Too much of a good thing


Gong Li

Gong Li’s cleavage is causing a problem. Now if by “problem,” the folks at the Associated Press mean “an instance of spreading joy throughout the world,” I might understand. But those grammar sticklers are apparently insisting on the dictionary definition. Seems in Li’s new, lavish Chinese period piece Curse of the Golden Flower, the film’s 9th century costumes are doing things to her bosom that Wonderbras only dream of. And that, in turn, is proving to be simply too much of a good thing for some moviegoers. The Chinese movie rating system has no guidelines covering sexual content (while they are ready and waiting with the scissors for any political content). So unsuspecting viewers — including children — are being subjected to Li’s generous and generously displayed attributes. Said one concerned mother about her son:

“I’m not sure how much of those shiny white breasts rubbed off his eyes.”

For the sake of children and their delicate eyes all over the world, I did extensive research to help illuminate this pressing problem. I am nothing if not thorough.

Gong Li

My conclusion: I must see this film immediately, if not sooner.

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