Here’s Why Every Straight Guy Needs a Lesbian BFF


If only every straight guy had a lesbian BFF. 

Straight women with a gay, male best friend has become so common, it’s fodder for television and movie scripts. She likes shoes. He likes shoes. She likes shopping. He likes shopping. You get the idea.

This is one lead that straight men need to follow. There are many a straight man who could benefit from having a lesbian BFF. When you hear why you’ll wonder how they’ve managed to go this long without one!


What’s the benefit to us? Well, think of it as a way to teach men about women in a way that will benefit all women, lesbian and straight alike. It’d be nice if straight guys got the message that we’re not just waiting around for the guy who will change our minds. We are women who love – and want to have sex with – other women. It’s a place where we can meet them, so to speak, in an effort to build an understanding between the sexes in a way that is superior to all others. 

First of all, it offers straight guys all of the benefits of having a female confidante without any of the pain in the ass sexual tension. Men and women like to hang out together. But there’s always the “When Harry Met Sally” dilemma hanging heavy in the air around us. Can we really be “just” friends? When you’re a lesbian, the answer is a resounding YES.

That means we don’t need to worry about the possibility of anything untoward going on and neither does his wife or girlfriend. And we get to hang with someone who we like to hang with for any number of reasons other than sex.

The second reason is almost too glaringly obvious to mention. But here it is – We know women because we ARE women.

No, not all women are alike. No, one woman cannot speak for all women. And, no, all lesbian women are not the same just as all straight women are not the same, clearly. But at the core, we are women and no one but a woman can know what it feels like to be a woman. We can give straight men the insider’s view and they never have to worry that we’ll fall in love with them. Plus, we get why they dig women – we do too.


Third, because we have no ulterior motives, we’ll always tell them the truth.

A lesbian BFF isn’t afraid to tell guys the cold, hard truth about sex and dating, and relating to women outside of those contexts as well. We’re not your guy friends who may think telling you the truth is deeper than they want to go with a fellow man. We’re not a prospective mate even in the long-shot category. And we have every reason to want men to treat the women they date and have sex with well – because we want them to treat ALL women well.

Some women still feel constrained from certain behaviors and activities and language. Personally, I’d like to see all of that socialization that holds them back destroyed in a blaze. But, until then, a lesbian can be the BFF who can offer men the best of both worlds, which leads us to reason number four.

Four. We’re women, but we get a pass when it comes to traditional female roles.

It doesn’t make sense. All women have the right to live and dress and act in whatever way feels authentic to them. But until that becomes the reigning reality, I hope we’re modeling a freedom to define what it means to be a woman that ALL women will one day embrace.

If there’s one thing straight guys always have questions about, it’s women’s bodies. Number five – We know them as well as anyone can because, well, we each live in one all our own.

Asking a straight woman about PMS or body hair or whatever else it is about our bodies that remain a mystery, can still be a challenge as every straight woman, theoretically, is a potential sexual or romantic partner, even if it’s only their subconscious brain that is aware of that. But with a lesbian BFF, they can ask away.  And we have the chance to tell them the truth. Yes, we have boobs. Yes, they are great. But, no, they don’t affect our brains. Sigh.


And six,  if there’s no other reason to have a lesbian BFF, every guy needs one so he can learn the true ticket to being a rock star in bed. We know how female orgasm and sexuality really works and we have no reason not to tell you.

We don’t have to be worried that you’ll be threatened or embarrassed or emasculated or whatever. We don’t care. If they want to know, we want to tell them. I like to think of it as doing a solid for my sisters. It can still be tough for women to tell men what they really want because – once again – those sticky social conventions get in the way.

No straight woman wants a man she’s with to think she thinks he doesn’t know what he’s doing in bed – even if he doesn’t. But we’ll tell it to them plain. And when straight women are getting what they want and need in bed from me, they don’t come to us and break our hearts after a few amazing orgasms. I know. I know. Straight girls can be fun. But it always ends in heartbreak.

I can’t speak for all lesbians. But I can speak for myself and I know plenty of lesbian women like me. We like men and if we form a bond with one special enough to be labeled BFF, part of the fun is being able to talk about anything and everything candidly.

There’s too much segregation between the sexes, way too much. A lesbian BFF can be a bridge of sorts.

Now, don’t you dare let a man you hardly know impose on you and be sure to create clear boundaries if and when you do develop a friendship with someone. Remind them they must be respectful and remember that lesbians were not put on earth to educate men in the ways of women. But if they’re lucky, we just might.

And once that bond is in place, it’s one that they will cherish. Trust me. There’s power in sharing information. And it’s high time that men knew that we, lesbians, are the ultimate keepers of female knowledge. We know ALL the things…

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