In the context of the same-sex marriage debate, it’s natural for the queer community to ignore the other side—after all, they’ve ignored us plenty. But we learn nothing in doing so, and it’s certainly not the way to build bridges. So what is the other side of the story? Director Becca Roth set out to cover both sides in her documentary One: A Story of Love and Equality.
A New Yorker, Becca was still celebrating the passage of the Marriage Equality Act when news hit of North Carolina’s amendment proposal to make it unconstitutional to recognize same-sex marriages or civil unions (commonly known as Amendment 1). In the lead up to the vote, Becca wanted to find out how opponents and supporters of the proposed amendment felt. In pursuit of this she set off for North Carolina with her girlfriend Melina in tow.
Becca and Melina agreed early on that they wouldn’t tell people about their relationship. And yet they still had an incredibly difficult time securing interviews with people from the “For” side. On at least two separate occasions “For” groups sent out a mass email discouraging supporters from speaking with Becca.
Unsurprisingly, she had a much easier time with LGBT individuals, including several lesbian couples.
There’s Christy and Jenn, who are just about to have a baby. Longtime couple Helen and Susan are also a part of the doc, their story made sweeter when we find out the two reunited after years apart. And then there’s Kay, who’s been with her partner Marge for over 50 years, but sadly now visits her in an assisted living home. Most of these women don’t know whether or not they’ll be staying in North Carolina if voters approve the amendment.
There were a bunch of gay and trans folks, as well as allies, who were also more than happy to speak with Becca. But the resistance from the “For” side persisted, until finally Becca sat down with Tim Wilkins, who formed Cross Ministry to help those with “unwanted same-sex attractions.”
In the past, Tim had been sexually involved with men. Eventually he put that part of himself aside and today he lives with his wife of 18 years and their three children. It’s easy to jump to conclusions about Tim, but he genuinely seems like a good person who harbors no ill will towards LGBT people. I guess this is what Becca meant about getting to know the other side.
Tim connects Becca with Pastor Bill Campbell, who, again, isn’t a bad guy, even if I feel he’s on the wrong side of this issue. Husband and wife team Buddy and Ramona Tim aren’t a two-headed beast either, though that’s put to the test when Becca and Melina eventually come out to them as a couple.
Sadly, despite the work of the activists and groups featured in the movie, on May 8, 2012, the vote came down as 61.04% to 38.96% in favor of approving the amendment. It’s this reality that the film’s subjects must deal with as it comes to its end.
Fortunately we know that last October the federal court found the amendment unconstitutional and as a result same-sex marriage is now legal in North Carolina.
One: A Story of Love and Equality is a solid effort from newbie filmmaker Becca Roth. It does a great job showing the human parallels of the two sides, while not vilifying or making idols out of either. This is “one” to watch.
One: A Story of Love and Equality is available for purchase online.
