Papa Roach puts several lesbians to work in their new video


When a few readers tipped us off that the video for Papa Roach‘s latest single, “I Almost Told You That I Love You,” contains a bunch of girls making out, my first reaction was “Papa Roach? They’re still around?”

Papa Roach was part of the late ’90s/early 00s nu-metal explosion that was ushered in by Korn and Limp Bizkit and was kept alive by bands like Linkin Park. Then, by the end of 2004 or so, the world got tired of hearing white dudes from California shriek-rap about their troubles with girls and not being loved by their parents, embracing instead eyeliner-wearing white dudes who shriek-wail earnestly yet cryptically about their troubles with girls and not being loved by their parents.

As emo became recycled and repackaged for mainstream audiences, nu-metal bands like Papa Roach faded from view. (OK, perhaps they haven’t really gone anywhere and are still selling records, but for the past few years it was hard to see anything on MTV other than those boys falling out while panicking at the disco.)

But then, of course, after my moment of unplanned nostalgia, I searched for the video, sat back and cranked up the volume, because lesbians will sit through anything just to see ladies lock lips, and the last time I checked I was still a lesbian.

You can watch it on their site — and, just a warning, it’s probably NSFW).

All I can say is wow. Singer Jacoby Shaddix has lost the pudgy skater look from the “Last Resort” days and looks like the L.A. rock scene threw up on him — but not necessarily in a bad way. Actually — dare I say it — he’s looking a tad bit Shane lately. (Ducks.)

Additionally, Papa Roach’s sound has become grittier, and instead of singing about wanting to off himself and growing up in a broken home,Shaddix sings about the following situation: After a session of especially hot sex, you are tempted to say “I love you,” but then a light bulb in your head fortuitously switches on and stops you from dropping that chunk ofkryptonite on your lady lover with the superhero bedroom skills.

But then he continues: “I’m not the one that you want / not the one that you need / My love is like a f——g disease / You can give me your hand / you can make your demands / I’m the hardest f—-r to please.”

Oh please. We all know that the real reason he is thankful that he did not utter the three words of doom is that the girl would probably freak out and head for the hills, and the hot sex will end. All that passive-aggressive machismo doesn’t fool me.

The video is dark, twisted, raw, sleazy, yet playful and sort of awesome. Everyone is either in a state of ecstasy (most likely brought on by doing ecstasy), and is engaged in couplings from the vanilla to the bizarre. The video also features extreme body modification techniques, and if you get squeamish easily, you might want to Google “suspension body modification” before deciding whether you want to see the video.

Here we have two furries (i.e. people who find pleasure engaging in sex acts while dressed as large muppets). The teddy bear and the bluebird are in the throes of passion; this gives a new twist to the phrase “doggy style.”

And here we have Shaddix getting his bare bottom whipped by a dominatrix.

All right, Grace, you say. We came here to see the hot women kissing, not muppets “rubbing felt” and definitely not Shaddix’s uncovered arse. Fine. Point taken.

Scenes of various women kissing each other appear sporadically in the video, probably to allow viewers to rest their eyes and see something pretty between the more grotesque and WTF scenes. Haven’t we come a long way, ladies? It wasn’t long ago when girl-on-girl smooching was used for shock value. Here, the kissing girls exist to soothe the viewers’ bleeding eyes.

If you make it through the meat hook scene, be sure to watch the last thirty seconds or so for the very lesbionic ending. A Papa Roach video is probably the last place you’d expect to see a scene that lesbians can relate to, but trust me — it’s classic.

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