“Details” gives men the cons of having their girlfriends hook up with other women


It’s no surprise that seeing two women together is one of the biggest male fantasies. We see it everyday: in advertising, on film and TV and online (of course online). A lot of guys are OK with women being gay, as long as they’re not too gay (we are) and are open to including them (we’re not). Finally, a story in a men’s magazine addresses this issue without sounding like a conversation at a frat party. (Coincidentally, it was written by a woman.)

In the January/February issue of Details, Kate Hahn wrote “Flirting With Disaster,” a piece with good examples on why it might not be such a great idea for men to have their wives or girlfriends fulfill their threesome fantasies. She talks to various men who had been previously gung-ho on girl-on-girl, but faced some unexpected consequences.

When Owen, a 37-year-old from Arizona and his wife, whom he met at 19, became friends with a lesbian couple, he began to wonder if his wife would ever consider exploring — you know, with a woman. Turns out, she did, she really did. And then she eventually realized she was actually gay and they got a divorce.

Hahn writes:

Although it takes more than sexual experimentation to make a woman gay, there’s a

particularly cruel irony when a lesbian-obsessed guy gets ditched for another woman. … As their mates dirty-dance to Katy Perry‘s “I Kissed a Girl,” fixate on the latest LiLo and SamRo pics, and rave about Vicky Cristina Barcelona, even the most sensitive guys are apt to cast them in a few scissor-sister scenarios. The problem is, most men are unprepared for what happens after their wives or girlfriends do a shot of the Tila Tequila punch.

Of course, there’s also the flip-side, which Hahn explores, too. What about when a woman’s not that into the idea of acting out her guy’s L Word fantasies (because you know straight men are all about that show), but does it anyway because they’re feeling pressured or eager to please? One couple in the article ended up in counseling after such experimentation, because the woman felt used and exploited, even guilty, as if she cheated on her boyfriend, even though she was just going along with him.

On one hand, I want to see women turning the tables to see how their boyfriends respond: “Hey John, do you what would be really hot? If you hooked up with Chad.” Or “I’ve never been with two men before. Is that something you’d be into?” But, then it might turn out just as poorly.

Ideally, wouldn’t it just be great if guys realized there’s a reason they’re called “fantasies” for a reason? And really, if she “turns gay,” it really means she’s been gay all along. Sorry, Charlie.

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