It’s “Criminal” that Fiona Apple ranks lower than Shakira in sexiness


When releases a new list, I’m generally in agreement with most of their picks. They do their best to be homo-inclusive on the site, and have included several great scenes from film, television and overall parts of pop culture when they compile Top 50 Sex Scenes (High Art ranked fairly high).

However, I’m a little disappointed in their newest list: The 50 Sexiest Music Videos. It’s not all for lack of lesbian content (God-Des and She‘s “Lick It” and Joan Jett‘s “I Love Rock and Roll” both made it in); it’s simply because it sucks. Half of the videos were most likely chosen simply based on the following: “Hey staff — name a music video!” (Beastie Boys‘ “Fight For Your Right to Party”? Sexy? No. Just, no.)

I understand, Nerve; it’s difficult to make a definitive list when there are so many sexy music videos made, but you just made so many missteps with this list. But I can appreciate the fact that 49 of the 50 are made sexy because the featured symbolization of “sex” in the video is female (the sole male video is not even the one by George Michael — it’s D’Angelo‘s “How Does it Feel?”) But, less than half are actually performed by women.

Fiona Apple‘s “Criminal” is a good choice, but at No. 23 while Robert Palmer‘s “Addicted to Love” made it to No. 1? I am all for ladies with guitars, sleek hair, cheekbones and smoky eyes, but I have to say, Ms. Apple nearly nude and dipping into bathwater takes the cake. (It should at least have ranked above “Love Shack.”)

What’s your favorite sexy music video? Does have it right?

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