Making the (Lesbian) Case for Dating Apps

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Happy Hour

Dating apps are revolutionizing lesbian dating.

Since I’ve heard many lesbians complain about how this is rendering lesbian interactions superficial, I’d like to offer a positive outlook on lesbian dating apps instead.

Everyone knows at least one person dating apps have truly helped, if not shifted their entire experience in the dating world from tedious to exciting or successful. Though we usually remain cautiously pessimistic in case we don’t find what we’re looking for, keeping in mind the perks of online dating can help us achieve our goals –  or at least have a good time trying.

For one, dating apps offer safety for lesbians who aren’t out to their parents or community or can’t go to gay bars because they’re either underage or not ready for lesbian nightlife. You don’t have to get groped by men who aren’t getting the message or are choosing to ignore your disinterest. You can set boundaries by expressing in your bio what you’re uncomfortable with, allowing people’s whose comfort levels are different than yours flow past you.

Apps allow us to express our lesbian reality and utilize a user-friendly platform to expose that reality to the world. Potentially, we receive validation and support from other lesbians, even when we’re not necessarily looking for romantic interactions.

Apps allow us to express our lesbian reality and utilize a user-friendly platform to expose that reality to the world.

Dating apps can also lead to friendships. I made several good friends from dating apps after discovering that we weren’t compatible romantically. Having lesbian friends is just as vital as having a partner, because a lesbian community offers you just as much, if not more than a relationship.

When in a foreign country that may not be as friendly to gays or where homosexuality is illegal, you can still find and forge safe interactions, and later meet in public spaces. Even speaking to fellow gays in a country that denounces homosexuality is a revolutionary act and can lessen feelings of shame.

The next important factor is accessibility. You let someone know you’re into them with a simple swipe. You can un-match someone you don’t vibe with without the pain of having to explain why you’re not a good fit, saving both sides from an awkward and uncomfortable moment. Some apps even include generic questions that serve as conversation starters, which is very useful when you don’t do pickup lines. You communicate the important facets of your identity such as age and location and motivations for using the app such as “hookups”, simply with the bio function.

You begin to develop a second sense about a potential partner or dating lifestyle with the sum of all your interactions.

You can find out your taste by noticing patterns in your choices, such as a preference for red hair or philosophical conversations rather than small talk. This helps you know exactly what to look for in a potential partner outside the virtual dating world as well. You begin to develop a second sense about a potential partner or dating lifestyle with the sum of all your interactions. I know someone who realized she could only handle monogamy after experiencing jealousy as a result of dating app interactions. I personally discovered I couldn’t date Tauruses. (Now we know why astrology is dominated by lesbians).

Speaking of astrology, dating apps oftentimes don’t leave a space for drama. When you let your friends set you up with mutual friends and it fails, there’s an awkwardness in your friend group since your breakup caused a rift. Friends feel like they have to take sides if they know you both pretty well. On Tinder, you’re finding people that might not even be in the local lesbian scene, and that can be a good thing.

Another advantage is a decrease in jitters! Since chances are you already know some qualities of your potential partner and know a bit what to expect physically as well, you’re less nervous when you meet with her for the first time! This is an essential one for me, since dates stress me out in a general “useless lesbian” sense.

And finally, a priority of mine… no guys! Though you occasionally stumble on the guy who couldn’t figure the app out and landed in the wrong pool, or on the occasional “dare” guy, no men! You will spend less time rejecting men at the bar (since harassment still, unfortunately, can occur even when someone knows you’re disinterested) and more time complimenting the women you match with. Seriously, most of my chats consist almost entirely of an epic tennis match of compliments. So go forth and embark on your online lesbian adventures!