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Morning Brew: Thursday, April 1

Happy Thursday!

I’d love to see a show of hands who didn’t see this one coming. Real Housewives personality Kim Zolciak has split from DJ Tracy Young. She told an Atlanta morning radio program that it was “just a fling.”

It was a one-time deal and it’s just blown up. We spent a ton of time together. And, you know, things happen, that’s it.

She continued to make her relationship look very genuine by saying:

I said to her, “Look, wow, settle on down. It’s not good that we communicate. This has blown up like crazy and I don’t ever really wanna talk to you again. I don’t appreciate all this stuff. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed, [but] I have kids and a family. I adore [Young], she’s a great girl, but there’s not even going to be a friendship. There just can’t be.

Not that I ever had any respect for this person, but what I might have had is certainly out the window. I hope DJ Tracy Young can milk whatever DJ gigs she can out of this horrible publicity trip and “Tardy for the Party” and then get on with her life.

Jackie Warner has a new book and she’s not shying away from the facts. It’s called This is Why You’re Fat and promises “a complete nutritional makeover and a failure-proof condensed workout routine.” If you’re a fan of Jackie’s body (of work) then maybe you’ll like her program. Check it out April 27.

Speaking of trainers, Jillian Michaels is in the new issue of Success magazine, talking about her career as a multi-faceted fitness expert, including her involvement with The Biggest Loser and her new show Losing It. “I don’t do things for the sake of television, for the sake of hype,” she told the mag. “I do them because I have a greater meaning behind my agenda, and that is to improve the lives of my contestants.”

Remember that Ellen DeGeneres comic we told you about? Well Ellen has given it the thumbs up and is working with Female Force to give part of its profits to the Humane Society. Lesbians love their animals — and their comics, so now you have even more incentive to buy a copy.

Speaking of, The New York Times Magazine‘s cover story this weekend is called “Can Animals Be Gay?” Here’s an excerpt:

The same-sex pairs appear to do everything male-female pairs do except have sex, and [biologist Lindsay C.] Young isn’t really sure, or comfortable judging, whether that technically qualifies them as lesbians or not. But moreover, the whole question is meaningless to her; it has nothing to do with her research. ” ‘Lesbian,’ ” she told me, “is a human term.”

Is there a term that is not human? Maybe “Bah” or “moo.” Let’s leave it up to the animals to love who they love and have lesbian bed death if that’s the case. Animals: They’re just like us!

And on the comics tip, check out this book: Wonder Woman: Amazon. Hero. Icon. From the description:

Born of Greek myth, Wonder Woman‘s half century as an evolving symbol of stars-and-stripes patriotism and virtue, lesbionic winks, pre-Feminine Mystique and, later, diplomacy and go-go ’70s fashion is easily digested in sections covering her origins, weapons, lovers, allies and opponents.

Lesbionic? And accompanied by “vivid full-color reproductions of vintage artwork”? Sounds like a dream for the Wonder Woman fan in your life, which could you be you or your gay boy best friend. Or your mom. Get your own on April 6.

A new play called Bass for Picasso is based on one of Alice B. Toklas‘s cookbooks. Kate Moira Ryan, who is responsible for the Beebo Brinker Chronicles, penned the play, which debuts in New York at Kirk Theatre on April 17.

If you’ll be at the Dinah, come over to the mainstage on Friday, April 2, at 4:30 pm for our “So You Think You Can Dance Magic?” contest, judged by Bridget McManus, Fortune Feimster, Nicole Pacent and some other special celezbrity judges. The winner will dance with Bridget and Fortune on Logo TV.

And come out to our AfterEllen.com Meet-Up on Saturday, April 3 at noon at the Hilton in Palm Springs. Or if you’re just going to be hanging around the Dinah at all, come find Karman Kregloe or myself and say hello. We are friendly, especially when warm and surrounded by lesbians.

On Sunday April 4 at 12:00 p.m. join us again in the Logo Lounge for a table read of Feed creator Mel Robertson‘s script for her new feature film and episodic series, Queens of the World. Stars Nicole Pacent (Anyone But Me), Elizabeth Keener (The L Word), Nikki Caster Meghan Hall and others will perform, and stick around for a Q & A session with the cast immediately following.

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