On the heels of the L Word-inspired Sappho Cosmetics line, and Three Custom Color Specialists just-announced new line of L Word lipsticks comes the announcement of a new Grey’s Anatomy-inspired cosmetics line, Death Warmed Over, designed for “workaholic women who don’t live healthy lifestyles, but want to look like they do.”
Some of their products include:
Meredith Mascara — This ultra-thin mascara coats your eyelashes fully, but is easy to wash off. Perfect for the woman with commitment issues.
Cristina Eyeliner — The dark, bold shades of this black liner convey a “f–k off” attitude with a hint of sarcasm. Best when paired with Meredith Mascara.
Izzie Foundation — This medium-toned liquid mineral foundation is infused with natural healing powers that work to prevent aneurysms, brain tumors, and bad writing. Disguises signs of exhaustion from working too late, or having sex with the deceased.
Bailey Blush — Perfect for the woman who never gets flustered or embarrassed, this translucent orange/brown powder will give your cheeks a youthful glow, while communicating your complete lack of interest in engaging in idle conversation.
Lexie Lipgloss — A shimmering, opalescent gloss with a sugary taste, Lexie Lipgloss gives your face just the touch of innocence you need to seduce the resident cad, or beg for a scrap of your half-sister’s attention.
Callie Concealer — This creamy, oil-based concealer is terrific for disguising skin discolorations, dark circles, and wrinkle lines brought on by sudden, inexplicable changes in behavior. (Note: Apply liberally after having sex with several people in one day.)
Brooke Bronzer — Discontinued due to compatibility issues with Callie Concealer.
Death Warmed Over cosmetics will be available beginning next month at Wal-Mart, CVS Pharmacies, and most walk-in medical clinics.
This is a Fake Gay News post — part of series of satirical blog posts about entertainment. That means it’s (mostly) not true.