you to this point?
JB: This has probably been my favorite year. I’ve been through a lot and am realizing more what I want in life. I don’t want drama. If there’s drama I just don’t affiliate myself with it. I’ve been surrounding myself with really good people. Like my best friend John. I stick close to him because he’s just up front and open. And I’m with this really wonderful person right now who is just really easy to be with. Like she’s not one of those people who is trying to slap you around or trying to get something from you. She won’t say, oh you’re not doing enough for me now. It’s like, can you just live your life and if you don’t like it, go. You can’t change for somebody. You have to be inspired. I just want to go up in the world.
AE: And that’s what a relationship should be all about.
JB: Yeah it’s like just go up, up, up – like that movie. I want to be with somebody who wants their children to fly and have magical powers.
AE: Oh yeah, talk about party of tears, I was sobbing for over half of that movie to the point of not being able to breathe. My friends were making fun of me.
JB: Aw, yeah it’s a great movie, isn’t it? Makes me feel all mushy inside.[Laughs]
AE: So are you working on some new songs now that you’re taking the world by storm?
JB: Oh f–k yeah! I’ve got three new fun little ditties and it’s feeling really good.
AE: When do you think people who aren’t halfway across the world will be able to get a taste of them?
JB: Well John and I are thinking about spending more time working on this next album and being a little more picky. I mean, Orangefarben was really fast. If I had more time on it I probably would’ve gone nuts and made it bigger than it is. I’m happy with it and I’m proud of it but I think we want to take more time on this next album and invest a lot of soul and heart into it more. With creativity, the more time you have, the more creative you can get. So maybe the beginning of the year next year I’ll have new material out. I know B-sides are coming out this year too.
I did a cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Rhiannon” – oh it’s such a good song. My friend Jen, who is a drummer – she recorded it with me. She came out not that long ago and she and I are really similar. She’s a hottie, one of my best friends ever and she’s awesome. She’s actually going to be playing my American shows with me. I like to play with my friends when I can.
AE: Since you’re in such a different emotional state than you were when you were recording the album, have you made any adjustments to the way you are playing songs from Orangefarben live?
JB: I think I’ve come past it. Like I really feel like doing this album has made me come clean inside and out. It made me realize how strong I am. Like when I think about how much power someone had over me it’s kind of scary, but then I think about how much power I have and it feels really amazing. So when I sing them now, I just think about people and how far I’ve come some times. But I think about putting on a good vibe and enjoying myself and having my team enjoy themselves.
Looking back on the album though, I guess it depends on my mood. Sometimes I’ll look back and think, “Wow that was painful,” but I won’t cry or miss it! It was a different point in my life and we’re both different people now and hopefully we can just be stronger for it and grow up more. Because it is all just experiences and it either works or it doesn’t. So you just keep yourself good at heart.
