Weirdomatic: Friday fun with ads


It’s no secret that people get nostalgic for the past. You know, the good old days, when everything was simpler, life was slower, people were nicer, and even when they weren’t, there was still a Lesson to be Learned. I’ve never felt that way, possibly because I was force-fed reruns of Leave It to Beaver at one point in my childhood. To me, “good old days” has always meant nosy neighbors, bad dresses forced on all the little girls, and story lines boring to the point of tears.

After a trip to, I’ll have to add one more to the list: The good old days were weird. And not a little disturbing. If you can tell something about a culture by looking at its advertising, what are these saying?

Tagline: “See a female colossus … her mountainous torso, skyscraper limbs, giant desires!” Because there’s nothing scarier than a large woman with larger “desires.” (Also, I don’t think she’s wearing any underwear.)

The eternal question: What is beauty in women? Answer: Gluing a miniature forest to your eyelids.

There was a machine for everything in the good old dark ages.

Be nice to old dad. Haven’t we all had one of these days?

Girls have cooties, report armed forces.

Your guess: that look on her face, before or after trying said product? (Ouch!)

My offering for a B movie tagline: “See a giant baby with man-face … his hairy eyebrows, chubby fist, giant Gillette!”

And these were just a few

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