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Take Back the Knife: Horror films for the holiday season

Take Back the Knife is a monthly column about women in horror by genre writer/director Stacie Ponder.

Ah, the holiday season – a time when one’s thoughts turn to eggnog and horror movies. Okay, it’s a time when my thoughts turn to eggnog and horror movies. Okay, so my thoughts are always on horror movies … but sometimes they’re not on eggnog, so perhaps that’s enough to make the holidays special. But this edition of Take Back the Knife isn’t about me, friends. It’s about you. And at last when you’ve opened your final present, stuffed in that last cookie, and made out with everyone under the mistletoe and you say to yourself, “You know, self, I think it’s high time for a snow-laden seasonal horror movie featuring a notable female character or two … but what, o what shall I watch?”, fear not … for I am here to help.

The Children (2008) – From The Bad Seed to Orphan to Bloody Birthday, I’m a big fan of the “killer kids” subgenre … so when this British flick came along, I was predisposed to dig it. I didn’t just dig it, however – I fell in love with it in all of its twisted glory. The L Word‘s Rachel Shelley stars in this disturbing, gruesome, and downright scary tale of creepy children ruining the Christmas holiday not with temper tantrums, but with evilness and murder. The Shining (1980) – Jack Nicholson gets all the attention for his turn as ca-razy and homicidal innkeeper/writer Jack Torrance, but in my mind, it’s Shelley Duvall who brings home the gold as his wife Wendy. Sure, she snivels a bit … but then who wouldn’t if her husband was threatening to beat her to death with a baseball bat? I think anyone in that situation is entitled to more than a bit of sniveling.

Wendy’s stronger than she seems, though, and while she may be terrified and confused, she still defends herself and her son against her murderous husband and the ghostly inhabitants of the Overlook Hotel. If I were she, I would simply sit in the corner and cry. That’s right, I would – and I’m only a little bit ashamed about it. Black Christmas (1974) – Please note the date – it’s 1974, which means I’m not talking about the horrendous 2006 remake of this classic horror film. I like to pretend that the remake doesn’t even exist, it’s so bad – please don’t make me do otherwise. Anyway, Black Christmas is indeed a classic of the genre because it’s well-crafted and GD scary.

There’s a killer tucked away in the rafters of a sorority house, and no one knows he’s there. One by one, he picks off the house members, who include a young Margot Kidder at her boozy, sexy best, and Olivia Hussey, who has such lovely hair that I want to eat it, even though I know that eating hair is not the best way to enjoy it.

Not only is this a superior horror movie (laced with some of the blackest black comedy you’ll find), it’s a reminder that there once was a time when actresses were allowed to be more than cardboard cutouts and female characters had a bit of depth, even in a slasher film. Want to dazzle your friends with trivia? Black Christmas was directed by Bob Clark, who also graced the world with a holiday classic of a decidedly different stripe: A Christmas Story.

Inside (2007) – Known in its native France as ?Ç l’intérieur, this twisted tale is not for everyone, and certainly not for the easily queasy. It’s Christmas Eve and Sarah is home alone, expecting to give birth to her late husband’s baby the following day. A mysterious woman arrives at Sarah’s door and it’s soon obvious that she wants that baby – and she’ll get it by any means possible. By “any means possible,” mind you, I mean “this crazy bitch has a pair of scissors.”

See, I told you – Inside is not a movie for the faint of heart (or stomach). If you can handle the violence, though, you’ll be treated to an unforgettable and horrifying cinematic experience. The wincing is well worth it for Beatrice Dalle‘s compelling, mesmerizing, and terrifying turn as “La femme.” Shredder (2003) – I don’t know why I like Shredder so much. Is it because all of the snowboarding talk and lingo makes me feel as youthful as someone who might enjoy a Crystal Pepsi or an exhilarating Mountain Dew? Perhaps. Or maybe it’s because Shredder is a snowboarders vs. evil skier horror/comedy reminiscent of those cheesy early 80s slasher flicks, full of humor but played completely straight … well, except for the debates over the sexuality of the adorably tomboyish Pike (Juleah Weikel) – after all, her name does rhyme with a certain epithet, so she must be a lesbian. Okay, maybe I’ve figured out from whence my fondness for this movie arises: I can’t help but love a movie that features a line like “I’m not gay, I’m just horny!”

Terror Train (1980) – No list that talks about women in horror movies would be complete without a mention of Jamie Lee Curtis. I mean, leaving her out would be like trying to make mint chocolate chip ice cream and leaving out the mint, the chocolate chips, or the ice cream. You just don’t do it. Thankfully she starred in the New Year’s Eve thriller Terror Train during her heyday as a Scream Queen so she fits in this list quite nicely. In this classic slasher flick, there’s a killer loose on board a train … a train that he’s filling with terror!

If Jamie Lee and the requisite horror angles aren’t enough to get you watching, then perhaps I should tell you that this film is very much a product of its time – David Copperfield performs magic and dances in the train’s disco lounge; one of the minor characters is played by former Prince protégé Vanity; the killer changes costumes frequently, and one of his masks looks just like film critic Gene Shalit. If all of that isn’t enough to get you watching Terror Train, then … well, what’s your problem? So there you go, some prime holiday-flavored horror flicks featuring some prime leading ladies. I hope this makes your celebrations horrifying! In a good way, I mean – not in a “the tree caught on fire” kind of way. Anyway.

In addition to writing and directing horror films, Stacie Ponder writes about them for Rue Morgue Magazine, AMC TV.com, and her own beloved site, Final Girl. In her spare time, Stacie enjoys a good laugh and looking at kittens.

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