“O’Reilly Factor” claims lesbian gangs taking over America

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Attention all AfterEllen.com readers: the jig is up! Our secret "national

underground network" of violent lesbian gangs aimed at criminal activity

and recruiting girls into the homosexual lifestyle has been exposed, and we

must now move to Plan B (colonizing Mars).

Yes, that’s what Fox’s The O’Reilly Factor actually suggested last

week (except for the Mars part, although I’m sure someone will suggest shipping

us all there any day now) in a segment they aired about the growing problem

of lesbian gangs terrorizing heterosexuals by stabbing and beating them, and

brandishing pink guns (as if any self-respecting lesbian would carry a pink

gun).

The claims were made by host Bill O’Reilly and "Fox crime

analyst" Rod Wheeler (picture above, right), a former

homicide detective who is clearly either mentally unbalanced, confused, willing

to say anything to get on camera, or thinks every woman who isn’t interested

in him is a lesbian (or D, all of the above).

I could analyze how ridiculous and unsubstantiated Wheeler’s claims are, point

out their similarity to the outrageous stories the Nazis made up about the Jews

back in the day, or question how such clearly inflammatory and inaccurate assertions based on distorted information got past even Bill O’Reilly’s fact-checkers, but other bloggers have already

done so quite handily (see here,

here,

here, and here, plus check out this gay male take, and this well-researched rebuttal).

Instead, I’ll just make fun of it. Because what else can you do in the face

of such insanity? (Well, besides telling

Fox what you think about these outlandish claims
, boycotting

companies that advertise on The O’Reilly Factor
,

and reading more about O’Reilly’s

record of distortion
, all of which I plan to do shortly).

Here are a few of the choicer statements made in the segment:

O’REILLY: In Tennessee, authorities say a lesbian gang called

GTO, Gays Taking Over, are involved in raping young girls. And in Philadelphia,

a lesbian gang called DTO, Dykes Taking Over, are allegedly terrorizing people,

as well.

Yes, and here in my New York apartment, we have regular meetings of LSOC (Lesbians Sitting

on the Couch), where we brandish hard plastic remotes menacingly at our television

set while cruelly biting down on popcorn kernels. Quick, catch us before we

strike again!

O’REILLY: When they recruit the kids, are they indoctrinating

them into homosexuality?

WHEELER: Yes, as a matter of fact, some of these kids have

reported being forced into performing sex acts and doing sex acts with some

of these people.

That’s right, don’t be mislead by the fact that 97% of pedophiles are male —

it’s lesbians who are the real danger to your children!

O’REILLY: …it makes sense that, if you had lawless gay

people, they would do this kind of thing, but you don’t associate it, you

associate homosexuality more with a social movement, not a criminal movement,

but you’re saying this is all over the country, detective?

WHEELER: It’s all over the country. It’s mainly in your larger

cities, you go from New York to California to wherever you want to name, you

can see these organizations.

Um, hate to break it you, Ron, but those "movements" happening "all

over the country" are called "pride parades," and the only thing

criminal about them is the sports bra-only look some lesbians try to pass off

as actual outfits.

WHEELER: "We’ve counted, just in the DC area alone,

over 150 gangs or crews or networks."

Yes, it’s true, we’re just one cell short of being a full-fledged terrorist

network. Don’t bother asking us where bin Laden is — we’ll never tell!

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