Batwoman is back!
During the mid season break, lesbian gem Ruby Rose starred in the CW’s 5-episode Arrowverse crossover, Crisis on Infinite Earths. Here’s a quick recap before we jump back to Gotham.
The superheroes in all the different shows teamed up to stop a Big Bad. In this case, it was the BIGGEST BAD of all: the destruction of all life in the Multiverse. An Anti-Matter wave dissolved each “Earth” until there was only one refuge left – a tiny spaceship, a loophole outside time and space. Batwoman was one of seven Paragons (she represented Courage) stuck there along with Supergirl, White Canary, and the Flash, tasked with restoring and rebirthing the universe. Big job for the new kid!
In the end, the day was saved with the help of The Green Arrow who sacrificed his life for the cause (and finally exits the TV series)…with one caveat: all the universes are one. Now there is only Earth-Prime, where all the superheroes co-exist (and no one except the Paragons know it was ever any different). I hope this means more interaction between the CW’s lady-loving characters.
I mean, look at this cozy scene of Kate Kane and Alex Danvers on Supergirls’s couch. That shirt looks MIGHTY unbuttoned. And those two’s toned thighs are definitely touching. More, please! Can they grab Sara Lance for a Trivia night?
If you’re confused by any of this, that’s okay. Just know that our Batwoman kicks alien butt and has a new super family. But for now, back to her Gotham fam, who is significantly more dysfunctional.
The episode starts full of action. An above-ground subway is speeding out of control. They’ve lost control of the brakes. Computer man Luke instructs Batwoman where to go, but she’s not listening. “I love this bike!!!” she shouts gleefully over the roar of her souped-up motorcycle. “It’s not my birthday for two days. You had no idea!” She’s confident and smiling. It looks good on her.
She shoots a cable from the bike and stops the train from crashing at the last second. But the cable is ripped from the ground and whips towards her. A pretty-boy cop tackles her out of the way, saying, “I got you ma’am.” Onlookers take a million photos of the Bat looking like a rescued bird in the arms of her savior and soon the city is shipping her and this Captain America.
“Have we not had this conversation? I’m very, very gay,” Kate tells Luke later, who says this hunk cop named Slam is giving her great street cred and that Batwoman gives off off “major straight vibes.” Kate makes this face.
Alice is celebrating in poor taste at Catherine’s grave, remarking to faux-brother Mouse that she finally killed Kate and hers mutual enemy. Alice still wants her to join team Dark Side. Mouse tells her that will never happen as long as Batwoman wears the mask. Alice angrily munches a Biscotti.
Mary is getting hate online and signs off social media. She’s working overtime with Sophie to prove Jacob didn’t kill her mom. Mary is handling this like a champ: focused, calm, collected, but setting boundaries. Kate wants to help but she’s too late- she enabled Alice and this whole situation. Sorrys aren’t cutting it. So without malice, Mary tells her, “Bye.” Someone give her a hug!
Kate and Luke check out the train for evidence. Kate finds the device that allowed it to be hacked, just as both their phones are hacked – and the whole city. An emoji face tells everyone to crowdfund $5 mil by Friday or they’ll release all their secrets. Ruh-roh! Luke turns off their Bat Cave so they can’t get hacked, but now Kate is working in the dark.
She watches as Sophie goes dark, too. This is a new, scorched earth bae, using unethical tactics to get information. An exasperated Sophie bumps into Batwoman who asks if she wants to talk. “Ever feel like you’re hiding from the world?” Sophie sighs. “I’m literally standing in a shadow,” Batwoman jokes. After a moment, Sophie admits her husband left her, and thinks she’s fooling herself. Stepping closer, Batwoman says, “We all wear a mask. Maybe it’s time you took yours off.”
Luke and Kate isolate the hacker’s voice and figure out it’s a girl at Gotham Prep, Kate’s old highschool. She crashes their dance, where everyone wants selfies. Batwoman uses her new toy that turns off all electronics and sees with her night vision a single person escaping with their phone. The hacker! This was actually a pretty tight sequence. The show is delivering on believable action, sleuthing, and narrative… except when Alice is on screen and then everything is topsy-turvy clown slap stick.
Batwoman corners her in the bathroom. The girl Parker is scared, and explains that she was on the train and controlling it, and just hoped the near death experience would garner empathy from her parents. Why? “I’m….uh…gay.” Batwoman doesn’t blink. Parker says her ex leaked that info to her parents who now clutch rosaries and want to disown her. Batwoman says, “That sucks. And it’s not fair. But that’s not an excuse to put lives in danger.”
Parker is losing it, and says tearfully,
“I hate myself, okay. And let’s rain check your it gets better PSA. We both know I’m going to grow up hiding my girlfriends and aspiring to be represented by an ancillary character on my favorite TV show. Just like you were probably the cool girl in high school and now you’re famous and now everyone is shipping you and the hotness guy. We have NOTHING in common. In fact, you pretending to feel bad for me is actually making it worse. So could you just leave me alone before I find more reasons to wish I were dead.”Parker walks out, only to run into Alice who knocks out Batwoman by hitting her once with a trumpet??????? I cannot with this show and Alice. Then they all convene in the woodshop to politely talk about talking off the mask while Alice holds an electric saw to Parker’s head. GIRLLLL, just capture this ding dong once and for all! But instead, Kate takes off her helmet. Parker gasps and starts to fangirl, and refuses to out Batwoman to the city.
Alice has C4 rigged to blow up the dance if Parker doesn’t comply. Kate says to do it, but Parker says Gotham needs Batwoman. Kate forces the phone in her hand. She sends out the text…. Well two. One to trick Alice, the rest telling where to find them.
Parker is let go. Kate immediately smacks Alice and super handcuffs her, saying with pure vitriol, “It doesn’t take a hero to know what pure evil looks like. You ruined my life. If everything you’ve done has been some sort of gift to me then take it all back…We were sisters. And then Beth died. And the world would have been a whole lot better if she had stayed dead.”
The bomb goes off just as everyone is evacuated. Hot Guy Slam is rescued by Batwoman this time. He tries to kiss her for a photo-op but she smushes her hand against his face. Unsubscribe.
Parker shows up the next day and jokes around with Kate. “Where’s your Bat Bike?” Kate plays dumb. “Riiiight, what Bat Bike,” Parker winks knowingly. Kate assigns her community service, and says she’s here if she ever needs to talk, and that it gets better if you stop hating yourself.
As the cherry on top, Batwoman does a magazine interview and comes out publicly as a lesbian. Thank Sappho they used the word “lesbian!”
