“Carmilla” recap (2.35 & 2.36): The world is a vampire

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Wow. I mean, holy cats, wow. This last week of Carmilla had so many chills, tears and shocking moments, I don’t even know where to start. I apologize that this recap is a little late too but you see I just got back from Toronto where I HOSTED THE CARMILLA FINALE! It was such a thrill to meet so many amazing fans and I will write up a full report early next week, including an interview with the cast after the finale. Ok, are you ready, here we go!

The battle wages on and poor Kirsch has earned himself a gaping stomach wound. Danny helps him onto the couch but you can’t keep a good man down. He wants to fight but Danny would prefer that his intestines stay firmly in place.

Screen Shot 2015-10-02 at 3.28.43 PMTis but a flesh wound

Laura is all put out that Carmilla didn’t come to fight but Danny is tired of hearing about that useless lesbian vampire. How many times do you have to put you life on the line to get a girl to notice, amiright? Just like Anya Jenkins before her, Danny does something incredibly brave and stupid. She pushes Laura out of the way and kicks a bunch of ass. Unfortunately she turns away from the danger to check on Laura and Kirsch, which seals her fate, and Gretchen Weiners Theo literally and figuratively stabs her in the back.

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Theo struts in as Danny bleeds out on the floor, and I can not legit remember anything he says because I was so full of tears and rage. Basically, he’s an opportunist and he placed his bets on Vordernberg. Kirsch feels the same way as me, and promises to get Theo one day, as Laura pulls a dying Danny onto her lap. It’s all very Eponine and Marius and I am cry-singing “A Little Fall of Rain” right now. Danny tells Laura that she meant what she said, that it was all worth it, that Laura was worth it. She takes her last breath right where she longed to be, in Laura’s arms.

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Danny, my dear, tall gay Danny. You were too good for this world. I think that shipping often overshadowed what a compelling character Danny is. Brave and smart, she is the Joan of Arc of Silas. She is the epitome of the tagline, “love will have its sacrifices.” Sharon Belle has done a hell of a job with this role, and I am gutted about losing Danny in the way I way I was gutted over losing Anya. Give me a complicated woman carrying a wounded heart any day.

Laura and Kirsch are devastated and yet they have to endure Theo sitting there, twirling his knife, gloating. Mel walks in looking for Danny and finds this terrible scene. They may have had their difference but Mel feels the ache of loss too. They were Summers Sisters, and Danny didn’t deserve such a death. She calls out Theo’s cowardice in the fact that he had to stab her because he knew he’d lose in a fair fight. Theo tells Mel to surrender, but she is ride or die and wants to kill her some Zetas. Laura is the one who stops her. There has been too much blood shed already. Mel reluctantly agrees to surrender after Danny is given a proper funeral a la pyre. These Summers do not mess around. That is some Xena shit right there. Theo agrees to give the Summers and Danny’s body safe passage. He then throws shade at Kirsch on his way out, and I have no doubt that Kirsch won’t let him live any of this down. As Mel steps forward to take Danny’s body, Laura clutches on to her tightly. It’s freaking heartbreaking. So much guilt and sorrow coursing through that tiny gay.

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There’s a rare fade to black and the next scene we see a broken Laura, staring off into space as Perry, LaF and J.P. arrive, excited about their recent find. They don’t even have time to process the loss of Danny before Vordernberg starts congratulating himself over the loudspeaker.

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He tells the campus of his plans to kill the rest of the board and publicly execute Carmilla in the quad. He then pokes his evil head around the corner and reiterates he’s going to kill Carmilla with a smile on his face. Jerk.