So Your Girlfriend Wants a Threesome – Here’s What it Could Mean

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Note: When AfterEllen discusses threesomes, of course we mean three females. So now that THAT’S cleared up…

You come home one day and the woman of your dreams says she wants to do the very thing you’ve actually been dreaming about too – having a threesome.  This could be your lucky day. But before you start looking for that lucky third girl, keep in mind that just like most things, this newly expressed desire might be about more than it seems. Here are a few things that request for a walk on the wild side could actually mean.

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It could mean she wants a threesome. Simple. 

It’s possible that’s she’s a straight-shooting, sexually adventurous kind of woman and she simply wants to have a threesome. If you are in a strong relationship or a super casual one in which neither of you are concerned about what a little adventure might do to it, then play away.

It could mean she wants an open relationship.

Suggesting a threesome can sometimes be a way to test the waters when it comes to introducing additional partners to your relationships. That could mean a one-time threesome, an occasional foray, frequent swinging, or even additional longtime partners that may be romantically as well as sexually involved with either or both you. The trick is to know what her interest is to be sure you’re both on the same page.

It could mean she wants someone else.

This is can be tricky business. A threesome is great fun if it’s about adding to an already solid relationship. But it can be a whole lot of not fun if it’s that she’s over you and simply doesn’t want to deal with breaking up. If you are feeling at all insecure in your connection – steer clear of the ménage à trois.

It could mean she wants to take your sex life up a notch.

Wanting a threesome could mean that she’s ready for more adventure in the bedroom. If sex with the lights on is as adventurous as things have gotten, then a threesome may be a pretty big leap. So, baby steps might be a better idea. Have sex with the lights on. Try a new position. Introduce a toy. If you’re already playing in the advanced league, she may be ready for this 2.0 play. To my mind, this is one instance where it never hurts to wait because getting it right is well worth the while.

It could mean she thinks she wants one.

Threesomes in the movies – porn or otherwise – are not the same as having one in real life. Trust me. She may imagine it one way and you may be imagining it wholly differently. It may be the myth of the threesome in which she is interested and not the reality. Be sure you tell her how you envision such a foray and inquire what she imagines as well. Fantasizing with you about having one might be all the play she really needs.

It could mean she knows – thinks –  YOU want one.

If she loves you, she may do nearly anything for you. But a threesome is not something you want her to do just for you. A threesome can be A LOT of fun. But it can also bring up a lot of feelings – for you both. It’s important that both of you are all in and that you have talked about how it might go; what’s allowed and what isn’t; and what kind of feelings might come up, including that very dangerous green-eyed monster who goes by the name of jealousy.