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The Closet: Everthing Coming Out This Week (March 1 – 7)

Goodbye, Olympics! Hello, Oscars! This week we trade the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat for the red carpet and Hollywood’s most prestigious little gold statue. But there’s plenty of lesbian/bi content before Sunday night’s awards ceremony.

 

24 (Fox, 9:00) – President Taylor (Cherry Jones) finally has a meeting with Omar Hassan. Standard Bauer debacles ensue.

American Idol (Fox, 8:00) – Ellen DeGeneres and the rest of the judging panel weigh in on the top ten women performers.

American Idol (CBS, 8:00) – The top 10 guys perform, hopefully better than last week.

The New Adventures of Old Christine (Fox, 8:00) – Julia Louis-Dreyfus is on the cover of this month’s Redbook Magazine, subtitled “Hotter at 49 than 29.” Which is true. And you know who else is hotter than ever? Wanda Sykes. Here’s hoping for another season of the comedy dream team in Old Christine.

Law and Order: SVU (NBC, 9:00) – Kathy Griffin guest stars as a gay rights activist with the hots for Olivia Benson. Rumors are flying that their kiss has been cut by producers. Guess we’ll have to tune in to see.

The Real World: Washington DC (MTV, 10:00) – This week, bisexual Emily has to deal with Ty acting like a wanker, per usual. [AfterEllen.com Real World recaps]

Nip/Tuck (FX, 10:00) – It’s the very last episode of the show that thrilled us with a lesbian Portia de Rossi and grossed us out with every surgery. Goodbye, Liz. Way to stay strong (and gay) until the end.

The Oprah Winfrey Oscar Special (ABC, 10:00) – Celebrities interviewing celebrities. So saith The Oprah. And so it has been and will be.

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 9:00) – Callie and Arizona shelve their surgical skills to play Love Doctors to Mark and Teddy. Yes, that’s right: the lesbian couple is the most stable one at Seattle Grace. It’s not saying much, but we’ll take it. [AfterEllen.com Grey’s Anatomy recaps]

American Idol (Fox, 9:00) – Hey, does anyone remember the four people who got kicked off last week? Yeah, us either.

America’s Best Dance Crew (MTV, 10:00) – It’s Lady GaGa week on Randy Jackson’s answer to So You Think You Can Dance. No one works a prop like GaGa, but it will be interesting to watch that jump rope team try.

Skins (Britain’s E4, 10:00 GMT) – JJ falls in love, and lays the truth on Emily about learning to trust (again). [AfterEllen.com Skins recaps]

Caprica (SyFy, 9:00) – Bisexual headmistress, Sister Clarice Willow, befriends Amanda Graystone in an effort to find and free Zoe’s avatar. [AfterElton.com Caprica recaps]

Film Independent Spirit Awards (IFC, 8:00) – It’s like the Oscars for the cool kids. Precious is up for a half-dozen awards.

The Wanda Sykes Show (Fox, 11:00) – Wanda is all new with Wesley Snipes.

Survivors (BBC America, 9:00) – Lesbian doctor Anya continues to mourn the loss of her girlfriend (along with the other gazillion people killed by a worldwide pandemic).

The Amazing Race (CBS, 8:00) – Lesbian couple Carol and Brandy are on their way to Germany. Let’s hope they make up on the long plane ride from Chile. [AfterEllen.com Amazing Race recaps]

The 82nd Annual Academy Awards (ABC, 8:30) – Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin host The Big Show.

Tool Academy 3 (VH1, 9:00) – Lesbian tool Courtney can’t handle criticism. Shocking! [AfterEllen.com Tool Academy recaps]

 

The Rachel Maddow Show, week nights at 9:00 on MSNBC. [AfterEllen.com’s Rachel Watch]

Issues with Jane Valez-Mitchell, nightly at 7:00 on CNN’s Headline News.

The Suze Orman Show, Saturdays at 5 a.m., 9 p.m., and 12 a.m. on CNBC.

The Ellen DeGeneres Show, daytime weekdays. Guests this week: David Spade, Daniel Merriweather, Lauren Graham, Lindsey Vonn, Courtney Cox, Simon Baker, Jason Derulo.

 

Bitch Slap, on DVD Tuesday – It’s a B-movie with cameos by Lucy Lawless and Renee O’Connor. What else do you need to know?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 #33: Twilight part 2, on stands Wednesday – This week Buffy confronts Twilight, which sets the stage for next month’s Baddie unveiling. (Also releasing this week: Buffy season 8, volume 6 TPB).

Detective Comics: Batwoman #862, on stands Wednesday – The “Cutter” arc continues. The Dark Knight is still working the case with Batwoman, which means double the danger and double the gore.

And tomorrow, lesbian comedian Cameron Esposito‘s comedy album, Grab Them Aghast, will be available for download on iTunes.

What are you most looking forward to this week?

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